"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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psychology, predictibility and relationships

Zerotwoonenine

Senior Don Juan
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hey guys i am studying psychology in college and i just took my exams this thursday, think i got a high A.
Anyways here is my point, basically all relationships, the way you act, the way she acts, the way you thinks and what you do are all because of who you are, but in psychology we learnt that who you are may not be that unpredictable.
In early part of our lives its caused by how we are bought up and how we are treated by our parents, later part of our lives are influenced by other peple and partners in the past. Studies found that there are 3 types of people, secure, insecure/avoidant and insecure/resistant, many studies have found that secure and insecure types carry on to be those types in adulthood and this influence their relationships majorly.
resistant-worry partner dont really love them, that they are going to leave them and want to merge with other person completly, this will drive some people away.
resistant people either have-long term relationship and one-its
or short term relationships with broken heart and cant get over the last girl.
if you are resistant-lean back, i know you cant stop worry but you have to not show it, stop txting calling her 7 days a week, stop seeing her more than 2/3 times a week and show that you are dj.
Avoidant-worry if their partner gets too close, not really affectionate and dont really care about partner, partner want them to be closer.
what you need to do-put more effort in, txt her more, be more affectionate, you may be cold but dont show it, smile, when you see her be warm and greet her with a hug and a kiss, then she wont worry about you leaving her.
Secure-dont worry about partner get too close, leaving them or not really love them.
These people are the luckest, they do what they do naturally because of how they think.
Around 50% of population are secure, 15% resistant and rest avoidant.
Secure adults usually have long, loving relationships, avoidant and resistant people work as a pair because resistant person put effort in to keep avoidant person in the relationship.
Avoidant and avoidant dont work.
Resistant and resistant people argue alot but could work.
So think about how she acts and you can predict what to do.
Obviously her interest level will play a big part as well, so take that into account, but this is just a general guideline.:up:
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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naes

Don Juan
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As much as what you're saying is helpful and constructive, it's hard to respect with all the grammatical/formatting issues you got going. I've seen this a lot of this in the forums. Is it really that hard to spell and construct sentences properly? There are definitely some good points being made, but when I have to re-read sentences and try to make sense of it, the message loses meaning.
 
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