psyching yourself out

[lougv22]

this is my first post here. i am recently single from a long term relationship and i am trying to get back in the dating game, it's hard but i am movng forward slowly but surely. so here is what i noticed, if i go out with the express purpose to approach women i psyche my self out by putting pressure on myself. so what i found works better now is to just go out and put my self in situation with a lot of girls around but not necessarily pressure my self to approach any them. i just hang out and try to stay relaxed, if i see a girl i want to talk and the situation is right i'll talk to her, but i don't have this state of mind 'i have to talk to girls at all cost'. it's kind of like this, if you put too much pressure on your self you are screwing your self up.

anybody else notice that?

 

[Mr Spitfire]

You are on the right track. You should keep in mind that most of the time girls go out to talk to people that they know and to increase their network of friends through friends.

Due to this it is important to be known at the places you like to hang out at. Pick about 4 spots that girls frequent that you like to hang out at. Slowly become known as a regular at these places. Know the bartenders, the main regulars, and some of the rivalries or backstories that are commonly known. Once you have a handle on your environment the girls are no problem.

 

[Phyzzle]

Guys starting out can follow the 3 second rule. Just walk up and talk before you can psych yourself out. Expect to get rejected a lot, but, hey, it's a numbers game.