Psh. Field Report.

[ThunderMaverick]

As much as I hate posting a long field report, I feel kinda obligated to do so.

I forget which ASS said it, but in a nutshell he was b!tching about the quality of this site and how no one here gets laid. Apparently we're all keyboard jockeys who just READ about "DJ" principals without putting them into practice.

Ok this report doesn't end with me BONING a girl. (I did that last week at a friend's party. Don't ask. I'm not too proud of that one. Ugh. ) It does however, have to do with what Rollo talks about when he discusses the "Desire Dynamic".

Have you guys ever been in a situation where you look at a girl, you have a conversation with her and within LITERALLY a 2 or 3 minute conversation you KNOW for a fact that you're going to have sex with this girl and YOU KNOW she's thinking the same thing about you? I mean the level of attraction is uncannily mutual between both of you and you can almost hear those chemicals of desire mixing, almost boiling in your brain and all over your body.

It rarely happens to be honest with you, but when it does....BANG! Almost instantaneous. You two don't even have to talk. She doesn't have to know a thing about you but...I can't explain it. It's just there! No no guys I'm not talking about feelings here. I'm not talking about love at first sight. It's pretty much LUST at first sight. I'm sure that's where people get confused.

Anyways I'll get to those details in a minute.

So I'm bartending for a private birthday with about 30 or so people. Mostly family and a few friends. Most of them black. (I'm telling you most of these ladies were smoking! It was a well to do family with a ton of MILFS.) Anyways I'm getting ready to set up my bar with my barback. He's a 18 year old kid who only works when his parents want him to. (It's a family owned restaurant.) He would be what girls consider a cute kid and I'll tell you how this comes into play during the first scenario.

One of our first customers was I guess a "HB 6". We talk a bit and I find out that she works at a topless bar. (As soon as I find this out I adjust my thought pattern and attitude towards her; She's use to dealing with chumps. I have family members in the strip-club business so I usually know my way around a stripper's attitude. I know it sounds mechanical, but we do it everyday depending on who we talk to.) We got on the subject of the valley being the porn capital of the world and she's apparently clueless. Sensing how shy my friend was asked him if he watched porn. He didn't answer then she turned to me and asked. I said "hell yeah, probably too much of it. I should really leave myself alone once in a while" Hearing this, my friend got more bold and said "yeah..me too."

She could tell that my friend was squirming so she asked "so what do you do to it? He's Filipino and pretty dark, but he was bright fu*king red after this. Poor guy was out of his element. He had a really hard time answering and I was almost embarrassed for him. After much interrogation he blurted out "Yes! I jack off to it! I touch myself! You happy now!?" Hahaha.

She then asked me and I asked, "first off, what do you think about a guy jacking off"? She then got on her high horse (as expected) and spit out "I think because you guys can't get what you want and you're always 'thirsty' for it."

I asked her "it never occurred to you that maybe if I'm on a date with a pain in the ass that I would rather go choke my junk than try to impress someone not worth impressing? Are you that closed minded?" She then says "Y know what? I don't like that answer." and almost brushing me off walks away.

My friend then says to me "Oh d00d you got OWNED". I said "You really think so?" and shrugged it off. Five minutes later she comes back and says "I want a drink and your phone number by the end of the night." Not surprising, my friend's eyes were bugging out of his head. He couldn't believe it. She was asking for my name and asking to touch my hands and yadda yadda.

It would have been nice if I was as attracted to her as she was to me. Let's not overlook the fact that she works at a topless bar. Not my idea of a good date.

Later on in the night as I'm sitting behind the bar I see this SOLID HB 8 walking towards me. I'm sitting down relaxed and cool. (Plus I'm just too lazy to get up.) She's looking very cute. Long black hair. Dark skin. She had this...what is it? Like a sun dress or something? She looked classy as hell, that's all I can say.

As soon as she walked up she didn't get a chance to open her mouth. I said to her with a calm attitude and a ****y smile on my face "before you even CONSIDER getting wasted off that fruity little cosmopolitan I MIGHT make for you...I need to see some I.D." She didn't say anything, smiling the whole time I talked. She hands me her I.D.

It's that look also that we exchanged when she first pulled up to the bar. I don't mean to make this sound so goddamn scientific, it's just such a predictable process, y'know? Predictable in a good way, of course!

We ask each other about one another's racial background. (Literally I get asked on a daily basis what my race is.) She tells me she's mixed as well. She's like half Japanese half Ethiopian with some American Indian thrown in. She goes to USC (know a TON of people there) out here and is studying journalism. Like I said she seems like a classy girl. We flirt a little with each other a little more for a few minutes during small talk and I give her ONE corona. She's a friggin' light light weight, gentlemen. She had a really good buzz going, telling me how she usually doesn't drink etc.

As me and the "Mixy" are talking the girl who asked for my number earlier comes up and starts talking to us. No problem I guess.

Wrong. I find out that they're COUSINS!! Nooooooooooo!!!!!! I don't want to lose this potential date from Mixy, so I pull back on the heavy flirting for now and kinda start pandering to both of them, but just being polite and friendly. After a few minutes of talking to both of them, I think they both sensed what was up and they went to go do some "girl talk".


This post is too f*cking long. *deep breath* I was going to stop, but I guess I'll continue.

From time to time Mixy comes back from chilling with her family to come talk to me. (half the time she was there she was talking to me) The other girl comes up when "Mixy" leaves and says "Well I see YOU'RE having fun". Realizing that she knows I rejected her I say "I have a good time with EVERYONE here! I'm suppose to! I'm a bartender!" then try to do some more damage control. I don't know how much influence she has over her cousin so I don't want bad things being thrown around by her to mixy.

(Edit: Actually now that I think about it I was flirting pretty heavily with the topless bar girl. That was BEFORE the mixed came. Wow I probably seem like an a$$hole to her. Guess BBD applies to me too. Hahaha. Actually nothing would have come of me and the topless bar girl anyways.)

She leaves (finally) then mixy comes back and we talk until the night is over.

You know sometimes when you ask for a girl's number you kinda get anxious because even though you build really good rapport you still don't kinda know what she's going to say? None of that here. It was so flipping mutual it was as smooth as an oil spill on salt water. She gave me her schedule for the week and her and I made plans for next Friday.

Even despite what her cousin was saying about me (and I KNOW she was talking about me) she completely ignored it and was just as interested in me as I was into her. That's the kind of attraction I'm talking about here. The kind of attraction where you ignore the opinions of others and you just go for it. No words can stop it. Nothing can pull you back.

Like I said it's been a long time where I've experienced that kind of intense attraction and I forgot how it felt.

Feels good, just like I remembered.

So there's my friggin' FR. No I didn't get laid. Maybe that guy was right. This site sucks.



OH SH!T!! THIS IS MY 1000th POST! HOW SWEET IS THAT!?!? I actually feel like an official member here!:cheer: :crazy:

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Yeaah. Just want a small critique of my post.


Was it even worth posting?

Did anyone find any paragraphs of wisdom in my post?

Did anyone find that I might have did something WRONG in the event?

Hm. Was it a typical field report not really worth replying to?



Edit: INTERCEPTOR, CLEAN OUT YOUR PM BOX!! lawlz.

 

[Interceptor]

:moon:

 

[DJCT]

I don't know which post you are referencing about somebody saying nobody gets laid here. Maybe they were talking about the other forums, which I don't read. It seems to me that in the Mature Man forum we can all approach, get numbers, close, etc. No need to prove getting laid IMO as all of us are prob. getting laid. True there are a lot of keyboard DJs on this site but for the most part they're easy enough to spot and ignore.

Your FR was entertaining and well written. I enjoyed it. For most of us, this is pretty day-to-day stuff though. So although enjoyable, I don't think FRs add to the Mature Man forum unless they are centered around illustrating DJ principles in practice or working through specific problems and difficult situations.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Your FR was entertaining and well written. I enjoyed it. For most of us, this is pretty day-to-day stuff though. So although enjoyable, I don't think FRs add to the Mature Man forum unless they are centered around illustrating DJ principles in practice or working through specific problems and difficult situations.

You know what? I was thinking the exact same thing when I posted it! lol I said to myself "there's nothing new here? what's the point"? It wasn't really a situation that was enduring. My post about my friend's ex wanting to hang out got like 5 pages. That's something to talk about.

Next time I'll do a FR or a LR and It'll be really interesting! I promise! Like the girl got naked and actually had a penis interesting!

 

[DJCT]

haha

 

[DavenJuan]

TM

i agree, nothing new here in this FR, but KEEPEM' coming. there are tons of other trivial threads started but FR are always good to read even if it is everyday convo's.

maybe something in your FR someone will notice that you never did.

also YOU may notice somethings that you didnt realize after rereading your own FR.

 

[iqqi]

This was a great FR, I meant to read it last week but was busy.

So how'd the date go?! It is the next day....

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Well! We were talking about having a date tomorrow. I called yesterday, but she didn't call back. I mean I talked to her earlier in the week, but I have a feeling I should have called later in the week also. The way we spoke on the phone invited it. Being a "DJ" I decided to give her a few days of silence. My gut told me it wasn't right.


I'll be calling her again and leaving a message. If she doesn't call back then there will be a very important message I'll be giving after all of this.

 

[The Bat]

You didn't make definite plans for a date? How could you not?

I skimmed over it and I think you should have posted this in Discussion. Many of MMers frequent there too. Or you could have done one of those "This is what I learned from FR without the specific details". You know what I mean?

 

[thedeparted]

Well, I'm gonna give you some feedback, but you won't like it.

First off, talking about masturbation in public is best left for stand-up comics. I don't see anyway that is gonna play in your favor. It's skanky and there could be blow-back. I would lay off that aspect even if you are dealing with topless dancers. If I was your client, and that came back to me, you wouldn't be working my party again. Enough said.

Second, your main strength here is your setup being barkeep. The chicks come to you, and they also expect you to be experienced. It's kind of like being in the band.

Third, if you enjoyed the convo that is great. But the only mission accomplished was getting the #. That should be a five min. deal. The risk in the long leadup is that you're gonna get AFC about it. "This is the one. I can just feel it." All of that. Meantime, you lose your mystery and she gets bored.

I really feel that you could have closed the deal that night. After all that intellectual foreplay, you could take her just about anywhere. She may be disappointed you didn't. She's thinking, what in the hell do I have to do to get some action around here. Not returning the call could be a bad sign in this regard. But play through and see what happens with it.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=142895


There ya go you guys, as Bat suggested. lawl.

I did call back and we're still on tomorrow.

And no, Departed, I couldn't have closed that night. She was riding with family. And she was drunk. That would be...odd, closing a drunk girl while I'm sober.

First off, talking about masturbation in public is best left for stand-up comics. I don't see anyway that is gonna play in your favor. It's skanky and there could be blow-back. I would lay off that aspect even if you are dealing with topless dancers. If I was your client, and that came back to me, you wouldn't be working my party again. Enough said.

It's a laid back job, and I can read the atmosphere and people really well. I do work for another bartending company and the places they send me to, best believe I wouldn't be talking to ANYONE about masturbation. This place that I worked at in the story I could actually care less, and basically, so did management. I've done worse. I also read the stripper well enough to know that she could still be comfortable around me. It's all in HOW we says things, of course.

Third, if you enjoyed the convo that is great. But the only mission accomplished was getting the #. That should be a five min. deal. The risk in the long leadup is that you're gonna get AFC about it. "This is the one. I can just feel it." All of that. Meantime, you lose your mystery and she gets bored.

Uh. If you're TRULY vibing off someone you're not going to get bored after 5 minutes. 5 MINTUES?! She was there all night. It was a small bar, bro. She was always within visual range! There was no avoiding it! What was I going to do, after 5 mintues say: "Nice talking to you, I'll be right back!" and hide under the bar? :crackup:

Seriously we had a great convo and I'm glad it didn't last just 5 minutes. I don't think she would have enjoyed only 5 minutes also.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Oh ho ho HOOO!! WoW I'm confused!

What a disappointing night people. We say we're going to meet up at 7. She tells me around 630 that her keys got locked inside the trunk of her car. No prob. She says she still wants to meet up. As far as I know up until this point she's not flaking. I tell her we can move it back. We talk an hour and a half later and she says she still can't find her keys, even after AAA opens her trunk for her. Say to her that's cool from where I was I could just walk down to her place. She ask if I'm sure and I said "yeah, unless you want to reschedule" she says "no, come on over" I didn't get her address (LIKE I SHOULD HAVE, DAMMIT!) And I tried calling her for a good hour when I arrived at the cross streets of where she said she lived. No answer.


The thing is, is that she was supposedly sick. She said she was throwing up and had nose bleeds and whatnot. I understand. She still says she wants to meet up even after all of this! She even joked earlier in the night that she would go to the hospital after our date and even said "you want to come with me?" I told her sure! It would be like an action date! lawlz.

So I wait for an hour and a half for her to get back to me. 7 to 830pm

Walk down to where she lived. 850

Waited for an hour when I got to my destination. 10pm

I called her 4 times during that waiting hour. I mean I was THERE, I just didn't know exactly where she lived. She told me to call her when I was in the area. NO answer from her. Nothing. I left three messages. The first one was when I finally got to her cross streets, just telling her I was there (like she requested I do). Second time was 20 minutes later telling her I was still waiting and will call back in a little bit and leave if she couldn't get a hold of me.)

Third time I left the message I said "looks like this is a worse case scenario. you're probably in the hospital so I really hope you'll be ok. Just give me a call when you can to let me know you're ok. bla bla bla"

She never called even up until this point. I'm really...just confused. The vibe was really great between us and I swear she wanted to meet. Even inviting me to the hospital in case she really needed to go? That seemed like high interest right there! She even made jokes earlier about our conflicting schedules, saying "watch, we'll start dating and we'll only be able to see each other once a week" I mean good stuff. She returned my calls whenever I called her. We had good conversation.

Either she's really sick (I hope to GOD she'll be ok, because I'm genuinely concerned) or this is the worst act of flaking I've ever experienced in my entire life. I'm giving her until Wednesday to call me back. That's me being overly gracious as far as giving time is concerned.


3 hours, gone. My whole night a bust. Man I liked her too!

I'll keep you guys posted.

 

[iqqi]

Sorry to hear that.

It happens, though!

And it NEVER ever makes sense.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

I don't know what happened, Icky.

I'm really bummed out because I thought things were going well. I mean I've flaked on some girls and girls have flaked on me. I've been bummed for a few minutes, but then I'm like "some girls are like that" and I'm cool.

This one was different. I saw no signs of low interest. Everything I planned she agreed to. Even when she said she was sick and had her keys stuck in the car she still wanted to meet up.

Then I call her when I'm there and wait for an hour and NOTHING!

GAAAHHH!!! I mean COMPLETELY blindsided.

You think she's really sick?

 

[iqqi]

GAAAHHH!!! I mean COMPLETELY blindsided.

You think she's really sick?

No, I don't think that is it.

She knew you were coming, and she didn't do anything to fix the issue (if she couldn't make it).

No chick who really likes you is going to do that.

I think there is an outside situation that affected your situation with her. Perhaps she has a boyfriend, who she couldn't get rid of at the time. Or she was really nervous (you might be surprised). Maybe your phone game is wack.

I've noticed that many times, people make up WHATEVER reason they can, to not be interested in someone, and a lot of the time, it is out of fear. Fear of being rejected themselves, fear that they won't really like the person, fear of getting hurt, dumb irrational fear.

There is a small percentage of a chance she is just an evil B!TCH, too.

Or it could have been Fate preventing you from catching Herpes. That's how I tend to look at it.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Well I guess I can thank Raptor Jesus from preventing me from getting herpes then.

I can usually detect bullsh!t pretty well. It was hard to detect with this once, she was being very reciprocating when a problem would arise. Not one time did she mention meeting some other time. She kept asking ME "what do you want to do?" I told her and she told me "that's fine". Yeah, I might have dodged a bullet if she's really a b!tch.


That's a horrible thing to do to someone. lol I've never been flaked on that HARD before. :crackup:

 

[The Bat]

She tells me around 630 that her keys got locked inside the trunk of her car. No prob. She says she still wants to meet up.

She ask if I'm sure and I said "yeah, unless you want to reschedule" she says "no, come on over" I didn't get her address (LIKE I SHOULD HAVE, DAMMIT!) And I tried calling her for a good hour when I arrived at the cross streets of where she said she lived. No answer.

The thing is, is that she was supposedly sick. She said she was throwing up and had nose bleeds and whatnot. I understand. She still says she wants to meet up even after all of this! She even joked earlier in the night that she would go to the hospital after our date and even said "you want to come with me?" I told her sure! It would be like an action date! lawlz.

The first one was when I finally got to her cross streets, just telling her I was there (like she requested I do).

She even made jokes earlier about our conflicting schedules, saying "watch, we'll start dating and we'll only be able to see each other once a week" I mean good stuff. She returned my calls whenever I called her. We had good conversation.

She is an AW.

I've dealt with girls like her, unfortunately. They will lead you on, and it worked perfectly on you. I mean, here you are talking endlessly about this girl like you've known her forever. And you're "genuinely" concerned for her. I'm not criticizing your "genuinity" towards her, rather your attraction to her.

I think she just kept stringing you along by giving you the false hope of "yes, I still want to meet up" when her intention all along was to "lost my car keys" (i.e. avoid meeting up with you).

I don't know of anyway to avoid these type of situations other than making sure that you don't get sucked in to them too deep.

Also, I'm not sure if I would take her wanting to meet up with you when she was sick as a sign of high interest. I think a sign of high interest in that situation would've been, "i'm sick today but let's meet up next friday...hopefully i'm better by then". Do you see what just happened?

Anyway, stop crying over it and move on.

 

[iqqi]

I agree. A chick who is really into you, wants you to see her at her best. Not snively and sick.

Next time some chick says she is sick or lost her keys, act concerned, and then say "well give me a ring when you feel better/find your keys".

IMO you came across SORT OF desperate, by still wanting to see her NO MATTER WHAT.

Ya dig?

 

[ketostix]

Ya dig?

Why do you talk like a hoodrat. I agree though. She probably wasn't even sick but if she was and for her to tell you she'd see you now and and you agreeing, it probably amounted to little more than you failing her sh1t test. I didn't want to say anything before but you calling more than once then just waiting for her to contact you back was another sh1t test failure.