Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Protocol For Missed and Unanswered Calls - Flaking Solution

Capodeciña

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Okay, So I'll try and keep this brief as possible. I want to lay out all my situations right here and would like some sound advce on what protocal to take, without making myself more frustrated than I already am. There are 3 situations, here goes the first situation:

Situation #1:

Date: 30/10/10
Status: Club, Street Game
I approached this girl at the club. Infact it was after the club. A cold street pickup. Very short interaction, maybe less than 5 minutes, got her laughing, short rapport, talked about taking her out for the following week. She agreed. She has an 8-year-old son. Didn't exactly exchange numbers, but I took hers. She suggested and initiated it as she had to go quickly, because of her friends rushing her in and out of the club.

Followup:

Date: 02/11/10
First time I called her, she didn't pickup. Then she called me back and asked who it was, after 1 minute of telling her who it was, she asked how I got her number, then I mentioned something in the intitial interaction and she remembered. I was on my way to training, so I told her I would call her back.

I texted her the same day, at 00:00am. Something like, "Hey, I'm hungry! xoxo". I text without seeking any response or validation these days, as I get a better respone rate this way. Just statements, and no questions, like "Hey what are you up to?" I don't do.

She immediately calls me after this text. I answer, she then asks who this is? I then sarcastically tell her who it is, she then remembers again. This time, she says there was something wrong with her phone. Short rapport, by the sound of her voice, she sounded like she didn't want to talk and was just trying to find out who texted her, possibly is something legitametely wrong with her phone? She then says, she'll call me tommorow and we hang up.

Date: 03/11/10
I call her during the evening after training. No answer.

Solution?: Should I call her or wait a few days, if so how many days, Ideally I want to directly take this girl out, but because of the lack of rapport, and time wasting, I don't want to ask her out on the 'First' phonecall, because technically we haven't spoken properly, it is now Thursday 04/11/10.

Two reasons which is time wasting. It's now Thursday, and if I call her today and i do happen to get through, I can't schedule a date on that 'First' phonecall as it's too soon. Secondly, if i did schedule the date, it would be for the Weekend (Fri, Sat, Sun) where, typically girls are busy with other stuff and it's an easy shutdown for her. Ideally, like Pook and others say, shoot for the Weekday(s) (Tues, Weds, Thurs) for dates?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Capodeciña

Don Juan
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Situation #2

Date: 17/9/10
Status: Club, Street Pickup
Approached this girl outside of a cclub whilst I was speaking to my friends who owns the club. It wasn't a special night and looked a abit hasty, so I passed up there for a while, just to view the poon. Then a 2-set walk out. The cuter girl asks me for a lighter. I make rapport with her, and I walk her to the local newsagents. On the way back, we get physical fast. We get two major makeouts in the middle of the street and outside the club. By this time, I've fingered and dry humped her. Her friend is jealous.

Her friend asks the owner of the club, if ''I have money'' because her friend (The girl I was making out with) likes me. I'm not sure if this was some sort of c>ckblocking plotline, but whatever. I get her contact details, I go into the club for Free, get into VIP for Free and get Drinks for Free, I was completely alone, had no friends, because I knew of the owners and promoters and didn't plan on going out that night.

I danced with her, grinding, making out, all that other jazz. I shot for the SNL plotline, at first she seemed interested, but I figured she was bluffing, due to her going back in the club and avoiding the statement when I dragged her outside to talk. Her state was 50% alc and 50% IL. I guess the alc% took over when I suggested the SNL back to my place.

Followup:
Date: Same week, possibly 24th.

I call her up, we build some rapport. I told her I was taking her out the same week. We work out what times, to schedule it, as she works late shifts. Everything seemed sorted. I called her back, probably the next day if I can remember. I don't think she answered. I left a funny voicemail and said "Pvssycat says call me back". Just generally not caring.

She texted me back, saying it made her laugh. Yet she still didn't call. I think I called her back a few days later and the same thing happend. At this point, I told myself to NEXT her. I did. Kept the ball rolling with other chicks who can make better use of my time.

Date: 03/11/10
She randomly texts me out of the blue, asking how I am and all the stranger chit-chat having not been in contact for over a month down the line. I obviously know who it is, but I just text back asking what (hername) it is. Giving the impression I have other chicks by he rname, just sh|t testing her a little, busting her balls. She texts back, some garbage in Spanish that I still haven't translated yet and says it is "My Twin", then some other stuff in Spanish. Looked like a drunk text

I called her, and left the voicemail, "W.T.F". She hasn't texted or called back. Should I pursue her, because after I NEXTED her a month ago, she has the audacity to text me back, maybe she isn't getting attention from elsewhere and feels at lost, or maybe she was just randomly texting people in her phone to get attention. What shall i do here?
 

blueline

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fuck both of these girls, it should never be this hard. when they're interested, there is a certain urgency involved and you will be ****ing them in less than a week or two.
 

Tesl

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Capodeciña said:
I don't want to ask her out on the 'First' phonecall, because technically we haven't spoken properly
This is a MISTAKE.

You should be calling her to ask her out. You shouldn't be calling someone trying to build rapport on the phone, shes either interested in you or she isn't. Trying to generate conversation on the phone isn't going to save you.

Phone numbers aren't worth much, unless proper rapport has been built when you met. You two didn't do that here, which is why you know she probably won't come out with you after.

I'd not bother calling her again, you've tried enough times already and she isn't giving good signals.


Scenario 2 - I think you had interest from her given that she came back to you, I don't know why you felt the need to pretend you forgot her. In my book that's just stupid.

You shouldn't be leaving voicemails and waiting for her to call you, it just doesn't work that way. If she doesn't pick up, then leave it and phone back another time. Or if that doesn't work just drop a text inviting her out on some night and then forget about it.

It seems like you've spent plenty of time reading about game and how to handle different situations but still aren't applying them correctly. For example, I've no idea what you were trying to achieve texting "Hey, I'm hungry! xoxo"
 

Capodeciña

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Tesl said:
This is a MISTAKE.

You should be calling her to ask her out. You shouldn't be calling someone trying to build rapport on the phone, shes either interested in you or she isn't. Trying to generate conversation on the phone isn't going to save you.
Well how do you know if she's interested in you if you aren't building rapport. By what other means, the interaction has passed and her leaving before anything could spark was out of my hands. I just think, asking to go out on the first phonecall seems desperate. yes, it is direct, and yes, soumething that could be said in 5 words need not be said in 10. But, you have the wrong sequence and are jumping steps, it seems. Consequently, shooting yourself in the foot.

Phone numbers aren't worth much, unless proper rapport has been built when you met. You two didn't do that here, which is why you know she probably won't come out with you after.
I have the 'instinct' as it were, to know when a girl will flake now. However, with this girl I didn't go with that instinct. I find it astounding, that a girl will readily, and even suggest herself, giving her contact details (not fake either) to some guy she has no intentions of seeing or talking to again, assumptions aren't getting anybody far here.

I'd not bother calling her again, you've tried enough times already and she isn't giving good signals
Well, I've called her twice since retrieving her contact details. We've spoken properly once. The second time, very briefly when she called me and then today, when I called her and it was unanswered. To me, thats not calling enough. Theres persistance and then theres being desperate. Its exactly with the girl from a month ago. I haven't contacted her since she didn't answer my calls back then, yet, a month later, she is texting me back. You're correct and I see what your getting at, an intrested girl will have ''time'' to talk to you, time to see you and will make it easy, illogically or logically. But no signal, whatsoever, is a sign of disinterest.


Scenario 2 - I think you had interest from her given that she came back to you, I don't know why you felt the need to pretend you forgot her. In my book that's just stupid
Maybe it was a stupid-move. But, I'm not that type of guy to come out of a month and say ''Hey whats up'' after she was giving off flakey behaviour a month ago. To me, thats just setting myself up for more frustration. It's like an animal behind a cage, with the puppeter swaying the milk from side-to-side.

You shouldn't be leaving voicemails and waiting for her to call you, it just doesn't work that way. If she doesn't pick up, then leave it and phone back another time. Or if that doesn't work just drop a text inviting her out on some night and then forget about it.
I wasn't ''waiting'' per se. I just left a voicemail, inclined to know what the hellw as going on with the random texting and language barriers. I'll admit I am not concerned with or when I get a call or text back from any girl, I just make statements and throw it out there, if they text or call back. Win for me. If they don't. I don't lose nothing. I just find it banal, for a girl to text me, right after I call her telephone number and she didn't pick up. That is hair-pulling-frustration.

It seems like you've spent plenty of time reading about game and how to handle different situations but still aren't applying them correctly. For example, I've no idea what you were trying to achieve texting "Hey, I'm hungry! xoxo"
Perhaps, but I've implemented game in real life more. There is no MAGIC LINE, ROUTINE, PILL, WAY OF DOING THINGS, with women. So, I'm not getting at what you mean by applying them correctly, applying what correctly? A way of doing things? Well I break the rules and assort concepts by my own standards and seeth through what works and doesn't. That text is a statement. It seeks no reply or response. But it was responded to.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Tesl

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Capodeciña said:
Well how do you know if she's interested in you if you aren't building rapport. By what other means, the interaction has passed and her leaving before anything could spark was out of my hands. I just think, asking to go out on the first phonecall seems desperate. yes, it is direct, and yes, soumething that could be said in 5 words need not be said in 10. But, you have the wrong sequence and are jumping steps, it seems. Consequently, shooting yourself in the foot.
We might have to agree to disagree here. What I'm saying is if you know you haven't built the rapport already, it would be difficult to impossible to generate that on a long phone call. I might be wrong of course, its only my opinion.

I don't think asking a girl out on the first call sounds desperate at all, its the way things usually work. I actually think the opposite, if I called a girl and didn't ask her out I imagine she'd feel a bit confused and wonder why I called in the first place.

I have the 'instinct' as it were, to know when a girl will flake now. However, with this girl I didn't go with that instinct. I find it astounding, that a girl will readily, and even suggest herself, giving her contact details (not fake either) to some guy she has no intentions of seeing or talking to again, assumptions aren't getting anybody far here.
I dunno, I've done this before plenty of times even as a guy. At the moment you are talking to them you feel that sure, why not meet up again. By the time a bit of time has passed you don't feel like making the effort. That's why building up as much rapport as possible in the first place is important.

I'm not necessarily saying you made tons of mistakes here, just that you are in a difficult position as far as generating interest now.

Maybe it was a stupid-move. But, I'm not that type of guy to come out of a month and say ''Hey whats up'' after she was giving off flakey behaviour a month ago. To me, thats just setting myself up for more frustration. It's like an animal behind a cage, with the puppeter swaying the milk from side-to-side.
Maybe. I'll just agree to disagree again :)

Perhaps, but I've implemented game in real life more. There is no MAGIC LINE, ROUTINE, PILL, WAY OF DOING THINGS, with women. So, I'm not getting at what you mean by applying them correctly, applying what correctly? A way of doing things? Well I break the rules and assort concepts by my own standards and seeth through what works and doesn't. That text is a statement. It seeks no reply or response. But it was responded to.
I'm not talking about lines or routines. There are just things you did that make me wonder if you'd read them on here but were applying them wrong. Sending that text to "generate mystery" or something, or pretending to forget her to try and demonstrate higher value.

For what its worth I hate lines/routines as well, I think being natural/honest is the best policy (whilst building yourself into the type of person that naturally does the right things). That's why I thought pretending to forget her was weak ;)
 
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