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[TheSmokingGun]

I will jump to the point, I need some advice...

There is a girl from my work that I have liked for a couple of years. We would always flirt heavily. However, I was in a LTR and so was she. Both of our LTR ended within a couple of months of each others and she asked me out. I told her I was busy and then countered, etc. I played the game the first month - negs, mysterious, busy, etc. and things were hot and heavy between us. She would try to stay over, invite me out, cancel her plans for me, etc. However this past month, I feel like I am moving into the friend zone for some reason.

Some examples of why I feel like I am becoming a friend:
- At first, we had sex every couple of days. Now, we haven't had sex in a month.

-She used to try to stay the night, now before we get back to my place, she will say that shes tired and wants to go home.

-She used to text me all the time, now its rare if she does.

Im still playing the game but it feels like regardless of what I do, the interest is fading. Dont get me wrong, she still will touch me, flirt with me, etc. But if feels as though the interest is fading.

I know she had went out with other guys before me, after her LTR ended, but I'm thinking that I was the rebound. And I know what happens with rebounds, I should just hold on and enjoy the ride while it lasts.

I also think I am the rebound because I cant see what I am doing wrong? I like to think that I know the game pretty well and how to act around women...maybe not!

My question is, how do I tell exactly where we stand? I want to know specifically where her interest level is. I'm of course not going to ask her! I want to know if I should write her off or pursue her to see if there is anything left.

Should I do a no contact for around 5 days and see what happens? Should I ask her out and see what happens? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[=VAGO=]

Sounds like this is the only girl in your life at the moment. Do yourself a favor and go meet 4 more. The more you have in your social web, the easier it is to not be focused on just one. If you really wanna know where you stand take charge and get her on a date or your place, whatever, and escalate physically. Remember, it's your role as a man to set things up not hers.

 

[TheSmokingGun]

I agree with your statement about getting more girls, you can never have enough. But the fact is, Im going out for lunch tomorrow with a new girl. The number girls are not a problem.

Im not really attached to this current one, I just want to know if I should waste anymore time with her and what I should do to find out where we stand.

Thanks for the advice, however, that I need to initiate the date and make some moves to find out her current interest level.


I will see what anyone else has to say. Thanks!

 

[Kailex]

Move on.

If she had sex with you every few days and now it's been a month... she's found someone else to satiate her sex drive.

She's not worth the time and the trouble. She either went back to her ex or she is moving on from her "rebound guy" (which is you).

When she texted all the time, did you reply?
When she stopped saying over, how were you reacting?
Have you said anything to her about her lack of sex lately?

Because, my opinion (although I am missing details probably) is that maybe she sensed that you were moving into relationship mode and backed off. I'd hate to say this, but something you did must have set her off and caused her to back away from what you two were doing.

And from what I can tell, it just seems like she was maybe just using you because "the game was exciting" but after a month, if you're still gaming the same way, it gets monotonous and becomes a routine.

And you don't need to know what her IL is, she's already showing you. If you can't tell what it is from just those above signs, then you've got another thing coming to you.

And read up about No Contact. It's not just something you do for X amount of time in hopes of that person coming back to you. If that's what your hopes are, then you're doing it wrong and for the wrong reasons.

Are you sure you're not more hung up on this girl then you are letting on?

And yes... hell yes, spin more plates.

 

[TheSmokingGun]

When she texted all the time, did you reply?
I replied but only some of the time. Also, I would wait a while before replying and I would only get to the point. I would never set up dates through texting or chat through texting.

When she stopped saying over, how were you reacting?
I acted like I didn't care - I didn't say anything about it.

Have you said anything to her about her lack of sex lately?
No I have not. I didn't think I should bring it up.

Because, my opinion (although I am missing details probably) is that maybe she sensed that you were moving into relationship mode and backed off. I'd hate to say this, but something you did must have set her off and caused her to back away from what you two were doing.
I think you might be right about this. A couple of times we were out and both of us had too much to drink. She would start talking about serious things and I would always divert her off topic because I didnt feel as though we should be talking about serious things this early in a relationship. She got pissed a couple of times and called me an avoider.


And from what I can tell, it just seems like she was maybe just using you because "the game was exciting" but after a month, if you're still gaming the same way, it gets monotonous and becomes a routine.
Also you are right, I am gaming the same way and haven't changed much. I didnt think that this could have been the problem but of course!


And read up about No Contact. It's not just something you do for X amount of time in hopes of that person coming back to you. If that's what your hopes are, then you're doing it wrong and for the wrong reasons.
I thought it was a great way to see how her interest level was.


Are you sure you're not more hung up on this girl then you are letting on?
I didnt think I was but after writing this post, I might be!


Thanks for the advice...

 

[TheSmokingGun]

One vote for try to escalate physically and one vote for walking. Maybe I should combine the two, try to escalate and if that doesn't work, walk.

 

[Accension]

She knows you have no other options and that you value her more than she does you.

Let what I said hit you.

 

[TheSmokingGun]

I tell you whats funny, I just came back and reread my post and man I sound like a *****! I have tried to learn the game and I always thought I knew how to act around women, but its so easy to become a wuss around girls and not even know it.

I made some mistakes with this one but hey, what the hell, at least it was good practice. Hopefully next time I can recognize earlier if Im wasting my time and money with the wrong girl and also not make some stupid mistakes.

Thanks for your help guys and sorry for the unnecessary post. I didn't need advice, I just needed to step back and look at my situation without oneitis distorting my vision.