Proper way to break up with girl?

[Nickface]

So I been dating this chick now for a couple of weeks. Usually when a chick does me wrong, it's quite easy to just stop retuning calls/text. But with this one, she hardly did anything wrong. I'm simply not into her. Every time I feel the need to break it off in person, we end up getting intimate and I revert back to dating her.

What is the best approach to get out of a relationship with a chick you don't exactly want to be with. She simply gets way to attached.... I figured I can just disappear (such a ****ty thing to do in this case) or I can try again with the "it's not you, it's me" epilogue. I much rather do this in person or even over skype. I would listen to recommendations for breaking up via text as well...

Someone talk some sense into me...

 

[JohnChops]

im in for answers, in the same boat buddy.

 

[No.Danny]

Be honest about it. Say it's not working out. That's the best way.

 

[VladPatton]

You do it exactly like this:

http://youtu.be/hjlE9ayXGX0?t=32s

 

[Partizan]

I've always been of the opinion that if you've been on multiple dates and have had sex, you owe it to her to end it face-to-face if she's a genuinely nice girl.

It's tough but the right thing to do.

 

[GS750]

Simply say I don't think we should see each other anymore, this isn't working for me.

 

[Nickface]

Agree with you guys. But honestly, it's not as simple as that. When you invested a lot of intimate time with someone I doubt "this isn't working for me" really constitutes as a legitimate excuse.

That being said. There's no easy way of breaking up with someone who has not done a thing wrong...

 

[GS750]

Then you have a dilemma. No matter what you say, she's likely going to be upset. But you know you have to do it, just don't be a d*ck in the way that you do. I've been in this situation, you feel guilty like you're leading her on. It sucks but you owe it to her to end it if you're not feeling it so that she can move forward. Good luck.

 

[El Payaso]

If she's done nothing wrong then just be honest, upfront and mature with her. At least, that way, she doesn't become too jaded.

 

[Nickface]

Thanks for the advice guys. I'll be upfront about it and pretty much just freestyle it...

 

[buzzin_frog]

So I been dating this chick now for a couple of weeks.

2 weeks.....and you have to give it this much thought?

2 weeks is nothing to contemplate this much over!!

Just come out and tell her the truth....say "I don't think it's going to work out with us"

If the roles were reversed.....do you think she would be on a message board asking women what to say to you?....hell no, she wouldn't spare your feelings at all....she would tell you the same!!

don't be afraid of hurting a woman's feelings......they won't care to hurt yours when the time comes.....when she loses attraction she will be the first one to dump you!!

when you don't want someone.....tell it like it is....no use in keeping someone around that you dont want just because you want to spare feelings!!

She would do the same to you without even thinking.....just do it!!

 

[Nickface]

Meet her for lunch one day. As soon as the two of you sit down at the table, start looking around (under your seat, behind you, etc).

She'll eventually ask what's going on.

Then look at yer and say: "I lost my feelings for ya."

NEXT!

Haha this made me laugh! Grr

 

[Nickface]

2 weeks.....and you have to give it this much thought?

2 weeks is nothing to contemplate this much over!!

Just come out and tell her the truth....say "I don't think it's going to work out with us"

If the roles were reversed.....do you think she would be on a message board asking women what to say to you?....hell no, she wouldn't spare your feelings at all....she would tell you the same!!

don't be afraid of hurting a woman's feelings......they won't care to hurt yours when the time comes.....when she loses attraction she will be the first one to dump you!!

when you don't want someone.....tell it like it is....no use in keeping someone around that you dont want just because you want to spare feelings!!

She would do the same to you without even thinking.....just do it!!

Thanks for the truth serum. She's a real emotional chick. I guess I'm just afraid of her reaction more then anything but in the back of my head I know, a few days from now, I won't care...

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Wow - 2 weeks and you're already in what you call a "relationship" with this girl?? Shouldn't have claimed her that fast in the first place.

Anyway... if you're going to break it off, make sure you either do it in public or at her place so you can leave afterward. If you do it at your place, getting rid of her afterward could prove to be difficult. As for the actual break up speech: whatever you do, do NOT put it all on her. Like, don't say "you're not pretty enough" or "I'm just not feeling you," etc. - she's going to feel like these are things she could change to keep you, and if you're finding yourself not interested already you know her changing these things isn't going to do it. Just keep it simple: "It's been great getting to know you, but I just don't see us being together long-term. It's just not working out for me, and I don't want to waste your time when I know this isn't going to go anywhere." If she asks for further details, don't give 'em to her; just stick to what you originally said, then tell her you have somewhere to be (in fact, mention the "having to be somewhere else" bit before the speech, that way she won't hold you there).

Hope this helps!

 

[buzzin_frog]

Thanks for the truth serum. She's a real emotional chick. I guess I'm just afraid of her reaction more then anything but in the back of my head I know, a few days from now, I won't care...

She's going to be upset that's for sure.....all chicks are when you break it off.

Just do it the fastest and easy way possible.....most chicks don't even care when they do it....they will do it by text or voicemail just to get it over with

Wow - 2 weeks and you're already in what you call a "relationship" with this girl?? Shouldn't have claimed her that fast in the first place.

Anyway... if you're going to break it off, make sure you either do it in public or at her place so you can leave afterward. If you do it at your place, getting rid of her afterward could prove to be difficult. As for the actual break up speech: whatever you do, do NOT put it all on her. Like, don't say "you're not pretty enough" or "I'm just not feeling you," etc. - she's going to feel like these are things she could change to keep you, and if you're finding yourself not interested already you know her changing these things isn't going to do it. Just keep it simple: "It's been great getting to know you, but I just don't see us being together long-term. It's just not working out for me, and I don't want to waste your time when I know this isn't going to go anywhere." If she asks for further details, don't give 'em to her; just stick to what you originally said, then tell her you have somewhere to be (in fact, mention the "having to be somewhere else" bit before the speech, that way she won't hold you there).

Hope this helps!

a public place?.....it was only for 2 weeks.....it shouldn't be this serious, require this much thought, or take all that effort to get it done!!

this is something you would do for an LTR......not a 2 week fling

some chicks in LTR's just text the guy it's over.....they don't put any effort into it....why should he for only 2 weeks?

All of this is a waste of time....you don't even have to meet up....call her up and tell her how you feel....this shouldn't be that hard.

She would do the same over the phone....she wouldn't put herself out for a guy she has no interest in only for 2 weeks...do the same!!

 

[spiegel549]

I think you moved way to fast with this broad. If you are already having wishy washy feelings about her, the alpha and RIGHT thing to do is tell her face to face you aren't feeling her that way.

You obviously enjoy getting sexx from her but its not right to lead her on thinking there will be something more.

(said nicely but blunt) Just man up and pull the plug.

 

[Desdinova]

I've always been of the opinion that if you've been on multiple dates and have had sex, you owe it to her to end it face-to-face if she's a genuinely nice girl.

It's tough but the right thing to do.

When a man is breaking up with a woman, he doesn't owe her this. He may owe her the 5hit that she left at his place or money he borrowed from her, but he does not owe her a face-to-face breakup.

Women created the "proper" face-to-face breakup out of anger and bitterness, likely when a man would call her on the phone and tell her it's over. Women have since been guilting men into breaking up face-to-face, using the statement "he wasn't man enough to do it". A face-to-face breakup does NOT define masculinity.

When a man breaks up with a woman, he should do it the most convenient, easiest, fastest, and safest way possible. The quicker and easier he does it, the quicker and easier it is to move on.

Breaking up face-to-face is...
- NOT convenient
- NOT quick
- NOT easy
- NOT safe

The very last time I broke up with a woman face-to-face was in my house. She trashed my living room before she left. If you do it out in public, she may not hesitate to fvck up your car or possibly even become violent with you. WHY IN HELL would you want to put yourself and your property at risk just because womankind says this defines you as a man?

A man looks after himself and his property, and would be stupid to let women define him by putting both of these at risk.

 

[JohnChops]

When a man is breaking up with a woman, he doesn't owe her this. He may owe her the 5hit that she left at his place or money he borrowed from her, but he does not owe her a face-to-face breakup.

Women created the "proper" face-to-face breakup out of anger and bitterness, likely when a man would call her on the phone and tell her it's over. Women have since been guilting men into breaking up face-to-face, using the statement "he wasn't man enough to do it". A face-to-face breakup does NOT define masculinity.

When a man breaks up with a woman, he should do it the most convenient, easiest, fastest, and safest way possible. The quicker and easier he does it, the quicker and easier it is to move on.

Breaking up face-to-face is...
- NOT convenient
- NOT quick
- NOT easy
- NOT safe

The very last time I broke up with a woman face-to-face was in my house. She trashed my living room before she left. If you do it out in public, she may not hesitate to fvck up your car or possibly even become violent with you. WHY IN HELL would you want to put yourself and your property at risk just because womankind says this defines you as a man?

A man looks after himself and his property, and would be stupid to let women define him by putting both of these at risk.

Repped you, but wanted to come in this thread (back in) and say thank you Desd. This put a lot of things in a logically sense for me. :rockon:

 

[spiegel549]

When a man is breaking up with a woman, he doesn't owe her this. He may owe her the 5hit that she left at his place or money he borrowed from her, but he does not owe her a face-to-face breakup.

Women created the "proper" face-to-face breakup out of anger and bitterness, likely when a man would call her on the phone and tell her it's over. Women have since been guilting men into breaking up face-to-face, using the statement "he wasn't man enough to do it". A face-to-face breakup does NOT define masculinity.

When a man breaks up with a woman, he should do it the most convenient, easiest, fastest, and safest way possible. The quicker and easier he does it, the quicker and easier it is to move on.

Breaking up face-to-face is...
- NOT convenient
- NOT quick
- NOT easy
- NOT safe

The very last time I broke up with a woman face-to-face was in my house. She trashed my living room before she left. If you do it out in public, she may not hesitate to fvck up your car or possibly even become violent with you. WHY IN HELL would you want to put yourself and your property at risk just because womankind says this defines you as a man?

A man looks after himself and his property, and would be stupid to let women define him by putting both of these at risk.

You make a great point. You had me thinking over the last hour about all the past face to face break ups I went through....brutal...could of been avoided with a simple phone call lol. Great point!

 

[goldengoose]

She's a real emotional chick. I guess I'm just afraid of her reaction more then anything

I've always been of the opinion that if you've been on multiple dates and have had sex, you owe it to her to end it face-to-face if she's a genuinely nice girl.

It's tough but the right thing to do.

if you're going to break it off, make sure you either do it in public or at her place so you can leave afterward.

The OP admits to this chick being emotional and afraid of her reaction. You guys advise him to meet face to face in a public place or alone at her place. WTF?

That's the last thing this guy wants to do where she can get emotional and cause a scene. Going to her place with nobody around is even worse where she can accuse him of something. You never want to put yourself in a bad situation where you can get into trouble when it comes to women. Use some common sense here. This is dangerous AFC advice.

He owes this girl nothing, she was partaking in the sex as well if there was any. If he feels this chick isn't up to par it's his choice cut her loose.

All he needs to do is call her or text her his thoughts. That's all that needs to be done. Haven't you guys ever heard of the pump and dump? I thought you guys were spinning plates? You don't ask chicks to meet you in person to dump. Do it on the phone. It's a lot easier that way. Never put yourself in a bad situation. Stay at bay.