Proper etiquette after you had sex with new girl

[st_99]

So you would think at my age I would have figured this out but
I still run into walls after having sex with girl.

It usually goes something like this:

Meet girl through friends, work, bar etc. Some I've known
for a day, some a couple weeks, few a couple months, etc before sex.. So they are not all, just met, ONS situations.

Problem is most start pulling away after sex. The ones I like, I will
attempt to make contact, be nice, etc. and they end up pulling away. I tried acting
like I REALLY like them, tried acting aloof, tried something in between.. I feel like I'm all
over the place and just need to always be the same no matter what but am not sure
how I should be acting.

The ones I don't like, I blow them off. They usually attempt to contact me
and I really don't care so I never know or care what the turnout would be.

Before we ever had sex they have very high interest level. Even to the point where they
ask ME out, pay for my drinks, always touching me, etc. Then they seem
to pull away.

I guess what I'm saying is I can never say I'm "dating" someone
because I just never feel like I am. After banging them once to say 3 or 4 times it never
goes any further. I don't get it.

I'm to the point where I just feel like if they ever want to hang out, they can call me other wise I really
don't care and wont contact them at all until they CLEARLY demonstrate consistent high interest. But that can't be right either.

Ps (spare me the bad sex explanation, lets just assume for sake of argument its all good in that dept)

 

[scorpio1138]

Keep trying.

maybe contact them less, leave it up to them. I find that works better then initiating the contact all the time. Keeps the interest level up.

 

[DJDamage]

The ones I don't like, I blow them off. They usually attempt to contact me and I really don't care so I never know or care what the turnout would be.

This is what your mindset should be to all women including those you like.

 

[DJ SO STEVE]

Try to give us some details on how exciting your dates are etc. and how often you meet them. Are you spontaneous, do you make them laugh and smile a lot? You gotta keep their interest level up and get it higher than yours.

One thing for sure that doesn't sound right is that you wait 3 or more months before you have sex with them. That sounds like high school 15 years ago. Women are horny too, if you don't put the moves faster you might be wasting your time with some of them.

What are your goals here, it seems that you are looking for an LTR is that true?

Please give more details.

 

[guru1000]

Proper etiquette: Be considerate and ask her - What's your name?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear St99,
If you smoke roll a weed,if you don't then,check your wallet is still there,then wack your strides on and get the Hvll out.

 

[hithard]

Proper etiquette:

wipe c0ck off on her bedsheets
Ask what she is making for breakfast
Turn her toilet into a toxic no go zone

Before we ever had sex they have very high interest level. Even to the point where they
ask ME out, pay for my drinks, always touching me, etc. Then they seem
to pull away.


(spare me the bad sex explanation, lets just assume for sake of argument its all good in that dept)

Not trying to shoot you down or anything but could it be anything about the sex?

 

[survivorman]

ST,

The answer is staring you right in the face.. Treat the ones you WANT exactly like the ones you DO NOT want!

"Not caring" is the secret - and I don't mean "pretending" not to care - you must well and truly NOT give a flying fook one way or the other.

Sounds crazy? Well, of course -- yeah, it IS crazy!

But that's what (almost always) works.

 

[rick92f]

ST,

The answer is staring you right in the face.. Treat the ones you WANT exactly like the ones you DO NOT want!

"Not caring" is the secret - and I don't mean "pretending" not to care - you must well and truly NOT give a flying fook one way or the other.

Sounds crazy? Well, of course -- yeah, it IS crazy!

But that's what (almost always) works.

That is EXACTLY what you need to do. It's not pretending not to care but REALLY not to care. That concept has yet to fail me.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear st99,
Of course my response was somewhat tongue in cheek,perhaps the best thing to do immediately after the dastardly deed is to have a good clean up with surgical soap....I believe this has so far protected me from STD's,that and condoms....Maybe Collossus could comment?

 

[st_99]

ST,

The answer is staring you right in the face.. Treat the ones you WANT exactly like the ones you DO NOT want!

"Not caring" is the secret - and I don't mean "pretending" not to care - you must well and truly NOT give a flying fook one way or the other.

Sounds crazy? Well, of course -- yeah, it IS crazy!

But that's what (almost always) works.

This seems exactly right. When I truly (without faking) don't care, things
go my way more often than not.

 

[squirrels]

I wouldn't change a damned thing after you have sex.

You say you're "acting interested", "acting aloof"...have you consider just not "acting" at all?

 

[Warrior74]

I reinsert my monocle, adjust my top hat, twirl my mustache, and say "good day madam" while twirling my cane and jaunting down the avenue whistling a catchy yet bawdy tune.

 

[st_99]

I wouldn't change a damned thing after you have sex.

You say you're "acting interested", "acting aloof"...have you consider just not "acting" at all?

you're right, I just need to stop it.

 

[Greasy Pig]

It's probably good etiquette to call her a cab AFTER you've blown all over her face.
My dream is to somehow time my orgasm just as the cab pulls into the driveway.

 

[The Inside Man]

Same thing happened to me recently, and it is frustrating. Are you doing anything when you're hooking up that's indicating you want more than just sex, or want a relationship?

 

[iqqi]

1. Maybe you are coming across as not interested or too aloof. Contrary to popular belief here, sometimes you have to give a little to get a little.

2. Bad sex.

3. Personality issue.

I'd say it is one of the three.