Promise me!

[Induced Drag]

I've been seeing a woman for three and a half months. She appears to be a woman of high quality. I'm continuing to spin other plates because she hasn't brought up the exclusivity talk yet. She a 7.7- 8hb, very cool, funny, intelligent, and sweet. She also took care of me when I had the flu. Without me asking I'll add. It was almost comical the amount of food and medicine she brought me. She always initiates contact and texts me several times a day. I don't reply to all of her texts and when I do it's not immediately.

Here's my situation. She's been in CA for the last 5 days visiting family. As it turns out one of her family members was diagnosed with cancer shortly before she went to visit. Thankfully, it's very treatable. Tonight I receive a text from her asking me to promise to go with her next year when she visits them. This isn't exactly next month. I really like this woman but I'm not sure how to answer her question without upsetting her or lying to her.

Has anyone ever been in a situation similar to mine? If so how did you deal with it? I'd also appreciate any advice anyone may have.

* I'm typing this on my phone so please excuse the mistakes.

 

[TheSlasher]

"We'll see."

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Been in this situation many a time.

Sounds pretty sweet for now; the only problem being is if you meet someone else you like more, which has happened to me as well. She's gonna be heartbroken.

 

[compleks]

Just blow it off.

"Haha, surely your family can't be THAT bad?"

or something like. If she comes back again, then you're on your own

 

[MOTU]

"I hope that works out, I love CA"

 

[Induced Drag]

That's my concern monkey king. How did you handle your situation?

Thanks for the comments. I'm going to deflect her question.

Does anyone else smell a little power play on her part? If I agree to it, she knows she has me. She doesn't seem the type to pull something like this. However, if I've learned anything from my short time here it's that all women are capable of doing these types of things.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

That's my concern monkey king. How did you handle your situation?

Thanks for the comments. I'm going to deflect her question.

Does anyone else smell a little power play on her part? If I agree to it, she knows she has me. She doesn't seem the type to pull something like this. However, if I've learned anything from my short time here it's that all women are capable of doing these types of things.

The times I have realised that a relationship has run its course (for me anyway), I have usually ended it pretty quickly and have just been honest with the chick. Yeah it's uncomfortable in the short term, but for me, more uncomfortable is long-term playing 'happy friends and families' with people I don't really want to be around; I am not very good at hiding boredom/indifference.

When women provide and attend to you the way yours has already (only three months in), it makes me slightly nervous these days. It's going to go one of two ways, both of which are not comfortable-making for the man.:

1) She's priming you to mould you in to a beta butt-suck. You're obviously a decent chap, as you are able to identify all the things she does for you already; she already knows that. That's also exactly the way I used to be, relying on birds to provide a lot for me, then the impending sense of obligation is gently, subtly enforced further down the line: like 'PROMISE ME!'

This is the most dangerous of the two scenarios; it is tantamount to non-verbal emotional blackmail.

Also in this scenario, she can withdraw the provision at anytime leaving you high and dry, just when you've got used to being treated like a king. This is when the tables turn in her favour, because your then infected with oneitis, 'willing to do anything to have her back'; when, by your own standards, she's only a 7-8 anyway.

2) Once you decline the offer of making 'Promises' to her after only knowing her for three months (notice also she's trying to tie you down to plans NEXT YEAR - and highly emotive plans, like going to meet her sick relatives), she becomes even more clingy/provisioning (her own oneitis), to the point that it (she) just becomes annoying because while you're with her, she hardly leaves your side/takes her eyes off you/quits blowing smoke up your ass. Then you find yourself sitting with her and her friends and/or relatives, and while they all talk about your future plans (together), all you can think of is that *9.5 that just started working with you and is giving you serious come to bed eyes across the canteen.

You call though chief. You can give her the benefit of the doubt for a while; in short withholding investment/maintaining (emotional distance) has a two-fold benefit. As well as ensuring you don't get burned, it means she will know her place as well; that's what keeps he mystery alive for you both - and the mystery, despite what many think, is the most exciting part of a relationship with a woman.

Let us know how it goes.

 

[Induced Drag]

Yes these are things I think about. She seems almost a little too into me after such a short time. Does that make sense?

She hasn't shown any signs of being unstable (relative term for women) so far. Although get this, for Mother's Day she bought my Mom a card. She has not met my parents or spoken with them. I thought that was sweet and a little aggressive of her. I considered not giving it to my mom but eventually decided to just for grins. In the card she wished my mom a happy Mother's Day and then said what a wonderful man you've raised, named several redeeming qualities of mine, (didn't mention my d**k though , etc. She didn't go over the top but I thought it was a little unusual. I realize she wrote this card for me knowing I'd learn what she said.

How would you view something like this? I'm curious.

I appreciate your thoughts The Monkey King. Thanks

 

[El Payaso]

My response would be "We'll see what happens." If she eggs on for a response just say "I can't promise but I'll try my best". Leave it at that. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY AT ALL NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS. This is pure bait trap. What kind of person asks to secure pans for almost a year ahead?