Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
Heheh, well either I'm genius or it's a pretty sad testament to the state of understanding modern psychiatry has about intergender dynamics.
Invitation accepted.
Invitation accepted.
cordoncordon said:I've stayed out of this thread and tried not to say anything, but I have to say this. So many of you are acting all high and mighty, telling him what he should and should not do, most of that involves divorce/hiding his money/preparing to leave etc. Hello??? This man has been married to this woman for 17 years. 17 years!!!!! Some of you guys freak out over a problem you are having with your gf of 2 months! And you are giving that kind of advice (divorce) to a guy who has shared every day of his life with this woman for the last 17 years?? And they have kids together? Most of us cannot relate to that. Most of us have no clue as to where this guy is coming from. It's very easy to tell this guy that his wife is fvcking the dude, or he should divorce her, but go be in a marriage for that long and than tell him that.
I'm not even saying his wife isn't cheating. Hell she could be. From what I can read of this, she probably isn't, but ya never really know. And I congratulate the OP for starting to remove his head from the sand and stand up for himself. I know that no wife of mine, or gf for that matter, is going to be hanging out with some guy like this guys wife is. Especially a wife with children. But he let it happen and now he is paying for it. But I really think that until we have definitive proof that this guys wife really did cheat, we should come up with some more constructive ways for this guy to deal with this in SAVING THE MARRIAGE rather than all of the ways he should plan for divorce. He obviously still loves her, still wants to be with her, wants to save his family....lets find ways to make it work, instead of destroying it.
PS: I realize some of you have done that (come up with ways to save the marriage).....thank you.
This means nothing. She's feeling guilty for fuvking the other guy. Arghhhhh............some guys don't get it.heroshima said:By the way, my wife has called and texted me like 10 times today.
Check out this gem of a text:
"I want you to know that I want to heal our relationship. I am interested in you."
Her whole stance toward me has changed and will continue, I'm sure of it.
She sounds like the MAN and you sound like the woman. What the hell does that mean: I am interested in you ?heroshima said:By the way, my wife has called and texted me like 10 times today.
Check out this gem of a text:
"I want you to know that I want to heal our relationship. I am interested in you."
Her whole stance toward me has changed and will continue, I'm sure of it.
This thread is better than TV. Great stuff here.Boilermaker said:She sounds like the MAN and you sound like the woman. What the hell does that mean: I am interested in you ?
"I am interested in you."heroshima said:. I am interested in you."
Her whole stance toward me has changed and will continue, I'm sure of it.
I was going to post something similar to the above. Luckily Jo did it with a whole lot more style then I ever could. This is the pendulum slowly moving back your way.jophil28 said:"I am interested in you."
That smacks of emotional manipulation to me.
A possible 'womanspeek" translation -
" The way you have been behaving lately is confusing and upsetting to me.
I liked things the way they were . I had you signed up as my personal domestic slave, and I had guitar hero as my "entertainment".
So I am going to 'hint' that I have found renewed sexual interest in you in the hope that you will slide back under my control .
I am in a panic now because I fear that my life will need to change back to being a wife and mother. Damn it, I will provide an Oscar winning seduction scene if I have to. What ever it takes."
Just my take.
Or this may come to pass.This marriage is over in less than seven months. I don't care even if he had to hire actresses to play the role of other women interested in him. He has made severe mistakes. She has, and will continue, to have sex with other men. I had sex with a married woman last year, I know exactly what she's doing. She has the cards, and she knows how to use them. She's a smart one. By the way, even if she has sex with him everyday, it still doesn't subside her craving another man's covk.
I agree with that. Sticking your head in the sand and praying for the best is not gonna do it.5string said:But I still say he needs to know what truly has happened so HE can decide if HE wants to save it.
Good point and worth exploring further.Rubirosa said:My point being is that the wife needs the husband to hold down the fort w/ the kids if she wants to live comfortably while indulging her artistic aspirations.
Agree...that was really an odd thing for her to say. Sounds like the marriage has been in trouble for longer than we, or maybe even the OP knows. Must be more going on here behind the scenes as far as disharmony.Jitterbug said:"I am interested in you" sounds like something you'd say to someone you're just dating (e.g lying just so you can get laid or get away with shyt). Not to a life partner of 17 years and a few kids together.
I'm having a difficult time seeing that when you say to a significant other that they are doing X bad and if you don't straighten up NOW or there will be Y consequences then that is a sign of powerlessness?Rollo Tomassi said:Ultimatums are declarations of powerlessness.
Whenever a person is driven to the point of saying or implying, "you'd better or else" they are telling you that you hold power over them. When you aquiesce to an ultimatum, not only do you hand that power to them, you overtly confirm this transfer of power for them and yourself. Unless you are powerless to avoid an ultimatum, always deny them, because you will certainly be powerless otherwise. A relationship built on the foundation of an ultimatum isn't a relationship; it is mutually acknowledged blackmail.[/I]
Yeah, I don't really agree with that either. When my current girlfriend was wanting a relationship with me, she had a few orbiters. I told her I had no interest in having a girlfriend who hung out with male friends on the side. She got rid of them.I'm having a difficult time seeing that when you say to a significant other that they are doing X bad and if you don't straighten up NOW or there will be Y consequences then that is a sign of powerlessness?
Yes you can be friends with someone of the opposite sex if you both don't want to fvck each other.5string said:True^^^ And this is why I do not believe men and women can be just "friends". At some point, either one will evaluate the other as a potential sexual interest. I was in a band for years. We had a pretty hot female singer. There were many times when we were out doing a show, none of the spouses were present, and we were in situations and venues where there was the possibility of becoming intimate. Was I tempted? Yep, sure was.
You can tell the OP suspects something is up and rightfully so. Someone on here once said "lies contain fragments of the truth". He needs to listen to the little guy sitting on his shoulder.