Problems w/ GF beginning

[OldNumb3r7]

Lately, some problems are starting to arise with the gf. She's been very defensive, and I dont think Im asking anything extreme of her.

For example, the night before the 4th she called me twice at 330 and 5 in the morning, drunk, and once from another persons phone. Telling me about a party she went to, and a guy that tried hitting on her, but she said she had a bf. That made me very angry. So I told her I wouldnt be coming up to see her on the 4th (She went home to visit family, about 1 hour away).

The other problem, is that she works at a restraunt as a bartender. We've clashed over this before, but I think Ive been very resonable lately. I dont go up there when she works, if I do its for one drink then I go out with other friends. But a guy that works there always tries hitting on her.

I told her tell him to stop, that its not respectful for her or me especially. She said she has, but I think she hasnt been forceful enought, and may enjoy the attention. She got very angry when, I told her she needed to really end that kind of stuff. She thought it was no big deal because, shes not "attracted to him".

This has all made me angry more than anything, Ive been very faithful, and know where to draw the line when talking to other girls. Is it too much to ask from a gf? I dont think so....

comments welcome, thanks for the vent!

 

[OldNumb3r7]

Its been 8 months though. I think shes cool, but she does stuff and then turns it on me. She says I act like a "d*ckhead". I thought it wasnt asking much to be respectful. I dont call her names, she gets very defensive, and thinks Im insecure. I give her PLENTY of free time, and I enjoy my free time alot.

Im just asking her to tell this kid firmly, and decisively "STOP!". But she thought I was insecure....its not looking good.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

GodsGift: I think you might be jumping to conclusions bro, I know you just ended your relationship and your enjoying the single life, but we don't know enough about this girl whether to tell this guy to next or not.

Bro, I totally understand your concern. I work in the resturant industry and let me tell you right now, there's a WHOLE LOT of flirting and touching going on. Most of it is innocent and nothing to worry about. Your gf is a BARTENDER its her job to flirt with customers and if she flirts with a co-worker I wouldn't be too worried about it because you DO look really insecure. Now if you don't like it so much, there might be something your not telling us. Such as your girl's past, if she's cheated before or if you don't trust her. Now if THAT's the case, then I agree with GodsGift and would tell you to bail ASAP!

Tell us more about your relationship with your gf over the past 8 months, mainly if you trust her or not and if she's given you reason not to trust her.


PIMP

 

[snintel]

Originally posted by OldNumb3r7
Lately, some problems are starting to arise with the gf. She's been very defensive, and I dont think Im asking anything extreme of her.

For example, the night before the 4th she called me twice at 330 and 5 in the morning, drunk, and once from another persons phone. Telling me about a party she went to, and a guy that tried hitting on her, but she said she had a bf. That made me very angry. So I told her I wouldnt be coming up to see her on the 4th (She went home to visit family, about 1 hour away).

The other problem, is that she works at a restraunt as a bartender. We've clashed over this before, but I think Ive been very resonable lately. I dont go up there when she works, if I do its for one drink then I go out with other friends. But a guy that works there always tries hitting on her.

I told her tell him to stop, that its not respectful for her or me especially. She said she has, but I think she hasnt been forceful enought, and may enjoy the attention. She got very angry when, I told her she needed to really end that kind of stuff. She thought it was no big deal because, shes not "attracted to him".

This has all made me angry more than anything, Ive been very faithful, and know where to draw the line when talking to other girls. Is it too much to ask from a gf? I dont think so....

comments welcome, thanks for the vent!

I think you ARE asking too much of her.

If she is an attractive girl, she is going to get hit on. All the time. You can't blame her for this.

She rejected the party guy, so what's the big deal? I would be impressed. If it's the issue of her partying that you dislike, then well, you got with the wrong type of girl.

You need to be a little less insecure about the relationship. If she isn't doing guys, then just be cool with it. Give her some space or it'll be you who gets dumped. Now, if she does cheat on you (getting hit on is not cheaitng on you) then next her.

 

[Climax]

My 2c...

Originally posted by snintel
I think you ARE asking too much of her.

If she is an attractive girl, she is going to get hit on. All the time. You can't blame her for this.

She rejected the party guy, so what's the big deal? I would be impressed. If it's the issue of her partying that you dislike, then well, you got with the wrong type of girl.

You need to be a little less insecure about the relationship. If she isn't doing guys, then just be cool with it. Give her some space or it'll be you who gets dumped. Now, if she does cheat on you (getting hit on is not cheating on you) then next her.

Well said!

And just to add one small thing... 99% of hot women naturally become attention seeking because of the fact that they have been getting attention from other guys their whole lives, and now that they are in a relationship, its a big step to suddenly not flirt or attract attention from other men. But think about it THIS way.. she is with YOU because she WANTS to be with you... she is good looking, which means that she could get many other guys, but yet she chooses to be with YOU! If she likes that guy at work, then she would of done something about it, dumped u and gotten with him? ... but no, she is still with YOU.

You are making her feel trapped/suffocating her with the way u are acting about all of this... let guys give her attention (u cant help it, and neither can she), and if this guys is giving her attention and she is loyal to you (which that she should be, and u should TRUST her enough to believe that she wont cheat on you), then whats the problem? Let that idiot try hit on her, at the end of the day, she's coming to YOU, into YOUR arms, into YOUR bed, making love to YOU, telling YOU that she loves YOU.

Now do yourself a favour, put your guard down, and chill out. If you suspect that she is cheating on you, then either u need to work on your trust in one another in the relationship, or if u cant trust her, then you shouldn’t be in the relationship with someone that u don’t trust to begin with.


hope I helped u open up your eye's...


Laterz...

 

[OldNumb3r7]

Some great responses, thanks to all.

I dont think Im being insecure at all, I dont call her all the time, I dont go spy on her at work, I give her all the breathing room she wants, I dont try to restrict who she goes out with. I do think though, that I can expect a little bit out of her once in awhile.

Maybe because I wouldnt be calling her drunk from another girls phone at 5am I want a little more out of her. I have been cheated on before (different girl), and I see a little bit happening now from what happened then. That just worries me a bit.

The conflicting opinions on here have made me think. I know all about her bartending, and I dont ever get on her about that. What makes me upset is this guy saying stuff to her, or flirting with her, and I know the people who work there would do nothing to help me out.

There was one time when she worked that she said she was leaving, then I got a call that she was hanging out for a bit, then I called her an hour later, and she was still there, with two guys and her, drunk as hell. Then she tells me that one of them tried to mess around with her. So I went up there, told the guy to leave, let the other guy who worked there know I was pissed! and took her drunk ass home. She contends that nothing happened, but I wonder why she wouldnt call me, and why when I went up there they were all sitting together talking like nothing happened.

Little things add up.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Originally posted by OldNumb3r7
Some great responses, thanks to all.

I dont think Im being insecure at all, I dont call her all the time, I dont go spy on her at work, I give her all the breathing room she wants, I dont try to restrict who she goes out with. I do think though, that I can expect a little bit out of her once in awhile.

Maybe because I wouldnt be calling her drunk from another girls phone at 5am I want a little more out of her. I have been cheated on before (different girl), and I see a little bit happening now from what happened then. That just worries me a bit.

The conflicting opinions on here have made me think. I know all about her bartending, and I dont ever get on her about that. What makes me upset is this guy saying stuff to her, or flirting with her, and I know the people who work there would do nothing to help me out.

There was one time when she worked that she said she was leaving, then I got a call that she was hanging out for a bit, then I called her an hour later, and she was still there, with two guys and her, drunk as hell. Then she tells me that one of them tried to mess around with her. So I went up there, told the guy to leave, let the other guy who worked there know I was pissed! and took her drunk ass home. She contends that nothing happened, but I wonder why she wouldnt call me, and why when I went up there they were all sitting together talking like nothing happened.

Little things add up.

Ok just because you don't call her all the time, give her free time and don't hang out at her work all the time, doesn't mean you aren't acting insecure by demanding she not flirt with this co-worker. You cannot try to change someone!!! If you do, you'll end up getting burned, BAD!!!

Your girl sounds pretty immature in terms of a relationship bro. I'd be pissed off too if my girl called me from another dood's phone drunk as hell!! Not to mention her getting plastered with these guys all the time, trust your gut on whether you feel something happened or not. Your not in control of this situation bro and I'm starting to think it will only get worse from here. Your girl obiviously likes you but she wants to be wild still. This is the intersection of your relationship, time to make a choice, keep driving or stop.



PIMP