"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Problems talking in front of big groups

solo1

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Generally when i talk to people individually or even in groups, or am part of a discussion in class critiques, im cool and calm.

then when it comes down for me to present my work in front of the class, i lose my cool. I know i do cause my voice tone changes, and it isnt calm. And i cant kid around like i usually do when i lose my cool. A bit of anxiety builds up and i start to sweat also.

I dont understand how i can be find generally but when presenting my work (myself), it's the opposite. Anyone with tips?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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sifer

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Originally posted by solo1
Generally when i talk to people individually or even in groups, or am part of a discussion in class critiques, im cool and calm.

then when it comes down for me to present my work in front of the class, i lose my cool. I know i do cause my voice tone changes, and it isnt calm. And i cant kid around like i usually do when i lose my cool. A bit of anxiety builds up and i start to sweat also.

I dont understand how i can be find generally but when presenting my work (myself), it's the opposite. Anyone with tips?
The way I see it, is this, when you are with a group of people criticizing, you're not afraid to rip the subject apart.

When you go up, you're afraid of getting ripped.

This is the reason why you should go up often, unless you're hard of hearing or can't see that well, in which case rendering you in much greater difficulty communicating with the class, you should be going up to conquer that fear.

There is really no tip or advice, except, just do it. Practice makes perfect, keep going up, adapt to the changes. Go with the flow, etcetc.
 

h2o

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welcome to my world
what sifer said, and also, join clubs/activities that will force you to speak in front of groups; better yet, in front of large crowds.
 

diablo

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I'm guessing from your age that you're in college. I'd recommend taking a few Communications classes (i.e. Speech). They'll cover everything from Interpersonal relationships to Public Speaking. It's commonly known that Americans fear public speaking more than death - as Seinfeld put it, "They'd rather be the one in the casket than the guy giving the eulogy".

I got nervous when I first started speaking in front of large groups of people - but realized quickly (especially in a classroom setting) that it was counterproductive. Everybody in there (for the most part) has a fear of speaking. Everybody knows how you feel. Everybody can sympathize. Nobody's going to say "Oh man, look at how he stumbled over that sentence."... or "Ha! He forgot line 2 of paragraph 3!". Just take things slow, move your eyes around the classroom and make eye contact with several of the attractive girls during the funnier parts of whatever it is you're talking about, and get that A.

There are tons of books and classes you can take (some at your college) to develop your speaking habits... and that's what it takes; development. You can't just read a book and expect to not be nervous anymore - you have to keep doing it until you're not nervous. The book might tell you tips and ideas, but the only thing that will truly help is practice practice practice.

By the way, check out this link:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/search...d=267974&sortby=lastpost&sortorder=descending
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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SELF-MASTERY

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Guys I jest gave a presentation a few hours ago. I was unprepared, nervous, and BS'ted my way into a halfway decent presentation. I notice that if I move around alot when I speak some of the nervousness goes a way, my voice was a little shaky, but my projection is always good. My goal is to do things that make me uncomfortable often. We have ppl at school that would drop a class because of a required presentation. One thing I've noticed, having a connection to the material makes it easy.

All things in time.
 
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