"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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problems saying "hi"

CoolRunning

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I'm trying to make EC and say "hi" to 50 women, as part of the boot camp. I am having trouble finding them though? Here's what I tried tonight.

First, Starbucks. There were some women in there, but they were all either reading or with friends or husbands. Should I have interrupted them to say "hi"?

Second, the mall. Almost every woman there my age was with kids, or a husband or boyfriend. Plus everyone else is walking so fast down the mall corridor that when I said hi to two people, they didn't respond or maybe even hear me. I tried to go into some stores, but the womens and mens sections are always in different places it seems? I didn't see any women in the men's sections.

Third, the book store. No women in here my age, they were all quite a bit older or younger.

I think this is going to be a problem for me, I was hoping to go out to the mall and find a lot of women to say hi to, and build up courage to make EC with etc. But there were so few that weren't with kids or men. I mean there were clerks and things, but I don't have a problem approaching them (making small talk is another problem entirely, but I want to work on my approach).

Arrrrgh, any advice on what to do, or where to go? Am I just being a *****, should I just have said hi to women with kids or given a group of 3 a "hey ladies"? But what's the point if everyone's hauling ass down a mall corridor anyway. I mean that won't help with the next steps of having a conversation.

Confused.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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WestCoaster

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Don't interrupt a woman, please, no, don't -- especially with boyfriends or husbands around. The boot camp is a GUIDELINE, you will not flunk if you don't get your numbers.

The essence of being a DJ is things should come naturally, from saying 'hi' to asking a woman out, to develop a relationship.

I applaud you for doing boot camp, it's a great tool, but don't worry about the numbers. Don't do things unforced to make number totals. It's better to have one conversation with a gal than 20 "hellos" in my opinion.

Keep plugging away, but remember to relax, act natural, and let it flow!

Major props on doing the boot camp!
 

CoolRunning

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It's not about the numbers I really just wanted to say 5 hello's, but I barely had a chance for 1 or 2. Is that normal in 2 hours at the mall or am I doing something wrong?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Jamo

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my suggestion

I read this somewhere and Im now doing it. It REALLY works. The idea is to get a group of one or two guys, and make a bet on who can get the most rejections in a night. Put money in a bowl and go to a nightclub, and get rejected by the hottest girls you can possibly find (The guy with the most rejections in a night wins the money of course). Have your wingmen point out a target for you, and you do the same in return. Since it is a game your ego is safe, and you learn that rejection is not at all that bad. IMHO that is the hardest part of being a player. I go to the 10/10s and say any damn thing that comes to my mind, and in some cases they like it! :woo:

Id say do this for a month or two. The idea is to get rejected as much as possible until it does not even cause the slightest internal botheration. Also don't overdo it by using silly voices or wearing stupid things - don't bet too much money - it should only be a minor incentive.
 

SamePendo

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Don't interrumpt them.
How old are you? Unless the chicks are like 10-13... if they are 20yearolds (you never know at those ages..) I dont see any problem with you saying hi.

Just try to be in various social settings, like even the street, elevator, wherever, just do the hi thing.

Now, there's a difference between interrupting them when they are actually doing something, than "interrupting them" to take them out of their boredom. I hope I explained myself there.
 
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