problem with younger brother

[:-)]

He clearly has a drinking problem. When we go out he will have finished his pint within minutes whilst I've barely started mine. He'll then get another round in and I feel i have to play catch up.

Problem is, he can't handle his drink. He gets angry and in the past an argument would normally ensue. At its worst we ended up fighting at our parents house. That was 4 years ago.

I've tried telling him that I don't like the drinking and that it just screws things up for me. It affects my fitness regime and general wellbeing but he gets offended because he's lost a drinking partner.

Last night we went out for my birthday and a friendly drinking session turned nasty when he threatened to knock me out. I told him to go ahead but of course he didn't. I then left. He texted later that evening saying 'don't know what the hell happened there but happy bday'. I replied 'you threatned to knock me out is what happened. dont contact me again' he then replied 'ok, goodbye you fvcking weirdo. good luck on your own.'

ive had enough of him and the rest of my family to be honest.i feel they bring me down. any advice from members who've experienced troublesome siblings?

 

[Epimanes]

Shyt dude.. That sucks.

However, there is not much you can do but to protect yourself from his abuse by NC. You did the right thing.

The nasty things he says has nothing to do with you so don't take it personally, its just a reflection of himself.

If you speak to him again, tell him your worried about his health and his drinking and that your going to have to not see him anymore until he gets some help. Your not married to him so there is really nothing you can do but tell him how you feel. Its up to him to WANT to fix things.. Eventually he will see that the problem is him if everyone that cares for him takes a stand.

Epi

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Right, he's got to WANT to change.

This is what I would say:

"Brother, I love ya and I want to see you. But I'm not going to hang out with you while you're drinking."

And stand your ground. If he can't not drink then it's on him. He may get angry or defensive, but eventually with time, hopefully he'll figure it out.

 

[Blistex]

ive had enough of him and the rest of my family to be honest.i feel they bring me down.

I have always been a strong advocate for removing negativity out of one's life. From your post, it seems like you do not live with your brother and/or your parents. Thus, my suggestion would be to cut them out of your life since as you put it, "they bring me down" and you have "had enough".

Family is family but there comes a certain point where one must realize and accept that a family that puts you down and brings negativity into your life is not worth it.

Like with all relationships, if it is not positive and bringing happiness into your life, it is time to cut the ropes loose.

 

[:-)]

I have always been a strong advocate for removing negativity out of one's life. From your post, it seems like you do not live with your brother and/or your parents. Thus, my suggestion would be to cut them out of your life since as you put it, "they bring me down" and you have "had enough".

Family is family but there comes a certain point where one must realize and accept that a family that puts you down and brings negativity into your life is not worth it.

Like with all relationships, if it is not positive and bringing happiness into your life, it is time to cut the ropes loose.

Yup. Tried cutting them off before but that didn't work as mother guilt trips me about it. So I just lessened my visits and limited calls. She still guilt trips me when I don't call or if I haven't visited in over two weeks. There is no point telling them why I am cutting them off. They only accuse me of being a trouble-maker or worse crazy. They are absolutely not interested in why I would want to cut myself off from them. That question doesn't even occur to them. When I told my brother recently after a drinking session that I needed his help to not encourage me to drink, rather than being concerned about my health he said he was offended!! This is the kind of selfishness I have to deal with.

@Epi and Peaks - yes. If he does get back in contact I will tell him only when he is sober will I consider meeting up again.