Problem with female friend

[backbreaker]

There is a girl that I am honestly friends with; I used to be interested in her because she is hot, however, that's pretty much all she brings to the table execpt we get along. Over time I realized that this girl isn't someone I would want to date, too much baggage and not enough rewards in the relationship


anyway, She has a BF and 3 years ago, her BF asked her to stop seing me, and she did for 2 years. We just started talking again this march when she wrote me a letter out of the blue saying she know she made a mistake. People make mistkaes, people grow up, so I gave her another chance.

To get to the point, I think she is doing the same thing again. I figured out a while ago that she combines me with her current BF to get the perfect mate; someone who listens and pounds her in bed. When things are going great with them, I hardely hear from her. When things are going bad or not soo good, I am the first person she calls.

I haven't heard from her in 1 week, and only 1 time in the last 3 weeks. She called me last thursday and she told me she just got over the flu, but then I caught her in a lie when she mentioned that she had went out the previous 2 nights later in the convo. I don't understand what's the point in lieing? why not just tell me you were spending more time with your BF and hadn't had much time to call?

I decided last night that enough was enough and decided that I don't want anything to do with her any longer; you can't be a friend when it's convenient to you. i also don't appricate being lied to.

make no mistake; I don't have any feelings (at least romantically, but if the opprotunity prsented itself and the time was right, I would more than likely have sex). I am seeing someone just as good looking, and she actually has her head on straight.

i guess I just wanted to know what you guys think about the situtation.

 

[flexion_]

I'm not sure what you want us to say. You have identified that she is an attention ***** who is using you for an emotional tampon.

You aren't getting or ever will get any sex from her - so why do you even bother with her?

 

[B9]

have been in that pattern before only it was two of my best friends who were together. When they broke up she latched on to me like a leech.

then they went back together and wham, hardly ever heard from her.

Sorted it out and we are good friends, but there is a clear priority now that she is my friend's girlfriend, ahead of being my friend.

 

[urbanwhite]

I think you need to stay away from women for a while. Actually, a long while. You're somehow getting in relationships that are very dangerous and using sex to fill a void in your life. Find a hobby that makes you feel good rather than some woman who's already married or has a boyfriend. All this drama in your life is going to backfire on you when you least expect it. Work on your self-esteem and get tested.

 

[jiro77]

No Offense but...

Is this common in Arkansas to go for other guys girls? Dude, find some single women, your life will be much more easier/enjoyable. With all this drama backbreaker, you might get your back broke.

 

[Desdinova]

All I can really say is friends come and go. I let go of a female friend because she never phoned me. We got along really well, but if she doesn't want to take any initiative and call, I can't be bothered. If she does call one day, I will be more than happy to talk to her.

If she wants to let her bf be insecure and tell her who she can and can't talk to, that's her issue to deal with. Once she discovers he's an insecure bastard, she'll probably call you.

Until and unless that happens, don't sweat it. You'll meet thousands of people in your life, but only a few will keep you around for a long lasting mutual friendship.

 

[backbreaker]

Re: No Offense but...

Originally posted by jiro77
Is this common in Arkansas to go for other guys girls? Dude, find some single women, your life will be much more easier/enjoyable. With all this drama backbreaker, you might get your back broke.

dude, I never said I wanted to date her. I made it damn clear. I have a girlfriend, I don't have any romantic interest in this chick. She really is a friend. the fact that is a girl doesn't mean I secreatly want to sweep her off of her feet.

 

[squirrels]

Re: Re: No Offense but...

Originally posted by backbreaker
dude, I never said I wanted to date her. I made it damn clear. I have a girlfriend, I don't have any romantic interest in this chick. She really is a friend. the fact that is a girl doesn't mean I secreatly want to sweep her off of her feet.

It sounds like you've already made your decision that 1) you don't want to be with her romantically and 2) you've had enough of her platonically. What we "think about the situation" is irrelevant.

Carry on.

 

[cave dweller]

buddy

Hey.

Keep your steady girlfriend, but, be just a 'friend' to this one.

If you play it right she will call you once in awhile and become your 'fvck buddy'.

my 2 cents

cave dweller

 

[backbreaker]

Re: Re: Re: No Offense but...

Originally posted by squirrels
It sounds like you've already made your decision that 1) you don't want to be with her romantically and 2) you've had enough of her platonically. What we "think about the situation" is irrelevant.

Carry on.

good point.


Really it was more of a rant then asking for advice.

really you hit the nail on the head. She is good looking but damn, my Girlfriend is good looking, AND SMARTER, older, better in bed, and more independant. she was fun to talk to at times, but just carries around too much baggage for me.