problem i am sure is common

[yoimjamie]

Hi all

I'm sure this is a common problem. I have no difficulty attracting girls i am not majorly interested in, or ones who are rather quiet to begin with. But as soon as i start to realise what an exceptional specimen one is, i get stupid. I do dumb ****, and sometimes **** it all up. I care too much and let it get to me basically.

So i make myself believe that i don't care, and in the end it works too well and i just don't any more. When the care goes, so does the attraction.

How can this be balanced? Anyone who used to have this problem and found an easy solution?

 

[Idkmyname]

Chicks aren't exceptional they're just dudes with boobs...and sometimes va jay jays.

 

[WC2]

Hi all

I'm sure this is a common problem. I have no difficulty attracting girls i am not majorly interested in, or ones who are rather quiet to begin with. But as soon as i start to realise what an exceptional specimen one is, i get stupid. I do dumb ****, and sometimes **** it all up. I care too much and let it get to me basically.

So i make myself believe that i don't care, and in the end it works too well and i just don't any more. When the care goes, so does the attraction.

How can this be balanced? Anyone who used to have this problem and found an easy solution?

I wouldn't really call this a problem-- it's you growing.

Guys who have little to no experience with women still buy-in to that Hollywood I love you, you love me BS. This is why you see these men getting their hearts crushed by women they've been fantasizing about for years, to no avail.

You're growing because you finally realize that this attraction is no more than infatuation that's built up in your head. It's FAKE.

Real attraction comes when you've spent time with a woman and you become attracted to not only her traits, but how she treats you.

It's not a one sided game-- the way she treats you is just as important as all her great attributes she may have. Guys who don't know this see all the positives of a woman and ignore the fact that these women have not done a damn thing for them.

So it's not that you don't care about these women; it's that you understand that these women need to earn their value; They need to show they're worth something, before we get "head over heels" on them.

Lots and I mean LOTS of women are not relationship material. That's why having an attitude such as this allows guys like us to filter through the duds and find a decent one every once in awhile. We don't date slvts cause we know them from a mile away; We don't date women who are b!tches cause we don't need that; We don't date women who are untrustworthy.. well because they are untrustworthy. You get the jist.

This is not a problem, but a new insight that you should embrace. Men should not put women on pedestals before they've even gotten to know them. By taking a neutral stance, you've succeeded in not only protecting yourself, but bettering your chances with all women.