ZeeOwl
Senior Don Juan
I'd like to apologize in advance for this long post, but I think all of it is relevant.
I "met" this girl on a personals site about 6 weeks ago. For the record, we have a fair age difference (She's 23, I'm 40). Ya, I know, hit me with the stereotypical mid-life crisis bat! lol Anyway's, she's a university student working on a master's, so I figure she's intelligent and at least reasonably mature. We eMailed about twice, then chatted a bit on MSN. I practiced my new C&F skills on her at that time, including some sexual innuendo around the theme of doing dishes. She loved it (she told me I was funny). A few days later, she eMails me her phone number (I never asked for it), asking me to call her. I waited 3 days, then called. We talked about 15 minutes, and I set up a coffee date for Sunday night. She was going to Quebec City with friends on Saturday, and was due back Sunday afternoon. So I told her to call me when she got home. I never got the call. At 7PM (our date was for 8PM), I called her, got her answering machine, so I left her a message asking her to call back and tell me what's up. She called back Monday evening to tell me that her friends had only gotten back at 11PM. So I tell her that I understand, and that the only other time I had available that week was tonight. She already had something, so we set it up for Tuesday of the following week, my next free slot (which was the truth, isn't life just peachy sometimes).
So we meet at the coffee shop. Conversation was mostly smooth and interesting. Then we went strolling around town aimlessly, talking, with me teasing her lightly (I'm just starting to get comfortable with doing C&F live). She was actually helping me out with the teasing, poking fun at herself. Did a bit of subtle kino on her, which she seemed rather neutral to. My thinking after the date was that she liked me, but probably not "in that way". I was likely headed for The Friendzone. I decided to recover the situation as best I could, starting by waiting at least 3 days to call afterwards. Finally, I was pretty busy that week, and planned to call her Sunday (5 days later). Saturday afternoon, she called me. And as fate would have it, I just happened to be at an amusement park in Montreal (isn't life just peachy sometimes). So I told her that'd I'd call back the next morning (of course telling her where I was), that I was going biking Sunday afternoon, and that she was welcome to come along. She said that she didn't have a bike, but would try and borrow one. So I told her that I could loan her one, if she was real nice to me.
Waited until 11AM to call. When I did, she told me that she'd forgotten that she already had plans with a friend, and kindof apologized nervously. There was a free rock concert that evening near where I live, so I call her back a bit later (probably shouldn't have done that), telling her that I'm going, looks like fun, and invite her along. She say's great. So I tell her I'll call back just before I leave. When I call back, she tells me that her friend had forgotten about their plans too, never showed up, and that she hasn't had supper yet. She's feeling lazy, and not like going out anymore. No apology, just a statement that her behavior sucks, which I agreed to in a semi-serious tone. So I tell her (I was feeling irritated at the time, and it probably showed a bit in my voice) that she knows how to reach me, and if she feels like doing stuff, call, and if I'm free, we'll do something.
The next morning, I sent her this eMail. It's translated from French, so sorry if the sentence structure seems a little weird. So the bit about the lamp-posts was because she had a few close calls with some while we were walking around on our date, because she was looking at me instead of where she was going. She's the absent-minded, easily distracted type (so am I lol). I jumped on the opportunity to bust on her at the time of course.
Hi F.
I just wanted to clear a few things up about what happened yesterday.
Firstly, and probably most importantly, I'm not mad at you. I'm a calm man, with a head on his shoulders, and it takes much more than that to make me lose it.
Secondly, I'm quite aware that I barely know you. My goal with you, for the moment, is to get to know you better. I want to know what kind of woman you are: your qualities, faults and interests. It's the only way I can figure out whether you'd make a good friend or not.
So far, we've set up dates to see each other four times. We saw each other once, and the three other times, you cancelled at the last minute. The first time, you got back later than planned from Quebec City. Unexpected things happen, to everybody, me included, I understand that. So a cancellation on occasion, when there's a good reason, I can deal with. But this is 3 times out of 4. It's not "on occasion", it's 75% of the time. That's a pretty rotten average.
The only conclusion I can come to is that you have issues with reliability. OK, so I found one of your faults. Those too, everyone has, including me. There's your attraction for lamp-posts too, but that doesn't bother me, as long as I don't have to drive you to the hospital. But one thing I also have to consider is that my time is limited and precious. We only have one life to live, and I don't waste it doing just anything, or sharing it with just anybody. I hope it's the same for you. Otherwise, I don't see what point there would be to have you as a friend...
Conclusion: I'm still interested in getting to know you better. But as far as plans made in advance, for now, I'm not going to make any with you. You're on probation. You have my number. Just call me when you want to see me, and if I'm free at the time, we'll go do something fun together.
Apart from that, I hope you have a nice day,
D.
P.S. Too bad you missed the concert last night. It was really good. There's great talent in Quebec.
That afternoon, she sent this back:
Hmmm,
_
I think that what you just wrote to me gives me a rather bizarre feeling. I had no intention of being unreliable, quite the contrary, I have the same values as you about this, every moment of my life, I live 100%, and especially not with just anybody as you say. Additionally, I very much enjoyed the evening spent with you last Tuesday.
On the other hand, I don't think that I have a 75% unreliabilty average... Since the first time, it was out of my control, I don't have a car... I can't impose my schedule on others who give me a ride... Even if they knew that I had to be back earlier... And yesterday, if I had had my own bike, I would have gladly gone with you, I really would have enjoyed it... but I should have told you that I was embarassed to borrow a bike from you... sorry! I'll try to be clearer in my responses From my side, I've learned from you that you seem sensitive and a bit touchy about dates, so in the future I'll be more careful I respect my engagements.
_
Hmmm, I'm not comfortable being in a probation period with you, as you say... Especially since I'm not sure what you mean by that. So, if you prefer, so that I don't disappoint you again... which is far from my intention by the way... and that I have a reputation for reliability with my friends... strangely... well, I don't really know what to tell you. I would rather, if you prefer, that we talk live to avoid any confusion.
talk to you soon, take care
F.
I "met" this girl on a personals site about 6 weeks ago. For the record, we have a fair age difference (She's 23, I'm 40). Ya, I know, hit me with the stereotypical mid-life crisis bat! lol Anyway's, she's a university student working on a master's, so I figure she's intelligent and at least reasonably mature. We eMailed about twice, then chatted a bit on MSN. I practiced my new C&F skills on her at that time, including some sexual innuendo around the theme of doing dishes. She loved it (she told me I was funny). A few days later, she eMails me her phone number (I never asked for it), asking me to call her. I waited 3 days, then called. We talked about 15 minutes, and I set up a coffee date for Sunday night. She was going to Quebec City with friends on Saturday, and was due back Sunday afternoon. So I told her to call me when she got home. I never got the call. At 7PM (our date was for 8PM), I called her, got her answering machine, so I left her a message asking her to call back and tell me what's up. She called back Monday evening to tell me that her friends had only gotten back at 11PM. So I tell her that I understand, and that the only other time I had available that week was tonight. She already had something, so we set it up for Tuesday of the following week, my next free slot (which was the truth, isn't life just peachy sometimes).
So we meet at the coffee shop. Conversation was mostly smooth and interesting. Then we went strolling around town aimlessly, talking, with me teasing her lightly (I'm just starting to get comfortable with doing C&F live). She was actually helping me out with the teasing, poking fun at herself. Did a bit of subtle kino on her, which she seemed rather neutral to. My thinking after the date was that she liked me, but probably not "in that way". I was likely headed for The Friendzone. I decided to recover the situation as best I could, starting by waiting at least 3 days to call afterwards. Finally, I was pretty busy that week, and planned to call her Sunday (5 days later). Saturday afternoon, she called me. And as fate would have it, I just happened to be at an amusement park in Montreal (isn't life just peachy sometimes). So I told her that'd I'd call back the next morning (of course telling her where I was), that I was going biking Sunday afternoon, and that she was welcome to come along. She said that she didn't have a bike, but would try and borrow one. So I told her that I could loan her one, if she was real nice to me.
Waited until 11AM to call. When I did, she told me that she'd forgotten that she already had plans with a friend, and kindof apologized nervously. There was a free rock concert that evening near where I live, so I call her back a bit later (probably shouldn't have done that), telling her that I'm going, looks like fun, and invite her along. She say's great. So I tell her I'll call back just before I leave. When I call back, she tells me that her friend had forgotten about their plans too, never showed up, and that she hasn't had supper yet. She's feeling lazy, and not like going out anymore. No apology, just a statement that her behavior sucks, which I agreed to in a semi-serious tone. So I tell her (I was feeling irritated at the time, and it probably showed a bit in my voice) that she knows how to reach me, and if she feels like doing stuff, call, and if I'm free, we'll do something.The next morning, I sent her this eMail. It's translated from French, so sorry if the sentence structure seems a little weird. So the bit about the lamp-posts was because she had a few close calls with some while we were walking around on our date, because she was looking at me instead of where she was going. She's the absent-minded, easily distracted type (so am I lol). I jumped on the opportunity to bust on her at the time of course.
Hi F.
I just wanted to clear a few things up about what happened yesterday.
Firstly, and probably most importantly, I'm not mad at you. I'm a calm man, with a head on his shoulders, and it takes much more than that to make me lose it.
Secondly, I'm quite aware that I barely know you. My goal with you, for the moment, is to get to know you better. I want to know what kind of woman you are: your qualities, faults and interests. It's the only way I can figure out whether you'd make a good friend or not.
So far, we've set up dates to see each other four times. We saw each other once, and the three other times, you cancelled at the last minute. The first time, you got back later than planned from Quebec City. Unexpected things happen, to everybody, me included, I understand that. So a cancellation on occasion, when there's a good reason, I can deal with. But this is 3 times out of 4. It's not "on occasion", it's 75% of the time. That's a pretty rotten average.
The only conclusion I can come to is that you have issues with reliability. OK, so I found one of your faults. Those too, everyone has, including me. There's your attraction for lamp-posts too, but that doesn't bother me, as long as I don't have to drive you to the hospital. But one thing I also have to consider is that my time is limited and precious. We only have one life to live, and I don't waste it doing just anything, or sharing it with just anybody. I hope it's the same for you. Otherwise, I don't see what point there would be to have you as a friend...
Conclusion: I'm still interested in getting to know you better. But as far as plans made in advance, for now, I'm not going to make any with you. You're on probation. You have my number. Just call me when you want to see me, and if I'm free at the time, we'll go do something fun together.
Apart from that, I hope you have a nice day,
D.
P.S. Too bad you missed the concert last night. It was really good. There's great talent in Quebec.
That afternoon, she sent this back:
Hmmm,
_
I think that what you just wrote to me gives me a rather bizarre feeling. I had no intention of being unreliable, quite the contrary, I have the same values as you about this, every moment of my life, I live 100%, and especially not with just anybody as you say. Additionally, I very much enjoyed the evening spent with you last Tuesday.
On the other hand, I don't think that I have a 75% unreliabilty average... Since the first time, it was out of my control, I don't have a car... I can't impose my schedule on others who give me a ride... Even if they knew that I had to be back earlier...
And yesterday, if I had had my own bike, I would have gladly gone with you, I really would have enjoyed it... but I should have told you that I was embarassed to borrow a bike from you... sorry! I'll try to be clearer in my responses From my side, I've learned from you that you seem sensitive and a bit touchy about dates, so in the future I'll be more careful I respect my engagements._
Hmmm, I'm not comfortable being in a probation period with you, as you say... Especially since I'm not sure what you mean by that. So, if you prefer, so that I don't disappoint you again... which is far from my intention by the way... and that I have a reputation for reliability with my friends... strangely... well, I don't really know what to tell you. I would rather, if you prefer, that we talk live to avoid any confusion.
talk to you soon, take care
F.
