Probably you don´t have any "problem" with girls

[JdelaSilviera]

I can speak for myself, and I think many of you will relate to this. You don´t have any problems with girls per se... you just don´t know enough of them. If you hang around geeks in highschool, and then go to a college course where 90% of the students are males, you are completely screwed.

Then you start cold approaching, which is the quickest way of meeting new women, I can tell you that even if you were a greek god ( I have a couple of friends like that), cold approachers are seen with great suspicion by many people, and you´re rate of success will be very low. Then you get discouraged, when the problem isn´t even with you (looks or personality wise).

There are lots of great women out there, so why are many guys on the forum so bitter? The answer is simple, lots of guys here go alone to clubs and use online dating, which shows their narrow social circle. ANY woman, and remember that women are highly social, who needs to use online dating, or that goes to the club hunting men, will be very low quality in most of aspects, so if you go for one of these, prepare yourself for a big disappointment. High quality girls, will be in the clubs to have fun with their friends, and to meet new people THROUGH their friends... not some loner with no friends. I don´t mean to be harsh, I also done that, but understand that your "problem" with women is just a symptom of having very few friends, so work on that.

 

[corrector]

You know what. I do not think anyone on here, including myself, really has a problem with girls as you say. It's just a matter, as you said, of gender ratios. I believe if one were to go to another country, say, like the Ukraine or Russia (i.e. of if you are white to Asian country) that all your * problems * will be instantly solved just based on the gender ratio and culture within these countries!

What you are saying is that unless you are a charasmatic dude that's well connected then you are fvcked. That becomes a catch-22 because that's really not easy for allot of people to come by. What type of friends do you propose people make? Other guys? Find pivots?

How come people like Espi seem to be successful doing this stuff by themselves?

 

[FairShake]

I don´t mean to be harsh, I also done that, but understand that your "problem" with women is just a symptom of having very few friends, so work on that.

If you don't have many or any friends who you can go out with and introduce you to women in your 20s or 30s I'm not sure there is any amount of work that can be done. You are likely extremely socially awkward and, FAR more importantly, a d!ck that nobody wants to be around. I personally think it's too late at that point.

I highly recommend that anyone in this predicament stick to cold approaching. Your interactions are much shorter and you don't have the time to alienate anyone which you almost certainly will.

 

[Jair213]

i think i just found one of my main problems. While I do have friends I dont hang out with them or even try making new friends. Worse thing is that I dont even try going out. I am buying a car this month so that might change things a bit because here int he city I live the bus transportation sucks and its like you do need a car here to move around easily.

Now that I'll have a car though. I'll be going out more, and inviting people out.

 

[Stagger Lee]

I agree the highest quality girls are in social circles. Whether you really have a problem with girls or instead a friend and social circle problem, it really makes little difference. The fundamental reasons are the same-your looks and personality. Cold approach has a low success rate with women but often so does hanging around with friends or in a social circle.

Even if you get into a social circle with girls, you're still going to be judged and by the whole group. The same old stuff is going to happen where some of the guys get all the women and the others guys don't.

I think if you can get into a good social circle and do well then you should be able to do decently with the cold approach too.

 

[dosquito]

Exactly.

I have a friend who has done modelling before, has had many girlfriends and non exclusive relationships.

Last night we were out. You know what he said?

"Damnit. WE gotta leave this place. there's too many hot girls here and I'm in a relationship. If I weren't, I would be with one of these girls by now. I would go up and say

'What's up?' and get rejected

then say


'What's up?' and get rejected


then say


'What's up?' and get rejected


then say


'What's up?' and get rejected


then say


'What's up?' and get a reply, "What's up?"

Then it would be on! That's how you do it, man!"

Yep. Cold approaches are more about persistence than anything. The girl not only has to be "available" but interested in you.

Meanwhile, chilling with him later that night, his friend mentioned that one of their mutual girl friends was gonna hook him up with a girl she knew.

That's why it really is all about social circle + persistence (if you're doing cold approaches)

 

[Poonani Maker]

I agree, but who wants to be all that "socialized" with Americans?

 

[VladPatton]

I agree with you 110%!

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Social circle game is either feast or famine. If you get rejected by 1 woman in the circle you will typically get rejected by all her friends as well because women want a guy who's desired by other women.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I have to disagree about most sosuavers not being bad with women. The anger and bitterness you notice is like pvssy repellant in real life. I think if most guys here were stranded on an island with one beautiful woman, they would still fvck up that relationship.

I still don't think anyone is hopeless. But it's a lot more productive to just man up and admit you suck with girls. That's how you get better, by owning your mistakes and failures. I know that there is a lot that is wrong with the world, but blaming the world's problems for your problems is not going to get you anywhere.

 

[devilkingx2]

they don't have to be in your circle per say, you just need to know them or know someone who knows them(there are a lot of people I know who aren't in my circle)

to be fair, 16 months ago(roughly...somewhere between late march to early may 2012 or so was the beginning, mid june or so was when I called it quits) I was attempting to pick up a girl who wasn't friends with me or any of my friends, and I almost succeeded

she went to school with me though, as it turns out I just cold approached her without even knowing what cold approaching was.

Social circle game is either feast or famine. If you get rejected by 1 woman in the circle you will typically get rejected by all her friends as well because women want a guy who's desired by other women.

and even if you succeed, better hope you succeeded with the hottest girl, because I doubt any girl with decent morals would mess around with one of her friends' exes

although if low-moral sluts are your thing, you could probably bang her WHILE in the relationship with her friend.

 

[AriMamba]

Agree

i agree with Bible because i wasnt bad with women.... i was TURRIBLE.... a hot girl asked me to give her my address and you know what i said.... well lets just say she did not come home and i am still a virgin but is all good i know i am bad but im slwly working on it.

 

[Desdinova]

lots of guys here go alone to clubs and use online dating, which shows their narrow social circle.

The best way I've found to widen your social circle is to find a place that has a regular crowd. Get to know the regular crowd and make some friends. How do you approach them? The same way you learned how to approach sets of women, except you're there to make friends instead of getting laid.

High quality girls, will be in the clubs

I beg to differ. High quality women are living their lives rather than drinking in bars and clubs. You can occasionally find these women when a friend or co-worker drags them out for a night of fun which is usually something like a birthday, a bachellorette party, or to celebrate some event like a new job or graduation.

The current woman I'm dating was such a case. Her and a friend showed up for "one drink". I didn't even know they were in the place, but one of my friends (who's a regular in the bar) found them. She fetched me from whatever I was doing and introduced me to these two girls, and I instantly hit it off with them. Her friend couldn't help but say "We just came in for one drink, and she meets somebody!" As for the quality of this girl, I haven't seen any red flags as of yet.

 

[JoeMarron]

If you don't have many or any friends who you can go out with and introduce you to women in your 20s or 30s I'm not sure there is any amount of work that can be done. You are likely extremely socially awkward and, FAR more importantly, a d!ck that nobody wants to be around. I personally think it's too late at that point.

I highly recommend that anyone in this predicament stick to cold approaching. Your interactions are much shorter and you don't have the time to alienate anyone which you almost certainly will.

This is bullsh!t. If one is that awkward then he should get that fixed immediately. Cold approaching won't help because at the end of the day he's still gonna be the same awkward dude who no one wants to associate with. You're basically saying that men in that predicament is pretty much fvcked. It's never too late for self improvement.

 

[yyc12]

The best way I've found to widen your social circle is to find a place that has a regular crowd. Get to know the regular crowd and make some friends. How do you approach them? The same way you learned how to approach sets of women, except you're there to make friends instead of getting laid.

This sounds like a ton of work..:nervous:

This thread just sounds like a bunch of excuses. There are tons of socially awkward, weird/creepy people in relationships. From a social circle standpoint, people "not fitting in" is more a function of just mismatching than any personality deficiency. Would someone from small town GA "fit in" in LA??

 

[FairShake]

This is bullsh!t. If one is that awkward then he should get that fixed immediately. Cold approaching won't help because at the end of the day he's still gonna be the same awkward dude who no one wants to associate with. You're basically saying that men in that predicament is pretty much fvcked. It's never too late for self improvement.

I don't think one can change social awkwardness after say, 25 or so. If you still have no friends after 25 you are pretty socially awkward and will probably remain so.

But said friendless wonder is also probably a d!ck. Most socially awkward people, myself included, have friends (usually similarly awkward but not always so) as well as girlfriends/boyfriends. If you do not have them you are either unusually shy or a d!ck who people don't want to be around. Most people give you a chance if you are a little shy or a little off. But VERY shy and a d!ck don't cut it.

These type of people CANNOT form a social circle. They are too in their heads to do so, either paralyzed with fear or frozen with self-righteousness. I don't see them having the skills or experience to build a circle. They are far better off trying and failing with cold approaches until they find a woman who is willing to temporarily look past their flaws and fvck.

Edit: If said d!ck realizes he is a d!ck and starts being nicer he may make some headway. But most information for the socially awkward doesn't tell them this. It reinforces their d!ckiness. Which is why i have little hope for these guys. I do tell them this in a much nicer way when i meet them though.

 

[sharkbeat]

This sounds like a ton of work..:nervous:

This thread just sounds like a bunch of excuses. There are tons of socially awkward, weird/creepy people in relationships. From a social circle standpoint, people "not fitting in" is more a function of just mismatching than any personality deficiency. Would someone from small town GA "fit in" in LA??

LA has a lot of clicks. There is always a crowd for any type of people. I find that LA does have a lot of pretentious people, the kind that ponders whether they should get a Benz or a Porsche. But, that's probably more of the by-product of the city life rather than LA itself. NY, I imagine, is even more pretentious.

Approaches is something that you just do. You don't categorize it, nor allocate a special time of day to "approach". You carry your life, you hang out with your friends and whatever social groups, and you approach simultaneously.

 

[AriMamba]

This sounds like a ton of work..:nervous:

This thread just sounds like a bunch of excuses. There are tons of socially awkward, weird/creepy people in relationships. From a social circle standpoint, people "not fitting in" is more a function of just mismatching than any personality deficiency. Would someone from small town GA "fit in" in LA??

everyone has an different opinion... is what makes us humans...