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Preventing oneitis

jnMissouri

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So I've been back in the game recently. I'm dating three different women, but am feeling antsy about one of them that I have not yet slept with. So I'm trying to keep myself in check. Today I got 2 phone numbers, one from POF and one from a girl sitting on a bench. Both verified numbers, we've already texted and one I have a date with tomorrow setup already.

It's kind of awkward with the one girl that I have not slept with yet because we work together and there is sexual tension. We are both nervous around each other a bit. In a way that's a good thing, but the pressure is so much! lol.

What else can I do other than keeping the pool of dating options going? I figure my interactions with her won't matter much as long as I have a steady stream of women to replace her with.
 

flowtheory

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So I've been back in the game recently. I'm dating three different women, but am feeling antsy about one of them that I have not yet slept with. So I'm trying to keep myself in check. Today I got 2 phone numbers, one from POF and one from a girl sitting on a bench. Both verified numbers, we've already texted and one I have a date with tomorrow setup already.

It's kind of awkward with the one girl that I have not slept with yet because we work together and there is sexual tension. We are both nervous around each other a bit. In a way that's a good thing, but the pressure is so much! lol.

What else can I do other than keeping the pool of dating options going? I figure my interactions with her won't matter much as long as I have a steady stream of women to replace her with.
Have sex with your highest interest soon while fielding other dates. Diversify. But get the one you like in to bed soon and don’t get needy or anything for her attention. Keep playing it cool and calm; focus on your purpose. All good man
 

jnMissouri

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Update, FIVE numbers today. Four on POF, one in person. 4 dates setup so far. Bam!
 

redskinsfan92

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Update, FIVE numbers today. Four on POF, one in person. 4 dates setup so far. Bam!
Careful! POF deleted my account without cause withour warning. No rules broken. Secure phone numbers.
 

17 shots

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If you feel yourself having oneities, ask yourself, what has she done to deserve me feeling this way about her. Usually the answer will be NOTHING. Just check yourself
 

Trump

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It's kind of awkward with the one girl that I have not slept with yet because we work together and there is sexual tension. We are both nervous around each other a bit.
How do you know she's nervous due to "sexual tension" with you?

She could be nervous her 6'1 boyfriend may call her anytime and tell her he doesn't want to get her pregnant anymore.

What else can I do other than keeping the pool of dating options going?
Tell her: "Lets stop playing games. I know you can feel the Sexual Tension between us. It's only a matter of time before our bodies become one. And when they do, you'll be one of the lucky lucky girls in the world, who will have the rare gift, of having me be inside you."
 

kbbroiler1971

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Also another important fact to remember. Women can cry a good game. You have to remember they are emotional so they can cry at will for anything. So don't be fooled by tears. Now I'm talking about if any of these women want to eventually be exclusive. Women are not sincere about feelings towards men. It's about money and security. It is almost never about the man's well being.
 

RangerMIke

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Just don't think about her. It's really not that hard... when you find you mind wandering and thinking about her, just change the subject in you head... get busy with other things or other chicks. When you find yourself obsessing over a chick it's because you are worried about fvcking sh!t up... or because you already fvcked **** up. Overthinking is the principle cause of screwing up with chicks.
 

SoSuave666

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This thread should blow up in my opinion, as it is the most important factor in relationships. The age old maxim of whoever cares less holds the power is such an invaluable mindset that to not spend a lot of time talking about it doesn't do the members on this board justice. I still struggle with this very topic to this day. If I have a rotation of plates, say just 3 (I have found that any more is too much trouble to manage), one of them will be better than the other 2. It's just natural to have a pecking order.

So, how do you manage this problem? I have found there are 5 key factors that help:

1. ALWAYS BE LOOKING FOR UPGRADES. Get out of your house and go to areas where women hang out (coffee shops, library, museums, parks, etc). Ideally you will approach and try and pick them up, but even just seeing girls more attractive than your number 1 plate lets you know that if you lose her, it's no big deal.

2. KEEP YOUR MEETUPS MINIMAL. 1 time per week is ideal, 2 times is iffy, and 3 times once in a blue moon (and only if you have been dating for like 3 or 4 months). You won't see her as often, therefore there is less bonding time available.

3. NO NON-SEXUAL TIME INVESTMENT. Men tend to bond quicker than women do, and it's contrary to why you may think. Men bond over the closeness with a woman, the touching, her lying on your chest/shoulder, holding hands, passionate kissing, etc. Women can get these interactions with literally anyone they want, including guy best friends, girl friends, or their dogs. Your job is to secks, then move on.

4. MINIMAL $ INVESTMENT. Much like the less non-sexual time investment, the less money you spend on "dates" and "activities" the less you become financially invested in her. You see this in sales all the time: they try and get minimal investment from you early on in the form of a downpayment, etc. so that you feel obligated to buy when the purchase day comes. I'm not saying be cheap...go get some drinks or something and be happy to pay for them, but in this case less is more. Additional points if you can get her to start paying for dates.

5. STOP TEXTING. The more you text, the more you become attached. Noted detriment: she becomes less attracted the more available you are.

So this is just a brief list I have come up with. The fact that you have oneitis before you have even slept with each other is troubling, I must admit. Keep it easy going and follow the rules above.
 

jnMissouri

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This thread should blow up in my opinion, as it is the most important factor in relationships. The age old maxim of whoever cares less holds the power is such an invaluable mindset that to not spend a lot of time talking about it doesn't do the members on this board justice. I still struggle with this very topic to this day. If I have a rotation of plates, say just 3 (I have found that any more is too much trouble to manage), one of them will be better than the other 2. It's just natural to have a pecking order.

So, how do you manage this problem? I have found there are 5 key factors that help:

1. ALWAYS BE LOOKING FOR UPGRADES. Get out of your house and go to areas where women hang out (coffee shops, library, museums, parks, etc). Ideally you will approach and try and pick them up, but even just seeing girls more attractive than your number 1 plate lets you know that if you lose her, it's no big deal.

2. KEEP YOUR MEETUPS MINIMAL. 1 time per week is ideal, 2 times is iffy, and 3 times once in a blue moon (and only if you have been dating for like 3 or 4 months). You won't see her as often, therefore there is less bonding time available.

3. NO NON-SEXUAL TIME INVESTMENT. Men tend to bond quicker than women do, and it's contrary to why you may think. Men bond over the closeness with a woman, the touching, her lying on your chest/shoulder, holding hands, passionate kissing, etc. Women can get these interactions with literally anyone they want, including guy best friends, girl friends, or their dogs. Your job is to secks, then move on.

4. MINIMAL $ INVESTMENT. Much like the less non-sexual time investment, the less money you spend on "dates" and "activities" the less you become financially invested in her. You see this in sales all the time: they try and get minimal investment from you early on in the form of a downpayment, etc. so that you feel obligated to buy when the purchase day comes. I'm not saying be cheap...go get some drinks or something and be happy to pay for them, but in this case less is more. Additional points if you can get her to start paying for dates.

5. STOP TEXTING. The more you text, the more you become attached. Noted detriment: she becomes less attracted the more available you are.

So this is just a brief list I have come up with. The fact that you have oneitis before you have even slept with each other is troubling, I must admit. Keep it easy going and follow the rules above.
Good stuff. I'm actually dating a few other women. This one is high stakes because it's at work. Don't want to fall on my face and have to see her at work.
 

jnMissouri

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If you feel yourself having oneities, ask yourself, what has she done to deserve me feeling this way about her. Usually the answer will be NOTHING. Just check yourself
So true. Honestly after our first date I wasn't feeling it and she could tell. Then she came forward again and I figured why not see if I can get us alone at her place. So I'm still in the game with her. She agreed. We are back at the two steps forward, one step back. I fully expected her to do this as it is her pattern.
 

Spaz

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As far as it concerns women, I don't think logically using my thought processes.

Quality women ? Fvck that shiet. Only applicable to noobs.

I simply allow my d1ck to guide me.

If my d1ck doesn't desire 1 woman, dump.

If my d1ck desires multiple women, I'll do multiple.

When it comes to women my d1ck is in-charge.
 
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