Preventing joining her Orbiter club.

[spiegel549]

This new girl I met always wants to get together and we have so much fun that I honestly could see her everyday, BUT I know it screams loser fest, and would show I have no other plates spinning and I'll run to her w.e she calls. So I obviously want to avoid that. Especially since I am older, I gotta keep that "cool older guy vibe" (she is 20) (I am 27)

How do you determine the balance of how often YOU reach out to get together as opposed to waiting for HER to hit you up? Anytime I have reached out she is down for doing something.

I hate to have to tell myself "okay I have nothing going on today, no work, did all my errands, now should I hit her up today or let her reach out first?" I think its silly but I know if I don't show mystery and that I can easily walk away, I will just be another Orbiter. (I know she has a few)

How do you balance the invites to get together where I am not over doing it. I DO NOT want to be guy #13 that hits her up in hopes of laying her. I want to be guy #1 that she wants to maul when she sees.

 

[Iceberg]

Well, the only sure-fired way of not being an orbiter is to make a move on her. I'd probably worry about that more than how often I contact her.

Get her on a date or get her to make out with you. Then, the response is "yes" or "no". And then you can dictate whether not she's worth staying in touch with.

I don't know about you, but I don't spend a whole lot of time communicating with girls who I'm not dating.

 

[spiegel549]

I don't know about you, but I don't spend a whole lot of time communicating with girls who I'm not dating.

That is how I have always felt, but recently I think to myself hmm would it be the worse thing to have a few female friends? then I snap out of it and realize that all I would be thinking about when we hang out is what its like to bang her. So completely agree. If she isn't down for dating, I don't really need her around. I got my boys to kick it and drink beers with.

Since see is so young she is very fickle. First day meeting me texted me "okay but its not a date!" I was like "yeah whatever its just 2 people kicking it." then later that night we made out and she couldn't keep off of me lol. Then the 2nd kick back she was even MORE touchy but then wouldn't let me kiss her when I dropped her off lol. Weird right?

How you feel about that?

 

[handle]

You want to play this like anything else -- don't do too much "friend" stuff, get some one-on-one time. You won't be an orbiter if you make a move.

 

[PlayHer Man]

If you want to f*ck her what is stopping you? The longer you BS around the more likely she will see you as a friend/orbiter.

First order of business when meeting a new girl is trying to f*ck her. You should do that before you worry about anything else. If you can't f*ck her right away.. use that time to gather intelligence on hot friends or hot sisters/cousins she might have just in case she puts you in orbiter territory.

If she rejects you.. go for her hot friends or hot sister/cousin/mother. If there is nothing available.. leave the showroom.

 

[Iceberg]

That is how I have always felt, but recently I think to myself hmm would it be the worse thing to have a few female friends? then I snap out of it and realize that all I would be thinking about when we hang out is what its like to bang her. So completely agree. If she isn't down for dating, I don't really need her around. I got my boys to kick it and drink beers with.

Don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with having female friends...they provide good social proof. And they can be a good source of other women to meet.

I just feel like you're more caught up in this girl than you would be with a typical female friend.

Since see is so young she is very fickle. First day meeting me texted me "okay but its not a date!" I was like "yeah whatever its just 2 people kicking it." then later that night we made out and she couldn't keep off of me lol. Then the 2nd kick back she was even MORE touchy but then wouldn't let me kiss her when I dropped her off lol. Weird right?

How you feel about that?

Definitely glad to know that you made out with her. That would have changed my first response.

I mean, like you said, she's young. Best you can do is put her on the backburner. If you're asking how often you should reach out to her, then I'm assuming that you're reaching out to her too much already. Especially for some flaky, fickle girl who kissed you once.

I'd recommend backing off a bit. If she sees that she can have your attention WITHOUT giving up any of her power in this dynamic, then she has no reason to escalate with you.

 

[spiegel549]

*Update for tomorrow morning*

Thank you all for your advice. All makes perfect sense.

She asked me to hang out tomorrow morning before she works at 2pm. She wants to come over to my place at 10am to smoke and kick it. Now we will be alone in my place....to me its obvious to try to do something but who knows what she is thinking.

Should I rip a few with her and try to escalate? Be touchy flirty with her and try to lay one on her? She resists the kiss should I keep trying at it?

Or should I play it differently for tomorrow?

 

[Skyy.]

She is obviously giving you the biggest hint if she has ANY interest in you.

Grab some liquor and make her a drink. Your job is to make her call in sick, or you are just her weed supplier. Either way, tomorrow will tell if she thinks you are a chump or not. Smoke, cross-buzzed and you guys won't be going anywhere.

 

[spiegel549]

Gave it my all but she didn't budge. WTF!?

She is obviously giving you the biggest hint if she has ANY interest in you.

Grab some liquor and make her a drink. Your job is to make her call in sick, or you are just her weed supplier. Either way, tomorrow will tell if she thinks you are a chump or not. Smoke, cross-buzzed and you guys won't be going anywhere.

Bro pushed it to the max. We got cross buzzed and she was ALL OVER ME...laying on me, arms around me, but every time I went to kiss her she goes "nahh chill chill." "im not trying to kiss you.." "I am not into you like that" etc.

I then was like well "why did you kiss me the other night." she goes "you kissed me!" (you know little kid games lol)

Bro she changes before she leaves for work and goes "ohhh I forgot my bra can you get it for me." then she starts talking about her nips on how small they are...so I get up and start rubbing her tits and go to kiss her, and she stops me and says that same above bullcrap lines...i laugh it off

FINALLY she kisses me and the second we get into it she stops me again. FCUKING BLUE BALL CENTRAL.

She asks for some weed to go and I'm like "NO." haha. Keep in mind this whole back and forth convo is flirty and stuff but I couldn't possibly push any harder with out forcing myself on her (which I wasn't gonna do) lol

What do you think guys? She will eventually give in? Or am I wasting my damn time? We are suppose to go to some concert tomorrow just me and her but I don't want to go if she thinks we are "friends kicking it" fcuk that.

 

[ludis]

Either she's into rough play or she's mercilessly stringing you along for weed.
Or both.

Proceed boldly.

Oh and quit doing things like fetching her bra, or anything resembling that for that matter. These are sh1t tests.

"Get it your ****in self."

 

[spiegel549]

Generally, talk about sex and hit on her shamelessly. In this case, the girl is a MEGA attention wh0re so do the opposite. See also: never date stoner chicks.

Yeah bro I couldn't have pushed the topic any more. I said to her "do you hang over and cuddle with all the guys your friends with." (you know busting her balls for not kissing me) and she goes "Nahh I really don't, just you." I'm like then kiss me. SHE WOULDN"T do it.

At a point she would "drunk/highly" push my face away or w.e but then cuddle right back up with me.

It was a complete mind fcuk and I can't be going to a concert tomorrow if she is gonna tease me the whole damn night.

So you guys think pull the plug? Maybe 1 more try with her saying whats up straight out? She is 18 remember.

edit add

ludis i actually did do that. I KNEW she was shii t. testing me so I was like come get it. she came over the couch and i pulled her on top of me and she laid all over me. As soon as I tried to kiss her. BAM same b.s.

I seriously could not of tried any harder with out raping her. Not trying to be funny.

 

[ludis]

By any means necessary do not get emotionally involved.

If you must keep her around, and you think you have the discipline then use her exclusively for social proof, while being positively aloof.

Or else, hard next.

 

[Iceberg]

Yeah bro I couldn't have pushed the topic any more. I said to her "do you hang over and cuddle with all the guys your friends with." (you know busting her balls for not kissing me) and she goes "Nahh I really don't, just you." I'm like then kiss me. SHE WOULDN"T do it.

It was a complete mind fcuk and I can't be going to a concert tomorrow if she is gonna tease me the whole damn night.

Going to a concert with her, and these 10am hangouts and sh!t...it feels like "relationship" behavior. And this is a girl who can't even commit to kissing you.

So you guys think pull the plug? Maybe 1 more try with her saying whats up straight out? She is 18 remember.

No she's not. She's 20. Remember? You said so, right here.

I gotta keep that "cool older guy vibe" (she is 20) (I am 27)

But I'm a strong opponent of asking her what's up. There's no point, and it makes it seem like you're way too invested in her. You can't debate your way into her pants.

You gotta remember your position in this thing. You're like 10 years older than her. You can't be chasing her around like the average high school boy.

You're an adult and adults don't have time to chase girls who don't value their time. Show her what adults do.

 

[spiegel549]

cool. much respect boys thanks.

At the end of the day it's 1 girl. Funny enough my old fcuk buddy texts me out of the blue today and says "come over and smoke, I got the place to myself."

Its like it all happened for a reason hahahaha.

On a serious note if I do decide to go to the concert (she paid, and is driving) just go and act like I don't give a F about her? Be friendly but as aloof as possible? OR keep up the touch flirty crap and push again to kiss her at the right moments?

 

[youngmack]

Keep up the flirty touchy crap, but don't be outcome dependent on it. Just do it but don't go crazy thinking your going to get anything out of it. Don't spend money on her, and don't put off things that you need to do just to hang with her. Hang with her only when you have time and nothing better to do. Also, when you do, keep trying to escalate. Stay emotionally distant from her and if you guys happen to fvck then you fvck. Its not a big deal

Most importantly spin other plates, burn your spliff and live your life.

 

[youngmack]

I remember couple months ago I was in the same situation as you. Girl wouldn't allow me to escalate when I tried, was aloof and cold during texting convos etc. I decided to stop being outcome dependent and not give a fvck.

I was so outcome independent that I would write her good morning texts every morning and talk to her like I was in a relationship like a total AFC, but only because I was bored and just didn't give a **** about what would end up happening. Weeks later she ended up topping me off on her couch and I ended up balls deep lol.

Not saying to do what I did but I'm just showing you how being outcome independent can work in your favor.