Pretty sure that I am about to get dumped. URGENT

[Glassguy]

She is only trying to turn this around on you. Nothing more.

Why you felt the need to open this can of worms and pull the bandaid off this wound is what I dont understand.

 

[gettinit]

I don't know why. Because I can? The wound doesn't hurt anymore, I'm just a bit pissed off now, that's all. I know exactly what she is doing, she didn't need to respond at all and that message basically wiped away anything that was left in me emotionally. Is it a waste of my valuable time? Maybe. If its entertaining, not so much. I'll let this thread die now. I have a date later!

 

[Glassguy]

Dude the best thing you can do is go live your life and have fun.

Although she dumped you, you were smart enough to see the writing on the wall and felt it coming. That is when you just withdraw attention or dump her first. "Hey I am going to take some time off. Things just arent what they used to be and I need some space. TTYL" then zip in up and do not text.

The reason you do this is to PUT IT ON HER and PUT HER ON THE OFFENSIVE. They will chase at that point if their interest level is high.
Pull the rug out from under them and walk away. Its better to put them in shock than vise versa.

If you were ever in this situation again, you will know what to do.

As far as this one, its over. She is telling you that she is seeing other people. Block her fvcking number, purge her on social media and move on. This train isnt slowing down.

 

[icantgetlaid]

I don't see any point in blocking/ignoring the ex girlfriend. Just add her to your rotation / enjoy the casual sex / treat her like a plate.

 

[resilient]

I don't see any point in blocking/ignoring the ex girlfriend. Just add her to your rotation / enjoy the casual sex / treat her like a plate.

Some guys just can't separate their emotions from an ex and just bang away without any feels. Better to block and start fresh with new plates.

 

[That_dude]

Agreed resilient

 

[Alpheta]

Man, the advice on here is such GOLD. Really.

Never get phased. Forget her for a moment. What I mean is, if you let things phase you, you've only made it worse for yourself. If someone is trying chip away at you, let it go. Ignore it. It isnt worthy of your investment. This doesnt just go down for relationships but for anything. Stay in your frame at all times.

In this case, I would not ignore but I wouldn't initiate any longer or feed in to any drama. If she stops responding, so be it. In most cases, if you showed no interest or reaction to her lack of interest she would nearly always be available for sechs.

Point is, if she stops taking you too seriously, you should mirror that. No point of trying to meet up and talk about dumping her or even dumping her in general. No point of ignoring her and blocking her either.

Just my 2 cents from what I have experienced.

 

[A 3% Percent Man]

OP Keep Your Head Up It only get better from here.

I am glad you saw the writing on the wall and had the support of the group. Not too many of us, who spent time at the HeartBreak Hotel had that kind of foursight and group of Don Juans to help until it was too late. As soon as I read your first post I knew it was coming and I told myself I hope this guy goes Ghost Mode ASAP and emotionally eject from this Hurricane coming before he becomes a FEMA Case.

I am glad you landed on a soft fall and began recovery right away.

That Lady did not value you. After a 3 LTR ends with a text message (enough said)
If she ever creeps back ( they always seem to do when you go Ghost and don't break silent) she is no more than a FWB

Learn from this relationship and use for self improvement and your growth.
I would recommend picking up some self help books on relationships and emotional intelligence . Corey Wayne's Book changed my life.

 

[Fireballs]

There is some A1 advice in here .. we all know how hard it is to follow it when you're the one in this situation, but once you find your centre, you're gold.

 

[guru1000]

I don't have time to read the whole thread, but what I would have told you had I seen it earlier, is in bold

Mauser, good to see you back buddy. Stick around

 

[mikey2012]

OP, you are about to be dumped. NEVER be the dumpee. Always be the dumper. She is in the process right now, even while still technically together with you, of grieving the loss of the relationship. By the time she dumps you (which is a 100% certainty), she will be mostly over it and you will begin your own grieving process.

NEVER be the dumpee. You don't think that she's magically going to change back to how it was, do you? She's already gone. A conversation with her will bury you. Trust me. Men do not profit from such conversations, ever.

1) Tell her in a very short, unemotional way, that the relationship has changed and you're no longer interested in continuing. Avoid a long conversation. It will only weaken you. Tell her in a matter-of-fact way and then let her go.

Read the bold words above 20 times. Do not invest your emotion into it. That is a weakness she will exploit. If you have a long conversation, it's game over.

2) Go ghost. The script has now been flipped and she is shell-shocked. Instead of thinking of all the things that she thought was wrong, she's now thinking of all the things that were right.

3) Allow several weeks to go by. If she begs and cries and carries on to the point where you think it's worth another shot, go for it, but with the distinct knowledge in your mind that she is on probation.

4) If she goes ghost too, then you have properly taken care of business and she was never right for you. You have ridden yourself of something that would have dragged you down for months. You are a free man.

Never be the dumpee. When a man senses there is something wrong, there IS.

I disagree . If you know you about to be dumped and are prepared and emotionally detached let her make the move to dump . When she does either say ok or ghost . This puts the burden of the decision on her. Also you walk away with your self respect . She will feel all sorts of emotions and constantly evaluating whether she made the right choice . This is especially true if she has another guy in the picture . After their honeymoon phase over she will be filled with regret . By that time you would have another chick. This is the greatest revenge .

 

[Ranger]

Her response:
“ I have had a lot on my mind about a lot of things.”
This is never a work thing.

This is the sentence that she really wanted to communicate. When a woman says this or says she’s confused, it’s always about men. The one in the relationship gets to hear it. It’s a death nail quotation. Married men get this in spades.

If I hear these words out of a woman’s mouth. Boom!!!! Game over.
Follow the advice above and exit. Do not explain yourself. She knows why. She’s a social ninja.

 

[Spaz]

OP must be fvcked up beyond all repair if he's still seeking advice abt this since 2017..

 

[Spaz]

Her response:
“ I have had a lot on my mind about a lot of things.”
This is never a work thing.

This is the sentence that she really wanted to communicate. When a woman says this or says she’s confused, it’s always about men. The one in the relationship gets to hear it. It’s a death nail quotation. Married men get this in spades.

If I hear these words out of a woman’s mouth. Boom!!!! Game over.
Follow the advice above and exit. Do not explain yourself. She knows why. She’s a social ninja.

I agree.

Women can be so transparent sometimes.

It's a marvel that many men fall for it.

 

[Ranger]

I agree.

Women can be so transparent sometimes.

It's a marvel that many men fall for it.

It’s so true Spaz. However, I do remember a time where if that was said to me I would be scratching my head. Lol

 

[Spaz]

It’s so true Spaz. However, I do remember a time where if that was said to me I would be scratching my head. Lol

Lol yeah. There were times if I were to look back I'm sure I did scratch my head more often then not when I came to women.

I still do...

Maybe that's why I'm so dismissive when it concerns women.

 

[mikey2012]

Women don't dump you unless there is another guy in the picture.

Tell tale signs are;

Nitpicking you.. e.g even if you cross your legs the wrong way she will have a go at you.
Change in behavior...longer to reply to texts. Detachment.
Any chance to start an argument and blame you for their misery.
Saying stuff like "you will never change" "stop been an a$$hole"
Seeing faults in everything you do, You could have picked a nice restaurant and she would still ***** and moan. SHE"S TRYING TO JUSTIFY HER ACTIONS FOR LEAVING YOU, BLAMING YOU AS THE BAD GUY.

These signs may happen up to 3 months before she dumps you.

When you hear her say things like "things have changed" "I been thinking about something" ITS OVER ALREADY.

You need to be mentally prepared and emotionally detached. When you see these signs ..just vanish..no need to say anything. It is understood the relationship is over. BLOCK DELETE ON ALL COMMUNICATION CHANNELS.

it will be hard for some time but afterwards it will be fine.

Go meet other chicks. Travel to s different place for a week or two. New environment will make you forget faster. Take up new hobby to distract you.

I guarantee once you are over this, the thought of banging her will make you sick.

Most important..during the period of NC. she might want to contact you. DO NOT RESPOND. GET THIS. DO NOT RESPOND. EVER.
She maybe trying to get back because the new guy is not all he's cracked up to be.
DO NOT GET BACK. IF SHE LEFT YOU ONCE FOR ANOTHER DUDE, SHE WILL AGAIN.

THE ONLY EXCEPTION IS IF YOU KNOW FOR SURE SHE DID NOT LEAVE YOU FOR ANOTHER DUDE (BUT IF YOU ENCOUNTER THE TELL TALE SIGNS, THEN MOST LIKELY SHE HAS.

 

[lamath]

Just read the whole thread.

Alot can be learned from it.

The guy handle it well when she broke up with him over txt with no anwser at all and NC.

But then 1 week later he sent her a email.............

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

#nextSet

 

[fastlife]

I find this very difficult if not impossible to forgive. I honestly cannot imagine mistreating someone in this way just to creepily massage and protect my own self image.

That is because you are a man. More than that, a self-developed/-ing man. You are capable of standing up to social pressure & taking responsibility for your own decisions, your own emotions, etc.

It's a fool's errand to expect the same from women, especially young women, especially young hot women. Imagine it's 30,000 years ago and you're a girl--piss off the wrong man and, boom, no resources, boom, he might kill you, boom, the tribe leaves you to starve. That might sound like I'm giving women an evolutionary 'pass'--and to a degree I am--but this is about you and your happiness. Don't take it personal, because to her it isn't personal at all. She's just following a script and that script exists because it works lol.

Rare is the woman that can assertively & respectfully end things. So rare, you shouldn't expect it, desire it, count on it. On the same hand, just because something is normal doesn't mean you should tolerate it. By all means, if a woman tries to string you along, it's your prerogative to drop her. But it's not personal.