Pretty sure that I am about to get dumped. URGENT

[highSpeed]

Lol you mean to tell me you cant tell when someone is lieing to you? Especially a GF in a LTR? I can tell the instant someone is lieing/BSing me.

Please master, tell us how you know lol

 

[BeExcellent]

Damn, kudos to you for not responding to that bs, that's some good willpower.

Good for you. Given the additional context it's obviously over and you are now moving on as you should. You'll be fine.

 

[soulforge]

thats progress OP now you need to stop writing wall of texts about her

No brah if you need to write, and get this out of your system, or need to vent.. or seek advice?

Write all you want on here, we will all listen and advise the best we can!

 

[The Duke]

Lol you mean to tell me you cant tell when someone is lieing to you? Especially a GF in a LTR? I can tell the instant someone is lieing/BSing me.

well HOW then Great Julian? Tell me HOW you do it. You know how I know you are full of schitt? Because when I asked the question, you didn't answer.

 

[Glassguy]

@gettinit

This thing will go one of two ways, but your stance and actions can only be on ONE path.

1.) She will feel the new guy out and if she doesnt feel good about it, she will try to branch swing back.

2.) She will feel good about the new guy and you wont hear from her until they have problems.

Either way, this has probably been in her head for a while. While she feels out new guy she will occasionally text you to keep you around so she can come back if it doesnt work out for her. Expect the hot/cold treatment, messages that are unclear, all the things that will keep your emotions on a roller coaster. That is why its important to take our advice and block her from being able to contact you on all platforms.

Your one path now is to BLOCK her from all social media, text, fb messaging......EVERYTHING. Trust me on this. The last thing you want to do is open her snap chat and see her hugging on new dude. Drop this b!tch in the rear view and move on.

Many of us have been there and it really doesnt get easier from here and takes time and smashing some new chicks. I advise to start talking to chicks asap as the new attention will quickly replace the old attention from her. The best way to get over one is to get under one.

Good luck bro. Make the right decisions now so it will be quicker to get on track.

 

[soulforge]

@gettinit

This thing will go one of two ways, but your stance and actions can only be on ONE path.

1.) She will feel the new guy out and if she doesnt feel good about it, she will try to branch swing back.

2.) She will feel good about the new guy and you wont hear from her until they have problems.

Either way, this has probably been in her head for a while. While she feels out new guy she will occasionally text you to keep you around so she can come back if it doesnt work out for her. Expect the hot/cold treatment, messages that are unclear, all the things that will keep your emotions on a roller coaster. That is why its important to take our advice and block her from being able to contact you on all platforms.

Your one path now is to BLOCK her from all social media, text, fb messaging......EVERYTHING. Trust me on this. The last thing you want to do is open her snap chat and see her hugging on new dude. Drop this b!tch in the rear view and move on.

Many of us have been there and it really doesnt get easier from here and takes time and smashing some new chicks. I advise to start talking to chicks asap as the new attention will quickly replace the old attention from her. The best way to get over one is to get under one.

Good luck bro. Make the right decisions now so it will be quicker to get on track.

This man.. It's time for you to get selfish and think only of your own recovery and how quickly you can heal from this..

You do NOT want to be falling for the breadcrumbs, and you certainly do not want to see pics of her, with some other dude...

Block block block... don't let her back into your life

 

[Roober]

@gettinit

This thing will go one of two ways, but your stance and actions can only be on ONE path.

1.) She will feel the new guy out and if she doesnt feel good about it, she will try to branch swing back.

2.) She will feel good about the new guy and you wont hear from her until they have problems.

Either way, this has probably been in her head for a while. While she feels out new guy she will occasionally text you to keep you around so she can come back if it doesnt work out for her. Expect the hot/cold treatment, messages that are unclear, all the things that will keep your emotions on a roller coaster. That is why its important to take our advice and block her from being able to contact you on all platforms.

Your one path now is to BLOCK her from all social media, text, fb messaging......EVERYTHING. Trust me on this. The last thing you want to do is open her snap chat and see her hugging on new dude. Drop this b!tch in the rear view and move on.

Many of us have been there and it really doesnt get easier from here and takes time and smashing some new chicks. I advise to start talking to chicks asap as the new attention will quickly replace the old attention from her. The best way to get over one is to get under one.

Good luck bro. Make the right decisions now so it will be quicker to get on track.

All good! Not sure I agree on the smashing new chicks right away. I felt like some guys try to fill the hole left by their ex, rather than dealing with the pain, then next thing they know, they are in another relationship. But to each his own

 

[Julian]

well HOW then Great Julian? Tell me HOW you do it. You know how I know you are full of schitt? Because when I asked the question, you didn't answer.

Dude just youtube it. Signs someone is lieing. I researched heavy into body language as well as signals people are not being honest. Its not that hard to study human behavior and apply it to your life. In my view you must not deal with alot of people. But thats ok i wouldnt expect someone whos social life consists of online messageboards to understand.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Ok tell him to chase. Have more talks...pour it out there. Buy her some flowers...apologize.
Tell her how much you care and love her. Always be available.
Try those things then get back to us and see how that works out.

There is a BIG difference between pedestalizing and giving attention to. Go ahead and ignore a chick, never go out, and don't text her back if she does reach out to you. I'm sure this girl will be pounding at your door telling her that she wants to **** you.

The thing is, being aloof isn't always the right answer because it could be taken as you being too scared to make a move. And in this case, it very well could be since judging all the responses here, people say to dump her just so that OP can do it FIRST, not because it will make him a better or stronger person. That is WEAK behavior, and is inherently unattractive in a man. Always be strong. Face your fears, and take responsibility for your actions. That requires courage which shows strength. Running away and dumping her first because you don't want to talk to her because you are AFRAID she will dump you is weak. This is the point I am trying to get at bro, no flame to you or to any of the guys here. But you have to view ALL perspectives. Would it not help to read a woman's mind? Well you can do that by looking at things from her perspective.

 

[guru1000]

Seasoned men don't get dumped. When the red flags arise or her company is no longer fun, they eject without a trace. No words, no discussion, no diatribe, no emotion-tampon guttings ... just poof.

Women crave seasoned men.

 

[Glassguy]

Seasoned men don't get dumped. When the red flags arise or her company is no longer fun, they eject without a trace. No words, no discussion, no diatribe, no emotion-tampon guttings ... just poof.

Women crave seasoned men.

True. That's why I told the OP to just ignore and let her do all of the, if any, reaching out.

Anymore when I start noticing lack of interest, shifts of attention, or any of the other monkey branching signs, I just stop giving any attention. Some respond to the push by pulling, some don't.

Those that don't, I'm positive, wouldn't have responded to anything else either. It's the best way to "dump", leave her head spinning, yet also leave the door open if she wants to hook up later. I'm all about not burning bridges when I don't have to.

 

[guru1000]

True. That's why I told the OP to just ignore and let her do all of the, if any, reaching out.

Anymore when I start noticing lack of interest, shifts of attention, or any of the other monkey branching signs, I just stop giving any attention. Some respond to the push by pulling, some don't.

Those that don't, I'm positive, wouldn't have responded to anything else either. It's the best way to "dump", leave her head spinning, yet also leave the door open if she wants to hook up later. I'm all about not burning bridges when I don't have to.

It's an age-old argument whether to openly discuss or covertly eject. My experience unequivocally shows over and over to covertly eject from a damaged frame. Every time I deviated from this, I got the short end of the stick. Either she will return on her own accord with absolute compliance to your (and surrendering her) frame--or--she will never return which is best in a damaged frame, that is, if she were imposing her frame upon you.

Long gone are the days where a DJ tries "to work things out." Assuming you are a reasonable person, she either succumbs to your frame or she loses you.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Alright just read what happened. OP good on you for handling this. Remember what I said initially, that whatever you do you have to get stronger. You can never be too strong. Always gotta be the best. Thanks for updating.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Your right and the fear here is being alone. Oneitis and the idea that he should feel guilt.
Your just off with this and OP came back and reaffirmed what smart ppl were telling him.

Fair enough. I'm telling OP to do whatever will get him stronger, which means looking at things from all angles. Being able to admit things about yourself is one of the first steps you can take towards becoming a stronger version of yourself.

 

[Bingo-Player]

OP, you are about to be dumped. NEVER be the dumpee. Always be the dumper. She is in the process right now, even while still technically together with you, of grieving the loss of the relationship. By the time she dumps you (which is a 100% certainty), she will be mostly over it and you will begin your own grieving process.

NEVER be the dumpee. You don't think that she's magically going to change back to how it was, do you? She's already gone. A conversation with her will bury you. Trust me. Men do not profit from such conversations, ever.

1) Tell her in a very short, unemotional way, that the relationship has changed and you're no longer interested in continuing. Avoid a long conversation. It will only weaken you. Tell her in a matter-of-fact way and then let her go.

Read the bold words above 20 times. Do not invest your emotion into it. That is a weakness she will exploit. If you have a long conversation, it's game over.

2) Go ghost. The script has now been flipped and she is shell-shocked. Instead of thinking of all the things that she thought was wrong, she's now thinking of all the things that were right.

3) Allow several weeks to go by. If she begs and cries and carries on to the point where you think it's worth another shot, go for it, but with the distinct knowledge in your mind that she is on probation.

4) If she goes ghost too, then you have properly taken care of business and she was never right for you. You have ridden yourself of something that would have dragged you down for months. You are a free man.

Never be the dumpee. When a man senses there is something wrong, there IS.

ive not read many replies but atom smasher covers all bases

i went through something similar to this 5 months ago and there was another guy which i sensed from her way before she actually did anything ,

i went ghost immediately and removed her from all socials BAR snapchat

on snapchat i went out of my way to post snaps of myself doing fun stuff and out with multiple women every week ( she hated this)

she begged and i mean BEGGED me for 3 months to meet her ......i needed that time to re calibrate myself as she did serious damage to my psyche and i lost a lot of confidence

i took 2 trips to ibiza and realised that other (better) women do exist ........lol

i met her when i came home , and its clear she was full of regret

i can tell from her actions she's desperate to make repairs with us , but the problem is because of the red pill i dont know wether il ever be able to feel the same way about her again

i suspect you may feel the same

 

[Glassguy]

ive not read many replies but atom smasher covers all bases

i went through something similar to this 5 months ago and there was another guy which i sensed from her way before she actually did anything ,

i went ghost immediately and removed her from all socials BAR snapchat

on snapchat i went out of my way to post snaps of myself doing fun stuff and out with multiple women every week ( she hated this)

she begged and i mean BEGGED me for 3 months to meet her ......i needed that time to re calibrate myself as she did serious damage to my psyche and i lost a lot of confidence

i took 2 trips to ibiza and realised that other (better) women do exist ........lol

i met her when i came home , and its clear she was full of regret

i can tell from her actions she's desperate to make repairs with us , but the problem is because of the red pill i dont know wether il ever be able to feel the same way about her again

i suspect you may feel the same

You found out there are better women out there.....lots of them. Women that you dont have to start out with distrust, past issues and manipulating yourself by not being yourself around..........

Yet you are considering getting back into a vehicle that is still on fire? Come on man, you know better than that. Damaged goods. Move on!

 

[Bingo-Player]

You found out there are better women out there.....lots of them. Women that you dont have to start out with distrust, past issues and manipulating yourself by not being yourself around..........

Yet you are considering getting back into a vehicle that is still on fire? Come on man, you know better than that. Damaged goods. Move on!

Unfortunately @Glassguy in real life sometimes things aren’t as black as white as they appear on paper

I invested a lot into this woman …..Perhaps more than I would care to admit because I knew from the off she had qualities many women lack

Self-reflection perhaps being the biggest one

She fvcked up and she recognises this and I’ve made her pay a high price for her stupidity ……because of that I believe she has the potential to grow

Il hold my hands up and admit I took my foot off the gas with her , I allowed her too much freedom and I was living in Disney land …..Love can do strange things to a man

However The position I find myself in now is one where I know I don’t have to attach myself to her emotionally, yet she is anchored to me out of fear of losing me for good this time

I hold the full deck of cards because I don’t particularly care whether she comes or goes

I have 2 plates spinning from seeds I laid in IBIZA one is considerably more attractive than my ex and the other is dying for me fvck her

I have every intention of developing both of these...... whilst monitoring my ex

 

[Glassguy]

I know countless stories just like yours. This forum is littered with them.

This woman is no different than the rest, do not think that her remorse is something special. The reconciliation never ends up good. At some point the revived newness will wear off and you will be you and she will be her. Thats when things break down again.

All women want what they cant have, thus some come crawling back after the break up. No matter what the cause it will rear its ugly head again.

Why not cut your losses and move on instead of going through this again and again. I have read your posts, this isnt the first time this has happened if I recall.

I have a one strike policy when it comes to a "relationship". If it ends, and most eventually do, you go from prey to predator in a hurry and shake it off. No reason to keep dealing with issues from a broken relationship when there are countless women out there who are far better.

Good to hear you have a couple of plates. Spin them and stop monitoring your ex. Her being in the picture at all is enough to make you lose frame. If you think you can spin these other plates to your best ability while your ex is still hanging around, you're fooling yourself.

 

[TheProspect]

I hold the full deck of cards because I don’t particularly care whether she comes or goes

Rationalizing keeping your ex in your life to the forum, despite seasoned advice advising otherwise, contradicts this. It seems she has an anchor in you and you're projecting the contrary.

You're not a life coach, so don't make decisions based on someone's "potential". Especially decisions involving a woman and double especially decisions involving an ex.

Relationships are like business partnerships. You're an idiot if you do business (invest emotionally or time) with the same person twice when it clearly didn't benefit you the first time.

When guys refer to their exes along the lines of "I don't want to be with her I just want sex/another plate" I just translate it in my head as "I'm afraid of disconnecting completely and permanently." Justifying talking/sleeping with exes by saying you have other plates is basically the male version of branch swinging (not necessarily a bad thing). Sometimes it's in your own best interest to take the fall though, figuratively speaking, even if it hurts...... you should focus on your own "potential" to grow and not someone else's. Cut her out of your life.

You're right, "love" can do strange things to a man, and your post proves that. Time to move on bro.

 

[gettinit]

As I had written in an earlier post, I Am updating for others who my have the misfortune of traveling down a similar path.

We guys, I broke.. well sort of. I sent an email last week, basically saying that I had thinking about a lot of things myself and was going to be dumping HER on the Thursday after her last text. She just beat me to it. I also explained why, including the MIA and a few other things that bothered me. I said that I just wanted to wait until the smoke cleared before I responded. It was a separate email address that she would have to want to look at. Yeah, mind games. Fight fire with fire. I know, I know, just move on.

The response...Mind you, almost a month later without any attempt to contact me via text, phone or email.

"I did ask for your thoughts. I appreciate them as well as your feelings. Thank you

I didn't think I was ending things or doing it via text! I thought I was opening the door to conversation, that would have perhaps continued on Thursday. Obviously the door has been slammed in my face.

"I've started dating again and I'll see what the future holds for me."

I've been thinking about everything you had to say and honestly, I don't see the point or feel the need to comment or explain myself further if that's where you're at.. dating again.

For the record, your babe always knew you were looking out for her.

Good Luck
I wish you well "

I'm actually in good emotional shape at this point and am dating. I guess that thankfully the hooks weren't so deep after all. Now I have to decide if I want to respond at all, put the screws to her or just have s*x with her, without getting involved again.

Any thoughts or input is welcomed.