Pretending to be happy

[MackJr]

I've been doing something a little different for me at work lately...
.
.
I've been pretending to be happy. The reason I did this is because I got the idea that if people didn't see my negative emotions, I might be able to go farther. Well actually, it seems to be working. In a way, it's similar to what you have to do when you meet a woman and act confident and relaxed.

Normally, I'm an "authentic" kind of guy, so if I'm happy, I let you know, If I'm not so happy, you'll know too. But here's a weird thing about all this: I actually start to feel happy for real.I didn't expect that.

It almost makes me think that if I pretended to be happy in my private life I'd get similar results. "All right! I get to do the laundry! Woohoo! I'm going to go through my bills!!!" And yet.., it may work.

What do you think?

 

[Julian]

i think id go nutso trying to do that all day.

Im more of a low key kind of dude so going berzerk over something inane seems like a rather pointless waste of energy.


But i think this goes along with just thinking positive in general. If you believe you are happy then you will begin to feel that way. Its kinda wonky to me but whatever...maybe ill try it out....

Actually now that i think about it, i have experienced what you are talking about. But the feeling of happiness seems to fade pretty fast...like i cant keep up the facade, or that it does work but jsut doesnt last very long and soon im back to a neutral state of mind and emotion.

 

[Jariel]

It definitely works! Keeping an upbeat and optimistic attitude and turning your focus away from your worries makes you a more positive person. Other people like positive people, so they will gravitate towards you, and generally positive things will come your way.

I don't quite go as far as pretending to be happy, but I purposely avoid being sad or stressed. When bad things happen, I try to shrug my shoulders and think "sh1t happens", then only think about it when I need to deal with it. Before I learned to do this I used to be a nervous wreck with depressive tendeancies. Now I'm the coolest cat on the block!

 

[Cranky Monk]

"Fake it till you make it" helps up to a certain point.

Like smiling - no matter how crap you feel, if you make yourself smile, you really feel better automatically.

Don't expect faking it to bring complete and utter happiness though. Some forms of happiness (like the satisfaction of achievement, or the cameraderie of good friends) can only be appreciated as the real deal.

 

[john_1234]

i do the same. when i first enter a bar/club for instance, and my confidence isn't all there, i act "as if" i have all the confidence in the world; and sure enough, i'll feel confident. brian tracy in his "psychology of achievement" explains this technique. works well!

 

[Shiftkey]

Even if it doesn't work for you, you'll learn a valuable skill. I had to learn it when I was a server at a restaurant, because your income literally depends on it. Now I have a job in sales, so the skill is coming into play again.