Prenups

[bluenorther]

A while back, I saw an opinion from the ladies at answerology.c om, regarding prenuptial agreements.
The general view on them was pretty negative, "Marrying with a prenup represents marrying with LESS THAN A FULL COMMITMENT."
Now, any time we discuss the "C"-word with women, it's a can of worms. Women have all sorts of ways they tilt the meaning, depending on how the relationship is going, length of time, you name it.
A man thinks "commitment", and it's one thing: A promise he can't walk away from. Joining the Army is a commitment. Jumping out of an airplane is a commitment. Getting married is a commitment. Being boyfriend-girlfriend/exclusive/fwb/dating/talking/seeing, whatever, is NOT "commitment". Those are labels women attach to a relationship, for their own benefit. It gives them a sense of connection, and they call THAT "commitment."
What makes a "Full Commitment", the type women cherish as part and parcel to marriage?
It's when the boundaries are down. Everything he has is open to her. Nothing is kept back. The very idea of keeping our boundaries intact implies we're holding back from a Full Commitment. No good!

What do Nice Guys do? They open all their boundaries... which makes their women lose all respect.
On the one hand, women uderstand a need to respect a man's boundaries, but they demand in the next breath that he shall take them all down.
They want it both ways, but they can't have it; it simply doesn't work.
I don't think women see the contradiction here.

 

[Maxtro]

Girlfriend: If you loved me then you won't need a prenup. It just means you don't think we can stay together forever

Boyfriend: If you loved me and want to stay with me forever why do you care if we have a prenup or not. It's not like we are ever going to need it

 

[Ken785]

A while back, I saw an opinion from the ladies at answerology.c om, regarding prenuptial agreements.
The general view on them was pretty negative, "Marrying with a prenup represents marrying with LESS THAN A FULL COMMITMENT."
Now, any time we discuss the "C"-word with women, it's a can of worms. Women have all sorts of ways they tilt the meaning, depending on how the relationship is going, length of time, you name it.
A man thinks "commitment", and it's one thing: A promise he can't walk away from. Joining the Army is a commitment. Jumping out of an airplane is a commitment. Getting married is a commitment. Being boyfriend-girlfriend/exclusive/fwb/dating/talking/seeing, whatever, is NOT "commitment". Those are labels women attach to a relationship, for their own benefit. It gives them a sense of connection, and they call THAT "commitment."
What makes a "Full Commitment", the type women cherish as part and parcel to marriage?
It's when the boundaries are down. Everything he has is open to her. Nothing is kept back. The very idea of keeping our boundaries intact implies we're holding back from a Full Commitment. No good!

What do Nice Guys do? They open all their boundaries... which makes their women lose all respect.
On the one hand, women uderstand a need to respect a man's boundaries, but they demand in the next breath that he shall take them all down.
They want it both ways, but they can't have it; it simply doesn't work.
I don't think women see the contradiction here.

they only say those things because its an excuse not to have a prenup so they can rob you of all you got once they get tired of you....and thats the TRUTH.

 

[Bible_Belt]

It goes both ways. Whoever comes to the marriage with more assets is the one who needs the prenup more. Also, some prenups have brutal alimony and maintenance clauses.

Just make sure that you have equal legal representation. It's fine to not use a lawyer at all, but if she gets one, you have to have your own who is just as good. Often, the way it works is that one of her lawyer's attorney buddies will pose as your attorney, saying that they advised you of your rights. This makes the contract stick in court. Don't fall into the trap of "one of my lawyer's friends is going to be your lawyer, ok honey?" That's a good way to get screwed, and I've seen it happen.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

A while back, I saw an opinion from the ladies at answerology.c om, regarding prenuptial agreements.
The general view on them was pretty negative, "Marrying with a prenup represents marrying with LESS THAN A FULL COMMITMENT."
Now, any time we discuss the "C"-word with women, it's a can of worms. Women have all sorts of ways they tilt the meaning, depending on how the relationship is going, length of time, you name it.
A man thinks "commitment", and it's one thing: A promise he can't walk away from. Joining the Army is a commitment. Jumping out of an airplane is a commitment. Getting married is a commitment. Being boyfriend-girlfriend/exclusive/fwb/dating/talking/seeing, whatever, is NOT "commitment". Those are labels women attach to a relationship, for their own benefit. It gives them a sense of connection, and they call THAT "commitment."
What makes a "Full Commitment", the type women cherish as part and parcel to marriage?
It's when the boundaries are down. Everything he has is open to her. Nothing is kept back. The very idea of keeping our boundaries intact implies we're holding back from a Full Commitment. No good!

What do Nice Guys do? They open all their boundaries... which makes their women lose all respect.
On the one hand, women uderstand a need to respect a man's boundaries, but they demand in the next breath that he shall take them all down.
They want it both ways, but they can't have it; it simply doesn't work.
I don't think women see the contradiction here.

Personally, I stay away from women who put monetary or material value on commitment. You have to ask yourself whether she is commited to you and the relationship or is she commited to your stuff.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=891080

 

[ketostix]

Women contradict themselves constantly because they are unabashed opportunist. It's hard to be an opportunist with a conscious and using logical and resonable arguments.