Pregnancy scare/abortion

[Qualtran]

I am reposting this in the mature man board because the main board has very few guys with actual experience relevant to my question.

Situation:
I may have gotten the girl im seeing pregnant (we were stupid a few times and used the pull-out method, and she is not yet on the pill). Its nothing difinitive yet, but when she told me she might be, it really got me thinking.

She said if she is, she will get an abortion, which is something I will stand behind completeley, but she has also said that even though she would get one its something she never has and would never want to do. She is worried about the psychological effects it would have.

What I am wondering is how going through a situation like this has effected some your girlfriends and relationships? Has the girl been ok post abortion? Has the relationship been ok afterwards?

 

[DrDope]

I went through it five years ago and it sucked.

No, the girl was not OK with it.

No, the relationship was not fine afterwards.

No, I was not OK with it afterwards.

I would never do it again if I could avoid it (in the US it's up to the woman, of course).

It wasn't until after this I understood why abortion is such a controversial political issue. I see both sides now and it's just a fuc&ed up situation overall.

 

[DonRob]

Originally posted by Qualtran
I am reposting this in the mature man board because the main board has very few guys with actual experience relevant to my question.

Situation:
I may have gotten the girl im seeing pregnant (we were stupid a few times and used the pull-out method, and she is not yet on the pill). Its nothing difinitive yet, but when she told me she might be, it really got me thinking.

She said if she is, she will get an abortion, which is something I will stand behind completeley, but she has also said that even though she would get one its something she never has and would never want to do. She is worried about the psychological effects it would have.

What I am wondering is how going through a situation like this has effected some your girlfriends and relationships? Has the girl been ok post abortion? Has the relationship been ok afterwards?

At the risk of pissing people off.. the bottom line is that baby has life. Plain and simple, period, no cutting corners or playing with words.

It causes problems emotionally, psychologically and can cause serious physical problems for the woman.

On a side note, your relationships is almost certainly doomed unless it is a very strong relationship.

 

[homey72]

Bad Situation

I would have to say this is about the worst situation you can find yourself in. Just some insight, I was involved in something like this about 10 years ago. I must be honest, it sucked a bit at first, however looking back on it, it suck more now then it did then. Really consider why you and your girl are doing this, think about the potential future you are destroying. I'm not a bible thumper, I won't go on a pro-life tirade, I will support the right to choose, but I will also let you know that realizing that you were selfish about destroying potential life sucks, especially later in life when you can look at it from a more mature, more philosophical standpoint.

Good luck with your choice.

 

[iveyleeger]

on the other hand

There is nothing worse than an unwanted child. Bad for child. Bad for parents. Abortion rates actually correllate with lower crime. And this would be a financial committment that extends until forever.

 

[DrMetallica]

I've been in this position which is really scary but she just got the morning after pill after the condom broke and everything was fine... it just took her two months to get her period, probably because she was so stressed out. I doubt that you are ready to have a child (I doubt anyone is ready to have a child under 25) so you can either a) get an abortion
b) give it up for adoption (she might not go through with it though, because there is a very close bond between mother and child after birth)
c) pay child support

I'd chose a, but I've never been through that.

 

[penkitten]

i know alot of people that have had these abortions and none of them , the mothers or fathers, were really ok later and none of their relationships worked out very long afterward. it killed all their relationships.

 

[JSH]

Horrible lesson for you to have to learn, always use protection. Get an abortion if you dont think you are ready to have child.