Potential sensitive subject (rape)

[MM92]

It's quite amazing how many girls say they've been raped by one person or another, usually a family member.

Of the 12 girls I've slept with, 3 of them have come out and said they've been raped by someone. That's 1/4 of the girls I've been with. Baring in mind I'm only 20 and each of these girls have been between 16-20, that is quite something. The scarier thing is each one of these girls has told me the first night we met, usually just after having sex. If I'd been raped I wouldn't be telling a randomer I'd just met about it?

Luckily with the first two I realised that this probably means nothing but trouble and never spoke to them again. But with the third I carried on seeing her, despite numerous red flags. I knew after each one that she meant trouble but she was fun and quite addictive. It was only when I had blokes that were obsessed with her ringing me threatening to kick my head in because of something she'd said that I apparently said that I realised enough was enough and I can't change this crazy *****.

AND NEITHER CAN YOU.

It's preached so much on here, and everyone knows it. But sometimes people choose to ignore it. It's not only worrying the amount of crazy *****es there are, but the amount of people are willing to put up with this ****.

 

[Iceberg]

I think there are plenty of women in the world who have been raped. But as you said, when a girl is unloading this EXTREMELY personal and traumatic information on you right when you first meet her, you can guarantee that she's some BPD drama queen.

A very close family member was raped. And I remember hearing about it as if it were yesterday. Someone broke into her place, violently raped her (while my 6 year old cousins slept in the next room) and left. Naturally, she called the police, went to the hospital, and after a few months the police found the guy. He plead guilty and was given 10 years.

But with these girls who talk about "rape" on Date #1, if you ask them "Did you call the police?" They always say no. "Did you go to the hospital?" No. "Does your family know? Your best friends?" No.

So basically, any type of REAL record of this "rape" never exists. Which of course leaves you to wonder.....Did this really even happen? So then, it's just a matter of - what is this girl's definition of rape? Because getting too drunk and f**king a guy you weren't attracted to doesn't constitute rape.

 

[Jaylan]

^In agreement with most of what Iceberg said OP.

I take rape very seriously, however, I take what a girl tells me with a grain of salt if she unloads such personal information on me when I barely know her. Nevermind the fact that Ive known a couple girls who seemed to invent the truth in the past.

So basically, while rape is a very real and horrible thing, you have to keep a critical mind when it comes to such revelations.

 

[handle]

I truly do believe that rape is a lot more common than you might think, and that a lot of it goes unreported due to fear, due to shame, due to all kinds of things. Not reporting it to the police doesn't mean it didn't happen or that it didn't have a deep impact on the person.

But, as the two above me mentioned, if the girl is telling you this stuff very early on it freaks me out. Not because I don't believe her (who am I to judge?), but because she feels the need to divulge really personal, heavy stuff to someone she barely knows. We all have issues (granted some more serious than others), but we don't start listing them off to people we've just met.


It always sucks to hear about stuff like rape or like serious mental illness from a chick you 're getting with. Because you know that 99.9% of the time you can't do **** to help. This girl I was hooking up with started telling me about her eating disorder, her panic attacks, etc. She a pretty reasonable person though, I was like "you know I can't help, why do you tell me this stuff?" and she said "I know, it just feels good to say it out loud every once and a while..." I guess if that's what works, that's what works. She kept telling me she thought she was getting fat, in my head I was thinking "you would be so attractive if you gained like 15 pounds" but of course that wouldn't have been a productive statement. I was able to convince her to lay off the drinking by telling her the sex was better sober, so I hope I calmed her down a bit? It'd be great to be able to help but in the position of "dude who is banging her" there is often no hope. Be respectful but recognize your limits, you are not a professional therapist.