"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Potential of Reeling in a 9.5..

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Don Juan
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I'm a bouncer at a 'poshy-club-lounge'. Wednesday night was slow, though there were a few 7's and one stunning 9-9.5 (added .5 for breast presentation).

Anyhow, ending the night off, the 7's are trashed and 9.5 is half bagged.

Since I'm 'stationed' at the entrance as they’re leaving - 9.5 and I make eye contact, she smiles, comes over to me, and apologises for the way her two friends were tonight etc.. (..they didn’t do anything wrong.)

I failed to neg her on the easy opening, as I just looked at her and did a typical 'no worries/all good'..

So we shake hands, exchange names, ask her where she works, negged her on it - then she again apologised for her friends behaviour..

So, I say along the lines of '..well, you could always make it up to me by joining myself for coffee this week etc..'

Now, I never did get a legit answer out of that -nothing negative, or awkward body language to suggest I was 'below her league' - I simply forget what transpired after the fact. We exchanged a few more smiles etc. later on as they were about to leave..

The deal is; her & her friends are doing bottle service tonight where I work. I may be doing the door when they arrive, or I may be inside trolling around..

Apart from my usual, and obvious game-saying regarding whether or not she's in for 'some tea and stimulating conversation'; any advice would be welcome in the...5 hours I have before I take off..

I'll throw something on here with an outcome tomorrow..

Thanks.

Edit: I'd also like to point out this isn't a 'putting her on a pedestal due to high marks' situation. I've gladly grown away from that. Also throwing this in to reinsure myself.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Soprano

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i bounced at a couple bars/clubs for a while. a couple things id joke around about to break the ice or joke around, after saying the introductions and etc: "Don't make me kick you out tonight...cuz I will..." // "You should go start a fight so I have something to do"

"you do anything for fun aside from coming here and getting loaded?" // "lets chat sometime when you're not loaded, here's my phone for number/facebook"

whether these lines are the best or not, i dunno, but theyre just some stuff i used to some fair success. of course modify them to fit your personality or humor, so they sound natural coming from you
 

Jeffst1980

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You need to make her qualify herself to you first and foremost. Don't act like she'd be doing you a "favor" by getting coffee with you; flip the script and make her tell you why she's special.

Forget tea and stimulating conversation; you need to find a way to get physical with her after closing time. If you can build some rapport with the group, this might be as simple as asking, "what are you up to later?" and suggesting some type of after party.
 

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Jeff: Yeah, I see how the coffee pull was a favor, more than anything else. Excellent observation.

Depending on how much of a lush she is, I'll ask her this. May as well hit for a homer..

Soprano: Good lines, solid material - I've used '..coming here and getting loaded' before - this only expands the toolbox. I'll riff a few tonight..

Off to gym before work - thanks again.
 
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