"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Potential gf backing out?

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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luckster

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danthemann said:
Ive been dating this really cool girl for 2 weeks now (been 3.5 weeks since we started talking) and we seemed to really be hitting it off and both like eachother. We both agreed to take things slow since she broke up with her bf a few days before we me and she keeps telling me that she doesnt have sex with just any guy (high-maintenance? or asd?). She told me things like shes looking for a good guy to be in a rship with for more than a few months.
Her friends tell her that im just a manwh*** tryin to get in her pants but ive been a good guy to her and we have yet to even hookup.
she also still talks to and about her ex (which i understand, some people end up as friends but either way idc) and will tell me that her ex is freaking out over her seeing me and such. She text and calls me everyday and we hang out a lot but tonight she apparently had a fight with her ex over me and now she "doesnt know what she wants" Im thinking one of a few things have happened:

1. despite her breaking up with her bf she is just using me for free crap and to boost her own ego and make her ex jelous (they go to the same school and even tho theyre broken up they "made a deal" they wuoldnt hookup with anyone over the weekend.) not to mention she tells me hes a jelous guy and she hates that?

2. She actually liked me and the fact that she slept over and nothing happened, the ice still hasnt been broken yet. (somethig about always be escalating screams in my ear here) but i am trying to prove im not as permiscuous as her friends think.

3. Shes been keeping her options open and found someone else she wants to try and be with or maybe she wants to be single (all her friends want relationships).

There could be more possibilities but this is what ive gathered so far. Either way, Im getting kind of fed up with this chick. none of those possibilities sound good. if shes doing this because we havent hookedup yet, thats probably better for me as im looking for a good chick who doesnt sleep around (lol i know). I dont know why her ex would still be in the picture if i was the good guy she wanted. and if shes losing IL walking away now is the best bet anyway.

Im close to just nexting her now to save trouble and money later. maybe showing her that i know im the catch yet dont have time for nonsense will play with her a little bit? from what ive come to gather shes very high-maitenance and is spoiled rotten (probably from nice guys giving her what she wants which she told me some of her ex's have done). Any advice?
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She's using you to make her ex jealous. She still wants to (and most likely still is) sleeping with her ex. She's just not sleeping with you because you are a tool to her. If she really liked you, you wouldn't be posting here right now.
 
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danthemann

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i realized this after i even posted, just rereading what i typed. shes clearly playing mind games to use me. its no problem for me to walk away and thats the confidence i have. Im a nice guy but i have no problem walking out when i get disrespected. I guess i let infatuation get in the way of my confidence which picked her up in the first place ( completely ignored her and didnt pay her attention until she initiated me). my next question is. do i let her know why im no longer talking to her after she calls me a bunch?
 
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Borknagar

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"She actually liked me and the fact that she slept over and nothing happened"

Bul****, she says she does, but you shoulda ****ed her like a slut. Her friends think shes as promiscuous as she is, because she probably is.

You should have hit it, and kept hitting it till she went stupid. That's what I'd do(and do do) And still have other women around.
 
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luckster

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danthemann said:
i realized this after i even posted, just rereading what i typed. shes clearly playing mind games to use me. its no problem for me to walk away and thats the confidence i have. Im a nice guy but i have no problem walking out when i get disrespected. I guess i let infatuation get in the way of my confidence which picked her up in the first place ( completely ignored her and didnt pay her attention until she initiated me). my next question is. do i let her know why im no longer talking to her after she calls me a bunch?
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Nope. You know the drill: no contact. Don't response to texts, don't respond to phone calls; most importantly, do not initiate contact. Delete her number, this dame is no good for you. It's too soon of a break-up so she's stuck to her ex, you don't need this. If you run into her in person and she *****es at you, say you've been caught up with things and haven't really had the time.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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