Potential GF and orbiters ...

[Onion]

I am dating this girl. Beautiful, great character and potential GF material. Problem is I am starting to develop feelings for her.

On the other hand kinda active on social media, she has chumps and beta orbiters who would jump at the first chance. Anything she posts they like and some of the comments are cringe-worthy!

I have noticed some of her 'friends' are folks she dated in the past and even maintain chats with a few of them.

My question is what do you do? Asking her to drop all of them sounds insecure and needy to the point not portraying my value. On the other hand they've started getting on nerves and I'd like her to cut them loose. What's the best way to handle this?

 

[Between_The_Lines]

I'd start by warming her up to idea that you have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to orbiters and exes by either using one of your friends or making up a story altogether (ex. "this girl my buddy is seeing wants to become official with him, but she refuses to sever contact with her male friends and exes, so it looks like he won't be granting her the gf title. I told him good, stick to your standards - I'm exactly the same, I don't commit to just any girl...".

 

[Desdinova]

Any woman with orbiters isn't worth taking seriously... at least until she gets rid of them.

Continue to date her. If she brings up the idea of being exclusive, that's when you let her know the orbiters have to go.

 

[MOTU]

Yea OP, good stuff above, and, I think if she is a quality girl she'll scale that sh!t back as she develops feelings for you. My GF was and is supercareful about anything that even appears to be uncool.

That being said, if you decide to address it, be really careful. It could make you appear jealous or needy. Either use a story or other example like BTL said or make a big joke out of it "haha that guy so-and-so on your FB is so sweet, I bet his BF loves him". Ok that was lame but you get the idea.

Now if it is HER actions that you need to set boundaries on, I would say call it out straight up.

 

[Zion]

My question is what do you do? Asking her to drop all of them sounds insecure and needy to the point not portraying my value. On the other hand they've started getting on nerves and I'd like her to cut them loose. What's the best way to handle this?

It doesn't sound insecure and needy. It is insecure and needy.

I don't get it. Every beautiful woman has orbiters. It's only an issue if she leeches self-esteem off of their attention in which case you got bigger problems to worry about anyway.

They won't go away even if she does try to cut them loose.

 

[salinechow]

I'd start by warming her up to idea that you have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to orbiters and exes by either using one of your friends or making up a story altogether (ex. "this girl my buddy is seeing wants to become official with him, but she refuses to sever contact with her male friends and exes, so it looks like he won't be granting her the gf title. I told him good, stick to your standards - I'm exactly the same, I don't commit to just any girl...".

Strong advice

 

[El Payaso]

You get plates of your own. A woman should be the one to worry about the attention you get from the opposite sex not the other way around.

 

[miketan70]

It doesn't sound like you are serious, just dating thing. If that becomes more serious then let her know what you don't like. The point of a good relationship is to be honest and to have compromises.

 

[Bingo-Player]

To be fair to her , orbiters are notoriously difficult to get rid of

They are often deaf and blind to rejection and cannot understand why she would not want him and his public affection

The best policy i find is to ridicule and laugh at them with her, in the past I’ve had plates in hysterics over the weak s*it these fools say to them

Keep your cool and don’t make a big deal out of it , it will dry her out

 

[mangotot]

Why don't you ensure there are women orbiting you too?

 

[Bingo-Player]

I have found that when "nice" girls for Fbook exclusive a good chunk of the legitimately nice guys, alphas, and/or butthurt nice guys will de-friend.

dont know what sort of social cricles you run in , pairs but i wish i was a part of them

the orbiters i have to deal with are like ****roaches