"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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post-hospital castration

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dannowillbookem

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yadda yadda in the hospital two weeeks boring shiit. back to the real life except, to put it lightly, i think my dicck is dysfunctional. i dont wanna go into great detail on a public forum, but im at a loss. my friends just thought it was a laugh and probably think im over it, but goddamnit i feel like a woman. i cant get ...there. i can get hard and **** but cant beat off. and i know i can break down the barrier with a bj, but fresh out i was over frisky and screwed my chances, and now that its been a month and a half since i've climaxed, well...im just too lazy now. its like when i quit pot, i kinda dont remember what it even feels like.

anyways now that all the people who cant help me have been disgusted, i have to beg anyone who went into the hospital for two weeks or so and have had your balls ripped off by it...what do you do? how do you get back to yourself?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Nighthawk

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I just had surgery on my ballsack (and armpit), and was banging away the next day. Perhaps you are gay. Do you ever dream about gladiators?
 
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Dimebag_Darrell

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you got castrated?!!!:eek:

If so, I'm sooo sorry!
 
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Fender

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..You can't be serious???

What happened mate? Testicular cancer?!?!

And outta curiosity...you get both of em' cut off or only one.

I sincerely hope this is a joke....
 
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S1NN3R

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Just keep trying sport, it'll come to you....


Bwaaahahahahhaahahhaha!!

Sorry. :)
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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dannowillbookem

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not castrated...idk if its the low blood pressure or the general exaustion, but i cant beat myself to orgasm. and im just too lazy/not inspired enough to go after it to have a girl do it for me, if it can happen.

and goddamn nighthawk. surgery on your junk and back to it next day? i feel like a monk
 
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brucevangeorge

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Synthetic Testosterone... aka Steroids?

If your balls ain't working you got to inject that good stuff into you.
 
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dannowillbookem

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BWAHAHA took a shower today and hadnt even bothered trying in the last week...and i made it! god that felt so fuccking good and im on this weird high feeling. mmm hell yeah that ended like fifty days of not emptying my balls

finalllllyyy
 
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S1NN3R

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Told you.... :D
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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