post date

[blackandred12]

I've been a long time lurker and decided to finally join in the community.

I just finished a date where I took the girl out to a walk and the park.

Things I felt I did right were
Conversationally connected. I never felt like I ran out of things to talk about, and I felt like I kept it interesting. Things I tried to introduce into the conversation were personal stories that were funny, questions that opened up things into her life, etc. I don't think it was perfect, but I did feel like I tried my best to keep a dominant frame. I had told her to memorize a song for us to sing together on the last time we met and busted her on her not remembering by the "we couldn't work out" line.
Try to escalate kino. As we tried to climb over a tree blocking our way, I took her hand and helped her climb over. In another time, I decided to teach her how to dance with me.

Parts I felt like I failed at
Going for the hand hold/and subsequently going for the kiss close. As I attempted to take her hand on the way back, I felt like I fumbled a bit and showed a little bit of hesitation. At another part, I put my hand out for her to take it so I could lead her down a path, but had to reach out myself and take it instead. I felt like the vibe was wrong and ended up just letting it go as we left.
On the way back, we walked through campus and another guy that she knew came up and talked to her about class. At this point I felt like I was getting close to being blown out, so I picked up my phone, made an excuse to go and said goodbye.

Anyways, after reading a bit, I definately think a problem I have to get over is asking myself whether or not the time is right for holding hands / kissing. I have to commit myself to doing it when I feel like it, and making her accept my reality. This should be tons easier the more confident I am in keeping a dominant frame.

As for other guys talking to this girl, normally I know you're supposed to engage in conversations with others, but I was walking with this girl back to her place, how do I approach this?

Coming back, I felt like the first half of the date was great, but I felt like the last part, as I tried to hold her hand and etc, I totally ****ed up keeping the right frame, came back home slightly dissapointed.

At this point, I'm not sure of what I should do. Should I be the one messaging her saying I had a great time/etc? We're in the same club, so another option would be to either wait for her to reinitiate contact or wait to see her at another event.

I feel like one of the hardest parts of field testing is getting detailed feedback on your results. I've been able to approach and number close and set up dates without flaking, but feel like after a date or two, I'm not able to keep interest up.

 

[Captain]

Should I be the one messaging her saying I had a great time/etc?.

No, you want her to wonder. Ladies like a little mystery.

 

[Igetit!]

I've been a long time lurker and decided to finally join in the community.

I just finished a date where I took the girl out to a walk and the park.

Things I felt I did right were
Conversationally connected. I never felt like I ran out of things to talk about, and I felt like I kept it interesting. Things I tried to introduce into the conversation were personal stories that were funny, questions that opened up things into her life, etc. I don't think it was perfect, but I did feel like I tried my best to keep a dominant frame.

From everything you said here,it seems like you did a good job to me. The fact that you had the wherewithal to keep having a dominant frame in mind is simply superb. Most guys just go into a date or an interaction with a woman just talking about anything not realizing that unless they appear to be the strong one between themselves and the girl,she won't be attracted. Also the having different emotional topics of conversation brought up by you is golden man. You really did your homework about this dating thing.

As for other guys talking to this girl, normally I know you're supposed to engage in conversations with others, but I was walking with this girl back to her place, how do I approach this?

Well,if he just approached to two while you walking her to her house,and he started talking to her,you probably could have said to her,"Hey,don't you know it's rude to not introduce me to your friends?",then before she would have a chance to speak,I'd turn to him and introduce myself. This would have kept you in the dominance frame over all three of you. But hey,if a situation just pops up like that without you knowing how to handle it,then I wouldn't consider you leaving like that a big deal.

At this point, I'm not sure of what I should do. Should I be the one messaging her saying I had a great time/etc?

I say no. For some reason,if a guy shows more interest inthe girl than the other way around,women find to a turnoff.

We're in the same club, so another option would be to either wait for her to reinitiate contact or wait to see her at another event.

Yeah,this is a good idea.

I feel like one of the hardest parts of field testing is getting detailed feedback on your results. I've been able to approach and number close and set up dates without flaking, but feel like after a date or two, I'm not able to keep interest up.

Believe it or not,this problem of not being able to keep the interest after a date or two isn't too hard to figure out. You just need to examine closely why this keep happening. If you can find the common denominator in like 3 to 4 dates,you should be able to find the solution.

But like I said,overall thumbs up man. Good job.

 

[blackandred12]

Thank you for the responses, I really appreciate the feedback as letting stuff bounce off people rather than the walls of your mind is great.

I've just broken through to the point where I've started to feel the effects of inner game rather than relying on routines and techniques. **** like being on your nimbus is super clear to me. Things like fumbling hand holds, awkward conversations, dissapointments in your outer game, I'm starting to appreciate all that. All the dates I've ****ed up in the past, it's helped me improve. Just like how you aren't scared of riding your bike without your hands the first couple of times, eventually you don't even think about it.

Update,
Alright, so I just recieved a text message from the girl saying "thanks for the little adventure on saturday. It was really fun and super cute. I really appreciated it"

I had a bunch of thoughts on this but really dont wanna overanalyze it. I'm thinking about calling her later to just chat for 10 min on things I want to talk about.