"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Post Break Up Advice

MedDude

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I am fresh out of a nearly 2 year relationship (she left me) with a girl that I considered a close friend for more than half my life. After the break up I decided to go no contact (didn't tell her I wanted space or anything, just did it) for my own sanity. 2 weeks in and no contact has been made by me whatsoever. About a week ago she sent me a text asking how I was doing and hoping I was ok. I didn't respond as I was still seething at the time but am thinking about responding to her now that I have had time to think about it as I would like to preserve the friendship. Keep in mind, the text she sent a week ago is the one I am considering responding to.

Any advice?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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jonhaul

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You sure you want to be her friend? Are you okay with her moving on and being romantic with other dudes? I mean are you completely over her and your not holding a false hope to get her back? These are important questions you gotta ask yourself.
 

MedDude

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At the moment, yes I do want her back, but I know that is not in my best interests. As time goes by, though, and I'm over it I would like to keep the friendship going, though. Would it be wise to tell her I want space or just keep quiet like I am already doing?
 

G_Govan

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MedDude said:
I am fresh out of a nearly 2 year relationship (she left me) with a girl that I considered a close friend for more than half my life. After the break up I decided to go no contact (didn't tell her I wanted space or anything, just did it) for my own sanity. 2 weeks in and no contact has been made by me whatsoever. About a week ago she sent me a text asking how I was doing and hoping I was ok. I didn't respond as I was still seething at the time but am thinking about responding to her now that I have had time to think about it as I would like to preserve the friendship. Keep in mind, the text she sent a week ago is the one I am considering responding to.

Any advice?
Do not reconnect with her, it's done. She's contacting you out of guilt to appease her own ego, it isn't because of the "friendship." Don't give her the satisfaction.

Moving on will strengthen you, believe me, many of us have been in this situation. New p-ssy will have you feeling like a king in no time, but you have to let this go. That's what no contact is meant to do. Answering this text means all respect is lost for you unless you respond with something like "I'm in a relationship at the moment, please don't contact me any more."

***On second thought, too much time has passed. I wouldn't respond at all.
 

Kailex

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MedDude said:
At the moment, yes I do want her back, but I know that is not in my best interests. As time goes by, though, and I'm over it I would like to keep the friendship going, though. Would it be wise to tell her I want space or just keep quiet like I am already doing?
Just keep quiet... for your own sake.

You say you are okay with just being a friend. Don't do it. Please, because you won't know how to separate your emotionality from this woman. What happens when you two as friends suddenly start to discuss how she has plans to go out on a date with some other guy.

Will you be okay with that?

You want less drama in your life... make new male friends. Go out and meet new women. You are just going through a bit of separation anxiety right now. You even admit that it's not in your best interests... so why even consider it?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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