Possibly moving out of the friendzone?

[Alex DeLarge]

BACKGROUND
I have known this girl for 7ish years and we have been pretty good friends. I never really had any romantic interest in her since all of my friends were orbiting around her like a goddess since we were in highschool, although I also found her to be really cute.

She's not the type of girl that blabs on to me about her issues or calls immediately after she had a fight with her boyfriend. We usually just hangout and have a good time together.


STORY

So recently, I went out to a bar with some friends on a friday night. Ran into this girl who I had been friends with for a while. We both got pretty drunk and danced. She kept kissing me on the cheek and asked if she could sleep over my place. At the end of the night I said to her "Hey you ready to go" and she said she was getting a ride from her friend to just go home. No big deal to me.

Saturday night, run into this girl again at a friend's party. The same thing happened as last night. The girl and I danced, flirted, and she kept kissing me on the cheek. The night ends and I walk her back to her place (She lived walking distance away.) She hugs me for a while and continues to kiss me on the cheek, then I went for the Kiss Close and she turned her head to make sure it wasn't on the lips. (She was pretty drunk, but it was obvious that it was on purpose.) I just gave her a smile and told her I'd see her some other time.

I also found out this night from one of our mutual friends she had just recently broken up with her boyfriend.

The next day she's hitting up my facebook page commenting my pictures saying I looked good and sh1t. Texts me if im gonna be around next weekend. I tell her "I probably will be, but I'm not 100%. Just call me when you're in town".



Now, forgive me if I seem to be overanalyzing this situation.. But it seems like there are several possibilities here

1.) Both nights she was drunk, and may not have had full control over herself and what she was doing.

2.) She's on the rebound from her recent ex boyfriend and just wants to fvck. (I'm cool with this as long as it doesn't ruin our friendship.)

3.) She's just an AW, although she definitely does not act the same way around other guys from what I've seen.

4.) She actually has romantic interest in me.

I'd just like to see what the people on SS think of this situation.

 

[loveshogun]

I have a couple of questions for you:

1) Are you -really- interested in this girl?

2) Is it really bothering you enough to ask for advice online?

3) Either ask her out (instead of just running into her), or date other women. Sorry, that's not a question, but that's what I'm trying to lead you towards.

You were spot on with the over-analyzing part, because there's nothing here to analyze. Nothing has happened between you and this girl. I party with girls all the time. They flirt. They dance. They kiss. It's what they do.

If I'm interested in a girl, I put myself out there. That DOESN'T mean spilling my guts and talking about my feelings. It means asking her out, showing her a good time, and spending some effort. If she digs me, she responds in obvious ways, meaning I never have a doubt as to whether she is interested in me.

The key driver here, is not figuring out what she wants. Figure out what YOU want, and just go for it.

If she doesn't dig you - so what? It'll be the exact same situation as the last 7 years you'd known her.

I think you're looking for an easy lay, and in doing so are starting to become aware of your self-doubt. There are no easy lays. We just get better at getting laid - work on it.

If I sounded harsh, didn't mean to. Good luck out there, bruddah.

 

[mahoney]

the so called "friendzone" is really a type of behavior you to choose to exhibit

its perfectly plausible you could sleep with this girl

 

[Alex DeLarge]

the so called "friendzone" is really a type of behavior you to choose to exhibit

its perfectly plausible you could sleep with this girl

I agree Mahoney. As long as you have not let the girl who happens to be your friend use you in any sort of way it's completely possible. A couple of friends of mine have hooked up with girls they are friends with many times.

 

[BadNews]

the so called "friendzone" is really a type of behavior you to choose to exhibit

its perfectly plausible you could sleep with this girl

^^ Exactly!

If you're interested in the girl persue her, its that simple. Because you've been friends for a while, don't go TOO overboard switching gears as it may come off as creepy. But let your intentions be known and persue with CONFIDENCE! What have you got to lose?

In my opinion, you could easily sleep with her...but because she's on the rebound I'd be skeptical about a relationship, but hey, who knows right? She seems interested enough at least. Ask her out on a date!