"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Possibly got out of friendzone....could use some opinions

El Don

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So theres this girl I have worked with for a little over a year. I have always liked her but from the time I started working there to until about a month or so ago she with another guy. Anyway, I didn't waste my time trying to get her if she was taken even though she did flirt several times with me. We had hung out before in groups with other friends but never by ourselves. I had obviously thought I was in the friendzone since she was taken and even after she broke up with the guy.

I decided yesterday to ask her out to lunch today and she agreed and we went and we met up at the place. Then today I thought I would make a move and just ask her on a date. I didn't think she would consider the lunch today a date so I wanted to make sure that I was clear I was interested in her more than friends and wanted to take her out on a date. I told her I wanted to take her out again and that I would call her to make plans later to see this movie we were talking about and that we would make it a date. She kind of smiled and then said kinda joking around "well then you would have to pick me up for that"...obviously meaning since we had both met up there seperately for lunch that would make it more official I guess to pick her up next time duh.

Call me crazy but I would have rather just liked a more straight up answer and I feel maybe she didn't take me seriously and that I was just joking around but I never said it joking around when I asked her since we have been friends for a while. Then again maybe I am pessimistic that because she actually agreed to it since I usually am not very good with girls. Anyway I would like your opinion on if an answer like that would be a legit answer because I would have thought she would just say yes. Also anything that I could say to make it more clear that I am serious about dating her. I know I am a rookie when it comes to this so some help please
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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WC2

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Remember, women don't care how serious you are about them until they actually are attracted to you. In most cases, it's a turn off to women. Have fun with her first, make her laugh, and then become serious about going on dates with her.

Some of the best relationships start with no planning.. you don't have to plan a date and take her out to gain her attraction. Hell, take her for a walk outside or something. Taking a girl out to dinner right away is a big mistake a lot of clueless men make. Be creative, make sure it's something fun, and don't be so serious. It's a turn off.
 

El Don

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WC2 said:
Remember, women don't care how serious you are about them until they actually are attracted to you. In most cases, it's a turn off to women. Have fun with her first, make her laugh, and then become serious about going on dates with her.

Some of the best relationships start with no planning.. you don't have to plan a date and take her out to gain her attraction. Hell, take her for a walk outside or something. Taking a girl out to dinner right away is a big mistake a lot of clueless men make. Be creative, make sure it's something fun, and don't be so serious. It's a turn off.
I see your point and your right but I just wanted her to see that I wanted to be more than friends
 

IamtheAlphamale

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Personally I don't know about the whole friend zone. I read part of your message and I gotta say IF you go for this chick, you can't treat her the same as they say to treat her here. Depending on how close you guys were anyways. Use your descretion. If you guys are super close buddies who just don't hang out together by yourself your gonna have to give more attention to her than just some cold approach. I personally don't believe in the friend zone since every girl I've ever gotten close with has always developed a crush on me. That whole friend zone **** is bs I'm telling you this now.
 
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