Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Possible opportunity? Or forget it? Advice needed.

phobius

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My crush from high school posted on our 20 yr reunion web site that she is now single (etc) but did not respond to my email via that site. Also, I didn't catch her at the reunion. A friend and I are now setting up a second, smaller more low key reunion. Do I email (or even call) her and let her know I'd like to invite her and catch up? Or take the initial non response as a lack of interest and move on?

And if I do get in touch, how to handle the situation? I'm pretty much over it (after being interested for a while when I found her on the site) and I even have a girlfriend of sorts... so I'm feeling pretty casual about this possible opportunity. What would you do?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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jophil28

Master Don Juan
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phobius said:
My crush from high school posted on our 20 yr reunion web site that she is now single (etc) but did not respond to my email via that site. Also, I didn't catch her at the reunion. A friend and I are now setting up a second, smaller more low key reunion. Do I email (or even call) her and let her know I'd like to invite her and catch up? Or take the initial non response as a lack of interest and move on?

And if I do get in touch, how to handle the situation? I'm pretty much over it (after being interested for a while when I found her on the site) and I even have a girlfriend of sorts... so I'm feeling pretty casual about this possible opportunity. What would you do?
Shoot her an invite email in the usual C&F style.
" Hey, ......I note that you did not reply to my previous email .Still playing "hard to get eh ?"
OK ,anyways the guys are putting together a more INTIMATE reunion soon for all the A list people and I convinced them to include you...and they finally agreed so get back to me if you want to be in the photos with ME on the night ...Phobius ".
 

AIRWARRIOR71

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20 yrs is a lotta time for things to change in your memory and in her memory, I agree with MisterMcGee and Jophil28 to play it cool on the invite, then see how she reacts to you in person. I would very seriously watch out for falling into AFC status because you have her eyed up as a prize after 20 yrs. Go into the situation with curiosity if she agrees to join up, BUT!! make sure not to get ahead of yourself and expect something that hasn't happened in 20 yrs to all of a sudden happen now! I can tell you from experience that it could be easy to let the passage of time make all things look a lot rosier than they really are. Have fun with it and see who ELSE shows up too! Don't tunnel vision yourself!
 

thedeparted

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God, man, get over it. 20 years! I would not talk to any of those stuck up bltches I longed for then if I saw them today. Plus, they are too old. Go for a girl who was in grade school when you were in high school.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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