"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Popping the Relationship Question

KSoze

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Okay, so ive been seeing this girl about 2 a week for just a little over a month now. I've been taking her on dates; dinner, amusement parks, games, drinking, etc. We slept together on 2nd date.

She is always writing me telling me she cant wait to see me again. She went on vacation to the beach last week and she texts me telling me "i wish you were here so we could take a walk on beach together...its gonna seem like forever till i see you again"...so, i suppose her interest is high? If not, she is playing a darn good game.

How long should i wait before i ask whether she wants to be in a relationship with me. I dont wanna do it too soon because sometimes that scares them away if you are rushing into things. Yet at same time, i REALLY like her and i dont wanna waste my freaking time on something thats going nowhere.

Also, this girl has been out of a 3 year relationship only two months now...her ex cheated on her and she is never talking to him again (yeah i know useless info)...but maybe that has some bearing on whether or not i should wait longer??

I know she aint using me to buy her stuff, because heck she's bought me dinner a few times...and she aint using me for sex because quite honestly our current living arrangements and schedule dont allow us to have sex very much...we're both moving so thats gonna change within next week or so. Just seems like she is genuinely interested in me.

Anywhoo, need some advice...should i bring it up next time her and i go out (tomorrow)...OR forget it and just continue preceding without saying anything...what do i do?

BTW, this is probably the first woman ive ever dated personally that didnt exhibit some psychotic behavior :)...she seems stable, sweet, has a good heart...thats why im here :p
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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penkitten

Master Don Juan
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how many dates have you been on?
what do you want out a relationship with her?
what are your dating goals? what are hers?

have you discussed anything like this yet?
 

fedagent

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You shouldn't ask her to do anything. If her interest level is high enough, she will pop the question to you. Usually within about six weeks of this kind of dating I get the "What are we?" question.

If you ask her to be your gf, you take a big risk, especially if you like her that much. Trust me, I've seen IL go from sky high to nothing on $hit less than this.

Bottom line, If she wants to be, you won't need to ask.

Fed
 

Obsidian

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it sounds like you're in a relationship already. Don't formalize it, or you will just seem that much less smooth in her eyes. Let her bring up the subject if she wants to.

terrible advice, godsgift
 
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You filled her with your sperm after a few hours of knowing her - what is soooooo special about that? Just keep pimping her - quit getting so damn attached - leave that for women!!!
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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KSoze

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fedagent said:
You shouldn't ask her to do anything. If her interest level is high enough, she will pop the question to you. Usually within about six weeks of this kind of dating I get the "What are we?" question.

If you ask her to be your gf, you take a big risk, especially if you like her that much. Trust me, I've seen IL go from sky high to nothing on $hit less than this.

Bottom line, If she wants to be, you won't need to ask.

Fed
Thats what i was thinking...that i should just wait for the woman to bring it up. If she wants it to go there, she'll most likely tell me eventually.

I figured if i asked it would seem like maybe i was desperate for a relationship....come off as somewhat needy. As long as i dont bring it up she may have in back of her mind that im still dating other women, so she has to compete for my time, which will make me more desirable...bleh, i dont know how to explain it...hehehehe

I dont think we are already in a relationship either...we both still have "single" listed on our myspace profile after all...and you know how much that means...LOL

I guess im gonna play it cool and let nature run its course.
 

fedagent

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That's exactly what I did with my current "gf". We're actually just seeing eachother but I've gotten the "What are we" question three times now, all asked in different ways.

If you control the frame, meet new people even when she's with you, use C+F, you'll do just fine. She'll pop the relationship question and seal the deal as soon as she can. Especially to overcome the fear of you meeting a shinier object than herself.

Fed
 
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