poll: unmarried women after 30

[joekerr31]

ok gents, what do you all think of women who have yet to marry after by 30?

comments welcome.

J

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Too bad you didn't put, "matured too soon" as a choice

 

[WestCoaster]

Great topic

Good stuff joekerr, as usual ...

Having dated this population a lot, these women are complex. My examples from the past two years:

1. Very hot broad who went through guys like a hot knife through butter (including me). Ph.d. and a former Miss of her state, was in Miss America pageant. Said she wanted one type of guy, would date another. One of the few I dated and remained friends -- all because of this board. I was AFCing, pointed to this board, read most of it, and chilled out. When she pulled away I just acted like nothing happened (I did my AFCing in private) ... she still thinks I'm Mr. Calm, Cool, and Collected ... though I'm not always. She FINALLY met a great guy and married him. Sadly, her self-esteem -- despite her hotness and brains -- is dictated by men.

2. A gal, 31 or so, very cute, intelligent (master's degree/works at a university), extremely independent. Talks to much, but is funny at times. East Coast sassy attitude, smokin' hot body. Complains guys just use her ... but she allows herself to be used. (Again, met her in grad school.) Got to a point where I told her I wanted to pursue things more seriously, got LJBFed, which was disappointing mostly because I thought she wouldn't have a canned, Hollywood answer, and would have something insightful. Sadly, she didn't. She lives far, far away now ... we barely stay in touch. Victim mentality. Despite brains and hot body, I can't see her being married.

3. 30ish gal I met at work. Average looks, very intelligent. Complains about guys dumping her ... when actually they were just dates, not relationships. On the first date, told me she had a "partner" a guy she was serious with (despite that SHE asked me out and took me to dinner and a movie ... uh, where was the "partner"?) HUGE clue came when I was at her apartment, she had the Encyclopedia of Bi-Sexuality on her desk ... and it was there for over a month. Shoot, I should've finagled a threesome out of her. LOL! Won't ever get married, IMO.

4. Mid-30's gal I'm currently pursuing, met at work (I work at a university). Best of the bunch, super warm heart, cute as hell ... but is cagey about her past with guys, is more focused on work than men ... that's why I'm dating others and not just her. My guess: Could get married or not.

Sorry for the long novel ... my guess is if they're 30+ and super highly educated, men become less of a priority. My problem is I like women who actually have brains.

 

[Dark Nimbus]

Well in my sisters case, who is 29, she's still not married because her boyfriend is a puzzy and scared of taking that step, so they've been together for almost 5 years now with no plans of marriage in the works. She's too stupidly loyal to leave him, so they're both getting older and nothings happening. It's pretty sad actually. I mean either step up to the plate and marry a chick, or fvck them and leave them. Why drag someone along because you're indecisive when you know they're ready to get married?

Anyways, just wanted to mention that because it's not always entirely the girls choice to be un-married. Too many guys are just scared to commit.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Originally posted by Dark Nimbus
Well in my sisters case, who is 29, she's still not married because her boyfriend is a puzzy and scared of taking that step, so they've been together for almost 5 years now with no plans of marriage in the works. She's too stupidly loyal to leave him, so they're both getting older and nothings happening. It's pretty sad actually. I mean either step up to the plate and marry a chick, or fvck them and leave them. Why drag someone along because you're indecisive when you know they're ready to get married?

Anyways, just wanted to mention that because it's not always entirely the girls choice to be un-married. Too many guys are just scared to commit.

This is probably the biggest myth ever sustained by feminized society - "Men are afraid to commit." This should go right up there beside "Men have fragile egoes." All this feminized, Carl Jungian pop-psychology crap does is serve to shame (mostly AFC) men into thinking that they're "doing the right thing" by marrying women they would probably do better not to marry.

Why is this guy a puzzy for not marrying her yet she isn't for not moving onto someone better for her? Name one benefit that a man can get in marriage that he can't in being single and reasonably successful? It's not commitment that guy's are fearful of it's a lifetime of liability and responsibility and the limitations that come with that that makes guys pause and hesitate - and with damn good reason I might add. But now this feminine tactic to shame men into thinking that they're not living up to their responsibilities or are made 'infantile' for not accepting what women (mistakenly) think should be their obligation, is now being parroted by feminized guys. When's the last time you heard of a woman being vilified for turning down a marriage proposal? Who's going to tell her she's a childish, insecure b!tch afraid of committment? No one. In fact she'd be congratulated for being firm and prudent, and then patted on the back for her selectiveness. But not the guy who holds off from popping the question. He's a puzzy and a boy who hasn't grown up yet.

 

[WestCoaster]

Good post Rollo!

Excellent points as always. Somewhere back in the 1980's (perhaps earlier) man bashing in all forms was cropping up. Whole books have been written about men's so-called inability to grow up ("The Peter Pan Syndrome").

Never mind that men bust their balls trying to establish a career and work hard most of their lives. It's extremely competitive out there in the job market today, so many more people are degreed and certified. Low-paying jobs are even competitive, yet men are never congratulated for working hard to get degreed or certified, for working hard, or providing for a family.

"The Peter Pan Syndrome" is a bunch of B.S. Yeah, there are immature men out there, and I've met women into their 30's and 40's who still like to "party" and are immature as anyone. They are left out of the criticism.

Many guys want to commit, but to the right woman. We have living proof amongst us every day on what not to marry. Observe the fat, out of shape broad who is smoking; look at the once-nice woman who married your friend who is now a complete b-tch. Some guys want to pass on the lifetime of misery and build a life for themselves, or at least wait for that rare gal who is nice and supportive.

 

[Desdinova]

Women 30 and over fall under many categories...

Educated
This is the woman who spent her 20s in school trying to develope a career for herself. Smart, making decent cash, and childless. The last one is what will most likely destroy her. A woman like this in her 30s will stop, listen, and hear <tic toc tic toc> and say, "Oh 5hit!! Menopause is around the corner!!! I need to start a family!"

Nutballs
These are the women that no guy wants. They drive men away from them with their 5hitty attitudes and rotting looks. Then they b1tch about how they can't find a good man.

Divorced or Separated
The women who most likely married too young, Married some dude that abused the hell out of them, or stayed with the same loser for too long. They're damaged goods and many of them also fall under the "Nutball" category

Divorced or Separated with Kids
These are the ones who don't have to worry about their biological clocks ticking because they already have kids. Now they need a babysitter so they can go out, have the fun they missed out on in their 20s, and find some guy who will help her raise her family.

Man-haters
Usually a dyke or on the verge of becoming a dyke. They're been so screwed around by men that they don't want to get married. "I am womyn, I need not a man!"

Dyke
Can either be an admitted lesbian or lesbian in denial. Will never marry a man.

There's also other women who fall under much smaller categories. Either way, the pickings are slim for men wanting a decent woman in her 30s.

 

[WestCoaster]

Epic Desdinova ... other insights

Wow, spot on the money Desdinova. That should be archived ... I think I've dated every category ... yes, sadly the dykes, too, who kept that little secret hidden. LOL!

Interesting observation here ... I work at a university advising students. Here's my take on the 18-25 woman. Of course they look great (that part of the job is tough! LOL!), but I've noticed an unbounding optimism. College girls today are in shape, they work out like crazy, they like to laugh and have fun, they don't take guys so seriously (many are experiementing sexually and that's fine), and they actually like their studies.

They have yet to hate men, they actually love men and enjoy being around them. I find their attitudes tremendous and I can recall back to my undergrad days, it was very similar. This age group of women is truly outstanding.

But then darkness sets in. From late 20's on, sadly, these bright, optimistic, fun-loving, smart, witty women go down the shi-ter. And I'm not talking in looks, many maintain their looks.

The older students I advise say, "I married the wrong guy, he was mean, abusive, angry" etc. They hung their hopes on a man -- most likely an angry, AFC man -- but this misstep or two (or three or four) is the deal-breaker.

It's sad really ... I'm not going to go on a woman-hating binge here. But the problems arise from dad and mom not telling these women whom to date (or they did and chicky is rebelling). The bad boy thing has a more than 90 percent failure rate and women cannot change these guys. Book upon book has said this, yet they gravitate toward it.

The young men I advise? Many are drifting a bit, some are very career-oriented, they don't quite have the optimism of the young women, they're more serious. But over time, they get better. The older men I advise aren't bitter, they're optimistic.

So the pyramid for women is inverted. They start out optimistic and turn cynical; men start cynical and turn optimistic ... well, that's my generalization from meeting more than a 1,000 students at my job.

Another man-hating book will not serve the female population well.

A women's DJ site is definitely needed.

 

[dietzcoi]

Westcoaster, it has been a long time since I read a post from you...

I myself cannot get online very often anymore.. but I am occasionally lurking out here!

Women over 30... don't get me started!! I do not know if there are any women on this earth who are not nuts, nuts, nuts!!

Dietzcoi

 

[Immaculate]

Originally posted by Desdinova
Women 30 and over fall under many categories...

Educated
This is the woman who spent her 20s in school trying to develope a career for herself. Smart, making decent cash, and childless. The last one is what will most likely destroy her. A woman like this in her 30s will stop, listen, and hear <tic toc tic toc> and say, "Oh 5hit!! Menopause is around the corner!!! I need to start a family!"

Nutballs
These are the women that no guy wants. They drive men away from them with their 5hitty attitudes and rotting looks. Then they b1tch about how they can't find a good man.

Divorced or Separated
The women who most likely married too young, Married some dude that abused the hell out of them, or stayed with the same loser for too long. They're damaged goods and many of them also fall under the "Nutball" category

Divorced or Separated with Kids
These are the ones who don't have to worry about their biological clocks ticking because they already have kids. Now they need a babysitter so they can go out, have the fun they missed out on in their 20s, and find some guy who will help her raise her family.

Man-haters
Usually a dyke or on the verge of becoming a dyke. They're been so screwed around by men that they don't want to get married. "I am womyn, I need not a man!"

Dyke
Can either be an admitted lesbian or lesbian in denial. Will never marry a man.

There's also other women who fall under much smaller categories. Either way, the pickings are slim for men wanting a decent woman in her 30s.

You left out "never married and single with a kid"

 

[WestCoaster]

Stay away from those Immaculate ... those are about half of one percent of women out there. I know one, and she's a basket case.

At least the divorced ones with kids at one time had the pride and dignitity to get married at one time.

Women with a kid or kids who has never been married? They don't get much respect in my book ... and neither does the man who donated the sperm.

 

[Immaculate]

Originally posted by WestCoaster
Stay away from those Immaculate ... those are about half of one percent of women out there. I know one, and she's a basket case.

At least the divorced ones with kids at one time had the pride and dignitity to get married at one time.

Women with a kid or kids who has never been married? They don't get much respect in my book ... and neither does the man who donated the sperm.

What if the guy didn't want the kid, and the girl wasn't down for an abortion, so the guy just bailed out on her?

 

[WestCoaster]

Well, in that circumstance, I admire the woman more than the man. Hopefully the woman will find a classy guy to marry; kids without fathers is not a good thing. It's not always a disaster, but a kid has a better chance with a father.

 

[Immaculate]

Originally posted by WestCoaster
Well, in that circumstance, I admire the woman more than the man. Hopefully the woman will find a classy guy to marry; kids without fathers is not a good thing. It's not always a disaster, but a kid has a better chance with a father.

A guy who would do that isn't a man, he's a rat.

 

[TheTrimReaper]

I just had my 34th birthday this week. And my ex, who I thought I was going to marry was 24. I want to get back out there and find a woman, but the age thing is now a concern for me.

I don't want a girl who is under 24, and I don't want a girl who is my age. It's stressing me a little. And reading this post about women in their 30's doesn't paint a pretty picture. In your experience, do girls from 24-30 think that a 34-year-old man is too old for them? I know my ex was that age, but she always liked older guys. I don't know if most girls are that way.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

REAPER: It all depends on your own situation. I'm 37 and married with a kid, and I can tell you that I've had to turn down 25 y.o. girls (some who knew I was married) that were down with my attitude with them. I had a training buddy of mine who's 50 and divorced with grown kids who had a girlfriend of 35 and her younger friends wanted to get with him. The guy was a natural DJ and projected confidence, could bench more than me and was a successful, professional headhunter. The guy was a magnet at 50.

Hot , younger women will only use the "you're too old" card if it serves them better than an LJBF, which it usually does with older guys.

On the older women tip check this article out:

Are Men Necessary?

I generally like Maureen Dowd politically, but she drops in my esteem when she blows off about men. This is a critique on her book 'Are Men Even Necessary?', but before you write her off as another bitter old woman unable to get over herself, try to realize that she is just an illustration of what this type of woman sees herself and men "her equal" as an endemic problem. It's exactly what I was refering to in my previous posts.

Women like this grind their teeth at night because they believe that men of their own (inflated?) calibre are too immature to handle 'real women', of intellect and status. This 'modern woman' role has sold the idea to them that it's men who have the problem when they, not surprisingly, prefer women younger and less established women than themselves. They're sold the idea that men are hopless, cavemen unable to appreciate what anyone should be able to see; that they ought to be irresistable (even moreso than their 22 y.o. competition) based soley on their intellect and professionalism. And as a remedy for this (and to protect their own egoes and life decisions) they're told that men "feel threatened by their accomplishments" and they're "protecting their fragile egoes."

A career man rarely sees a career woman as a good choice for a wife, not because he's threatened by her status, but because he's known and worked with enough of them once he's reached 35+ years of age to steer well clear of them.

Men, generally, could care less what kind of money a woman makes or what she does to earn it. Men's only condition for intimacy is (and should be) physical attraction. The idea that a man should respect and be attracted to a woman based on her professional status is a fallacy brought to us by the same faction that sold women the 'you can have it all' lie. The main contradiction being that men want sex and determine acceptability of the opposite sex based on the physical, not status, not money, not professionalism. We reserve our estimations of other men based on these traits, so unsuprisingly it becomes counterproductive for women to expect sexual acceptability based on characteristics for which we're accustomed to evaluating our own sex with. It should also be understood that these are the same traits women use to determine their own conditions for intimacy - men are naturally attracted to feminine characteristics and women attracted to the masculine. Again, it's another attempt to force the rules of the game into a different set of conditions rather than attempting to better win the existing game by playing it better.

And lastly, if a woman's come to the point of questioning whether or not 'Men are Even Necessary", why would she even have a desire to be married? Because it's a biological imperative for women to want this security. In the same degree that men produce testosterone, women secrete estrogen and oxytocin, hormones that engender (pun intended) feelings of nurturing and safety.

 

[WestCoaster]

The pyramids ...

... and I'm not talking about the ones in Egypt.

As I noted earlier from my observations of working at a university. Women have an inverted pyramid where they're great in their early 20's and most go downhill after that; men are clumsy, binge-drinking oafs in their early 20's (not all, but many) and get better as they get older.

I'm not talking about looks, I'm talking about personality.

Like I said, I meet with dozens of college men and women each week. Hey, no wonder men like to date younger women: In their early 20's till about 25, they're fun, happy, positive, healthy -- and get this: they love men. They laugh at their jokes, they like hanging out with them, they like dating them, they like sleeping with them. Men are not yet evil.

But in the mid- to late-20's, the b-tch epidemic sets in. The woman has dated one too many a-holes (usually her fault, but she blames the men) and starts hating men and everything they stand for. Oh, they may be heterosexual, but they still dislike men. They get the victim mentality.

Sadly, you can see this turning from age 26-30, and it's usually fully set in by mid-30's. The American woman: Something great at 20-25; ruined by 35 ... at least that's my perspective.

 

[joekerr31]

west, you know i was having a thought today.

part of me wonders if women dont ultimately hate themselves.

i mean, think about it. the are forced (well you know what i mean) to put on make up, get their hair done, wear high heals, etc.

i mean, imagine if society imposed those kinds of conditions on men? would we feel valuable in our core? i think we'd feel like our basic selves, without all the make up and bullsh*t, was completely unvalued.

so in many ways i think society conditions women to never truly value themselves, but rather value the impression/image they can attain.

in this sense, a woman's life is one of continual degredation. she watches her boobs drag, her skin wrinkle, her ass grow, etc... she is constantly living in a world where even at her peak she knows her value has nothing to do with her intrinsic self, but rather the superficialities of her being. as she starts to get over the hill (say around 30) she realizes that she can't even keep up the "image" of value.

at this point they become a b*tch. i dont think women hate men at all, or at least i dont think its natural to (unless you've been raped or something). I think they hate their failing status in society in relation to their superficial value and in turn simply become bitter.

whereas with men, we also notice that we are no longer that young hot stud sacking quarterbacks, BUT, soceity values us more and more.

we run the economy. we run the companies. we make the money. we have power status and financial rewards. we become distinguished!
plus, for a man its much easier to look good. any man who hits the gym for 6 months seriously will look pretty good after.

anyway, just a thought i had today.

i've begun to think that most women are messed in the head because they have no sense of self value. they know the lingo from watching Dr. Phil, so they'll tell you they do. but at the end of the day i think they live their lives always caring what OTHERS think of them.

its a sad sad life. and it also explains why 95% of women out there think of themselves as victims - always complaining that others arent giving them what they need and sh*t.

if men truly understood the inner psyche of most women i think they'd be really upset with themselves the way they put them up on pedastals.

J

 

[KarmaSutra]

This is a topic I'm aware of personally. My ex-wife had a daughter from a previous marriage. When I met my ex-wife she was still married to her first husband and ,in my ****eyed optimism, I assumed I could do the unthinkable and turn a 'Ho into a houewife. I was wrong. As soon as she hit thirty the c0ck clock started to (tic-tock tic-tock) in her head and she had to go out and validate missing out on the fun in her twenties. So she began hanging out with the other bitter over thirty slizuts from work and started getting $100 hair cuts and going on "weekends with the girls".

It wasn't long afterwards she went to Oklahoma and banged a 23year old redneck.


Needless to say, I wouldn't give two squirts of piss or a crusty booger for the ex, but me and my step daughter are still close.

Point is, Once they hit thirty there is a fundamental change in both personality and value system.


You guys have very very good points. Hope my example will help somebody else.


Karma

 

[WestCoaster]

Good (and sad) example Karma

Yep, can't turn a ho into a housewife, good line, sad and true.

The problemo (IMO) is they don't sow their wild oats in their 20's like guys do. Oh, some do, but really they don't. I've seem more mid-30's ho's go to Vegas for the f-ck-a-thons than 20-somethings. Many 30 somethings have absolutely no morals or code of ethics.

Joekerr is right, too: Their self-esteem is based on external, not internal factors. Very sad.

Remember the inverted pyramid: Women are awesome 18-25 years old, bright, bubbly, fun to be around, most love men (the ones that don't are bitter b-tches), their life ahead of them. At 26 and above they start going down the wrong path and don't know how to get back on track (not all, but many).

Guy's pyramid: Unfocused, party-hearty early on, pick up steam after 25. I've rarely seen the pyramids go the other way.