Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Ohhh, that's what's going on! I had no clue that was what he meant!iqqi said:
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
poking fun at self to express confidence
- Thread starter mofro
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
my bad. I must have missed that post when I looked through the thread. I found it and understand everything now. Whew, thought you were discussing the thread via PM or something. Then decided to randomly post a PM on the message board. Now that would be comic.iqqi said:
My bad.
comic_relief
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
It's just making fun of your shortcomings, but that would mean that the shortcoming actually exists. So does that mean that you are actually as ugly as you joke to be?comic_relief said:
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
well now you guys can see what I look at what I actually look like.Francisco d'Anconia said:It's just making fun of your shortcomings, but that would mean that the shortcoming actually exists. So does that mean that you are actually as ugly as you joke to be?
http://www.myspace.com/comic_relief01
comic_relief
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
Example from today in AIM (this is exactly how I would do it in real life):
"Sarah": ... I don't wanna read alex's paper ... wanna come over and do that for me?? haha
halay615: only if I can sleep in your bed because I ain't walking my ass back over
halay615: if I have to walk all the way back to Gilbert
"Sarah": ummmmm tempting but i do want my own bed and y the hell does he bother me to help him???? haha
"Sarah": pain in the butt
halay615: good point, why would anyone ask you for help?
halay615:
"Sarah": oh thanks I just have good ideas and realize easy ways to remember things and ya know I'm not smart or anything ...
"Sarah": like I don't belong in college
"Sarah": haha
halay615: hmmm... its got to be your tits and a nice body
"Sarah": wait what??
halay615: couldn't be that your smart or intelligent
halay615:
"Sarah": HEY mean!!!
"Sarah": I don't like you anymore
halay615: I didn't know that you ever did like me
"Sarah": yes hun the past like 5 months were just for the hell of it and for the sex haha
halay615: don't forget a trophey boytoy to show off to your friends
"Sarah": exactly u figured me out
halay615: ah, damn I'm good
"Sarah": haha u wish u were half as good as russell (ex-boyfriend who only lasted five minutes)
"Sarah": haha
halay615: damn straight
halay615: need to get some tips from him and Matt (a person who controls his girlfriend so much that she is not allowed out of his sight and won't let her hang out with her friends)
"Sarah": miss ya kinda maybe and I will talk to u soonish
"Sarah": oh lord
halay615: haha, you just wish that I died
"Sarah": noooooo nnnneeeevvvveeeeerrrrr
halay615: so you would have your whole bed for the rest of the semester
"Sarah": haha whole bed????? now that makes it tough
halay615: I knew it. thats all you want
halay615: me dead
halay615: and maybe somebody smaller like Russell or a midget
"Sarah": haha sure
halay615: midgets don't take up much space. all you have to do is feed and let him go to the bathroom every once and a while
"Sarah": haha '
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comic_relief
"Sarah": ... I don't wanna read alex's paper ... wanna come over and do that for me?? haha
halay615: only if I can sleep in your bed because I ain't walking my ass back over
halay615: if I have to walk all the way back to Gilbert
"Sarah": ummmmm tempting but i do want my own bed and y the hell does he bother me to help him???? haha
"Sarah": pain in the butt
halay615: good point, why would anyone ask you for help?
halay615:
"Sarah": oh thanks I just have good ideas and realize easy ways to remember things and ya know I'm not smart or anything ...
"Sarah": like I don't belong in college
"Sarah": haha
halay615: hmmm... its got to be your tits and a nice body
"Sarah": wait what??
halay615: couldn't be that your smart or intelligent
halay615:
"Sarah": HEY mean!!!
"Sarah": I don't like you anymore
halay615: I didn't know that you ever did like me
"Sarah": yes hun the past like 5 months were just for the hell of it and for the sex haha
halay615: don't forget a trophey boytoy to show off to your friends
"Sarah": exactly u figured me out
halay615: ah, damn I'm good
"Sarah": haha u wish u were half as good as russell (ex-boyfriend who only lasted five minutes)
"Sarah": haha
halay615: damn straight
halay615: need to get some tips from him and Matt (a person who controls his girlfriend so much that she is not allowed out of his sight and won't let her hang out with her friends)
"Sarah": miss ya kinda maybe and I will talk to u soonish
"Sarah": oh lord
halay615: haha, you just wish that I died
"Sarah": noooooo nnnneeeevvvveeeeerrrrr
halay615: so you would have your whole bed for the rest of the semester
"Sarah": haha whole bed????? now that makes it tough
halay615: I knew it. thats all you want
halay615: me dead
halay615: and maybe somebody smaller like Russell or a midget
"Sarah": haha sure
halay615: midgets don't take up much space. all you have to do is feed and let him go to the bathroom every once and a while
"Sarah": haha '
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comic_relief
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Clearly, hence the different spellings and the different etymological histories and the different senses.iqqi said:
synonym: "two words that can be interchanged in a context are said to be synonymous relative to that context"
In the context to which I was referring, they are synonyms--equivalent words--meaning that they have the same definitions.
See, the two words are not synonymous in this context because, well, this context differs from the context to which I was referring. In this context, these words share the attributes that Frank described; however, I was talking about "acceptance" and "approval" as social phenomena.
For example, one can seek acceptance by a group of peers just as one can seek approval by a group of peers. In both cases, one seeks to be welcomed, as in the case of a "favorable reception" or a "feeling of being liked." In those cases, in that context, they carry the same meaning and thus are said to be synonymous--by definition.
Think critically. Act rationally. Please.
WhitePimp
Master Don Juan
I make fun of myself all the time. It's hilarious. The truth is, I'm such an egotistical self-loving person that making fun of myself is actually more fun than not doing so. I think I'm actually more interested in making myself laugh than fvcking girls...and I dont really have a problem with that anymore. :crazy:
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
I'm missing the self deprecating part.comic_relief said:
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
hmmm... maybe that was a bad example.Francisco d'Anconia said:
How about this from last night between my future roommate and me.
Me: *sitting in car*
Her: "wow, Kyle you sure are ugly."
Me: "Yeah, I know and I got a massive amount of ugly right here." *pointing at m face*
Her: "You know this ain't as fun when you do it to yourself!"
*back at her apartment*
Her: "I wish that you could just take the lead sometimes more often." (i move slower than most people in the routine)
Me: "Yeah, I wish that I could keep a beat too. That would be nice, I suck at that part."
Her: "Yeah, I wish that you could dance as well."
Me: "Yeah, I really wish that I could do that as well."
Her: *laughing*
I'm vice-president of the swing dancing club.
comic_relief
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Ever onward
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2004
- Messages
- 968
- Reaction score
- 3
What you guys are talking about is similar to what Juggler does. Only he calls it Disqualification.
DQ's are to show that you are actively not trying to win a woman's approval.
Example: Woman says something bad about someone else:
You agree and then say "but I do that to".
Woman: Bob's such a gossip. I hate it when people gossip
You: Oh I agree. People shouldn't gossip. But to tell you the truth, I'm part of the problem. I always talk to the old guy who lives next to be about all the old ladies in the neighborhood.
Or here is another example of DQ
She gives you a compliment, you agree and say "don't get used to it, usually I'm not like this.
Her: Nice shirt. I like your style
You: Thanks, it is a cool shirt. But to tell you the truth, I shop at Kmart.
Another great purpose of DQ is it sets her expectations to a realistic level. She has this picture of an ideal guy in her head and you are far from that guy. So every time she qualifies you, DQ instead.
Example:
Her: I like how social you are
(see this is bad because she is comparing you to her ideal of male perfection in her mind. Sure you compare favorably THIS time but eventually you won't measure up. So when she qualifies you, DQ)
You: Oh thanks, but sometimes I'm a total introvert. I just want to grow a beard and live in a cave.
Now you're probably asking what's the difference between DQ and self-depreciating humor?
Self-depreciating humor is apologetic
Example:
You: Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm a dirt bag
DQ is you're proud of being flawed.
You: I'm such a dirt bag. Want to see my shopping cart where I store my cans?
Embrace your flaws. You are not a perfect man. She in turn has to embrace you with all your flaws and not compare you to some ideal that you will never measure up to.
DQ
DQ's are to show that you are actively not trying to win a woman's approval.
Example: Woman says something bad about someone else:
You agree and then say "but I do that to".
Woman: Bob's such a gossip. I hate it when people gossip
You: Oh I agree. People shouldn't gossip. But to tell you the truth, I'm part of the problem. I always talk to the old guy who lives next to be about all the old ladies in the neighborhood.
Or here is another example of DQ
She gives you a compliment, you agree and say "don't get used to it, usually I'm not like this.
Her: Nice shirt. I like your style
You: Thanks, it is a cool shirt. But to tell you the truth, I shop at Kmart.
Another great purpose of DQ is it sets her expectations to a realistic level. She has this picture of an ideal guy in her head and you are far from that guy. So every time she qualifies you, DQ instead.
Example:
Her: I like how social you are
(see this is bad because she is comparing you to her ideal of male perfection in her mind. Sure you compare favorably THIS time but eventually you won't measure up. So when she qualifies you, DQ)
You: Oh thanks, but sometimes I'm a total introvert. I just want to grow a beard and live in a cave.
Now you're probably asking what's the difference between DQ and self-depreciating humor?
Self-depreciating humor is apologetic
Example:
You: Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm a dirt bag
DQ is you're proud of being flawed.
You: I'm such a dirt bag. Want to see my shopping cart where I store my cans?
Embrace your flaws. You are not a perfect man. She in turn has to embrace you with all your flaws and not compare you to some ideal that you will never measure up to.
DQ