"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Poison Ivy

Kalen

Don Juan
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Any ways to get rid of it faster? I went on a hiking trip and without realizing it got ivy on my hands then on my eyes and nose. Now the whole left side of my face is swollen up pretty bad and my nose is crismon red.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Eternal

Master Don Juan
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Calemine lotion. Oh, and take baking soda baths...take something like Arm&Hammer baking soda and sprinkle some in a warm bath. That helps with the itching.
 

DJ Fedorov

Don Juan
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Oct 19, 2002
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I had it REALLY bad 2 years ago, the calemine lotion didn't work all that great and I had to go to the doctor to get some really powerful cream that had stereroids in it I think and it seemed to work, those oatmeal baths also seemed to help a little, they sell them at most stores like WalMart etc.
 

semag

Master Don Juan
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*sings*

You're gonna need an ocean... (dum dee dum da dum)
of calamine lotion.... (dum dee dum da dum)
You'll be scratchin like a hound...(dum dee dum da dum)

The Miiiiinute you start to mess around...

Poison I-veeeheeeaaayyeeeh.... Poooison I-veeyeeayeeah...

Late a night when you're sleepin poison Ivy comes a creepin all aroooo--uuund...
 

Kalen

Don Juan
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Went to the eye doctor to make sure that the swelling around my eye wasnt damaging anything and he gave me some steriods and an antibiotic. Then before i went to bed i put some coldsore medicine on the really dry and painful parts and it seems to have reduced it some. Since the coldsore medicine worked im not so sure now that it was Ivy and that it was some sort of infection.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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