Points of advice for LTRs

[gravityeyelids]

Most of the advice on here is directed towards single men trying to spin plates and/or simply get laid. But what about when you get into a LTR? My LTR game is pretty solid, however there's always room for improvement. I've only had one real long term relationship before the one I'm in, so I'm looking for tips for LTR game and keeping the attraction and fun high throughout the relationship.

A few questions like:
How often is too often to be hanging out with your GF or staying at her house? (I live at home currently)

When out at a bar or club with her, at what point do you step in if another guy is talking and/or flirting with her?

Gift giving: my girl is super generous and is always giving me things or doing things for me… buying me drinks, cooking me food, offering to pick up the tab at restaurants, etc. (I don't have a lot of disposable income, while her parents provide her with quite a bit of money) I don't want to feel like a schmuck and bum off her. I want to be the man and pay for stuff, but honestly I'm pretty broke because I'm starting to pay off my loans. I try to surprise her once in a while with nice craft beer, but she's ALWAYS doing/buying stuff.


And also any other random points of advice the fellow DJs here can provide based on EXPERIENCE?

 

[El Payaso]

Just politely decline her gifts, food and what not. That way you don't feel obligated to match her generosity. That way, you also don't become dependent on her setting yourself up for a hard fall when she starts to withdraw (yes, it's bound to happen at some point).

 

[logicallefty]

When out at a bar or club with her, at what point do you step in if another guy is talking and/or flirting with her?

In this, I pay close attention to her response and actions. Is she egging his attention on, or giving him hints like she may be interested. Is she touching him?

If it looks like she is enjoying it and/or initiating it, I walk up to her, say "Hey I'm going outside for a few...." If she follows me outside, I might say "I am ready to blow this joint, but you can stay if you like".. If she doesn't follow me outside, I will wait about 10-15 minutes, and just leave... I ended a 1 year LTR this way one time. My GF was dancing with another dude at a bar we were at.. I told her I was going outside. She didn't follow. I waited 10-15 minutes, then left.. Blew her off for 2 days. Then called her and told her her behavior was not acceptable, and we were done.. She BEEEGED me and apologized about 50x in 10 minutes.. But I stood my ground too never took her back.... Neeeeext....

On the other hand, if it looks like he is totally all over her and she doesn't look like she is egging it on or wanting it, I will come get her and say "Hey come over here for a minute".. Then tell her privately "Why don't you stay with me here and if he comes over let me handle it, unless you are ok with what he was doing but it didn't seem like it. ".. If he comes over to you, say something like "I appreciate the offer for company but we are good here..." Try not to get into a brawl, ever! If you do, try to make sure you are in front of a security camera and that he makes physical contact first... But man best just not to brawl at all if you can help it..

There are any number of ways this could go.. But the bottom line is, it's more on her than him..

 

[parkthebus]

Remember the power struggle is constant. Never give the relationship more time than she does. Maintain your life outside of the relationship; women want a man with a purpose that's higher than them, otherwise they think they're gods gift and stop valuing your relationship. Remain aloof, with occasional shows of affection. Not things like telling her you love her to the moon and back but surprising her with a dinner date or a present. Remember not to do this too much though, maybe once every two weeks. Don't stay at her house more than your own, Max 3 times a week but 2 is better. If you can, have her come to yours more often if not all the time. Never shower with attention. The take home point to remember is, women become comfortable and that's when they're interest level declines. You have to constantly remind her of reasons not to be comfortable by demonstrating there is more to your life than her.

 

[Reykhel]

Keep one foot out the door always......

this will end. They always do. Could be tomorrow, could be in ten years. Keeping
one foot out of the door is good for your health and the energy of the relationship.

givers are fantasitc but be wary of the rule of reciprication and becoming dependant on her
"kindness". I had one girl that I was seeing that I though of her "wow, there are actually givers
out there", but her giving came at a price....

I think one of the most important things in a relationship is: space. Like parkthebus said, keep
your own interests.....

As far as the relationship: try to show her your appreciation....you could do sappy things like send her
a little sappy funny card every couple of weeks/month....to show appreciation...

I like to follow the same mantra: create an opportunity for sex to take place, bring value and have fun.

Think only of the present tense with her.

Think of keeping tension in the relationship. butterflies in the stomach is basically tension and anticipation. the minute you get comfortabel you drop the tension and the so called "magic" dies.......

 

[Fireballs]

Don't move in with them. Mistake I am regretting now.

 

[SmooveMooves]

I'll make a full fledged elaborate thread on it tommorow bro. I got you.

 

[RangerMIke]

Be aware of what is happening. Do not be blind to flagging interest.

Continue to be a man... show her respect and affection but NEVER get too mushy. She has to know that you will walk away if respect and affection is not returned.

In every relationship one is in it more than the other. .. make sure she cares more about the relationship than you do. But remember if one starts giving more than the other... it becomes unstable. Never give too much... And never take more from her that you are not willing to return.