Anyone else feel like a douche when you repost your own work?
Here, check this out, it's about getting that elusive face to face, not foolproof but it won't do you any harm either.
I'll share what has worked for me, but just a quick word about transitioning from IM to swapping numbers and texting/talking. I emphasize this is just my personal experience and some generalisations are necessary. Texting is the default method of communicating up to the first date, this just seems to be what the online dating community has collectively settled upon. You'll get advice to be different, make the call, I can't say whether it really does play to your advantage or not. My experience has been that all the girls, without exception, who wanted to initiate a phone conversation proved to be trouble; punishing company, highly strung, and very hard to shake off. So for that reason, I don't call and I use text to maintain a bit of distance and if she's smart, she'll do the same.
I like to find a way to scope out her schedule before I set something up. Even if she legitimately has something on, it will kill her interest if she's forced to keep turning you down, so make smart suggestions based on what you know she does through the week, play the percentages. Of course, if she drops her original plans or suggests another time, that's brilliant. Try to avoid directly asking about her schedule, you should be able to glean enough detail in the course of regular conversation (sporting commitments, regular movie nights with her girls, work drinks, upcoming vacations).
Be very wary if her schedule is full to bursting, you'll always be chasing. If it takes longer than two weeks between your first IM and a face to face, forget it, it's not likely to happen. Likewise, if you've made two, maybe three smart, well targeted passes at hooking something up, and she hasn't got on board, you have to next her regardless of her sincerity, it's too much work. No fault on her part, the real world just gets in the way sometimes, so be it.
As it turns out, Tuesday to Thursday seems to be the sweet spot.
I know what you're saying about getting grief from girls when you don't follow proper date protocol when 'asking them out'. Big deal, cop some grief, it's the outcome that's important.
This is old news, but don't call it a date, banish that word from your IM vocabulary. "How about you meet me at.....", "Let's hang out next Wednesday" Usually met with a "wow, you sound sure of yourself" or
"confident, aren't you, what makes you sure I want to?". Keep rolling, "I think seven sounds good, don't you", she'll fall into line, "Sure! Can we make it seven thirty though?".
My experience has been that if you get the scheduling right, the venue right, and the language right then you've done as much as you can. It's not a guarantee, but everyone recognises online dating is a numbers game, and this approach has defnitely lifted my numbers.
