"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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POF hitting a new low?

Zarky

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OMG I haven't been on POF in about a year. Back in the day you could scrounge up a 5 or a 6 for a little desperation-sex during the dry times. It was kind of like McDonalds, the food sucks but it's cheap and there's always one around if you're hungry and broke. Now I'm looking on there and it's all 4s and below. I want a new screw but I won't even touch these. WTF?? Are you kidding me?
:mad: :confused:
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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joverby

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Ya, man. I'm not sure how big your city is. But for me I live in a 60k+ pop city w/ a few 10K-30k sorrundings nearby. There is VERYYYYY slim pickins on there. Like 3-5 girls in my area I would actually shag. No joke.

I'd say it would worth a shot for people to check out but don't count on it. I seem to be having better luck on Match.com . Some good looking girls I've been talking to. They actually messaged me after I winked at them or returned a wink, or I probably wouldn't of subscribed.
 

Solomon

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http://thesoloist1.wordpress.com/20...rince-foreword-by-my-mentor-amante-silverste/

^^my prime on POF, I was going on a new date every other week, I was getting numbers every other day. I'm not the best looking bloke I just had a tight profile with good pics.

POF now is like a wasteland its dry for me most of the time then BOOM some water but as quick the water comes is how it quickly dissapears

Its not what it use to be, and the quality is trash don't let posters like 49au fool you though into thinking its quality (I think he met his BDP of there yet still vouches for POF)
 

Zarky

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Well I'm in Socal which is huge. However, it seems that all the attractive ones are super tall. I'm not into chicks who are over 5'8, I like petite ones, yet the average chick I'm seeing is taller than that! I guess tall chicks aren't snapped up very quickly, guys must like shorties like I do :eek:
 

joverby

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I think all guys like shorties, bro.(Almost all at least)

My last GF was like an inch shorter than me. Didn't bug me too much and she didnt' wear heels. The one time she did she was taller though o_O

But I def prefer them shorter than that.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Solomon

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Zarky said:
Well I'm in Socal which is huge. However, it seems that all the attractive ones are super tall. I'm not into chicks who are over 5'8, I like petite ones, yet the average chick I'm seeing is taller than that! I guess tall chicks aren't snapped up very quickly, guys must like shorties like I do :eek:
I find it hard to believe you can't find even a "6" in SOCal on pof. I bet you Socal looks better then Minneapolis don't believe me just browse Minneapolis POF and let me know what you think of the wilder beast, you may need a hunting rifle mate!
 

Zarky

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well, there are some, but they're either 5'9 and up, or are single mothers, both of whom I don't touch. I did the single mom thing twice and it was awful.

Keep in mind too that I'm going for chicks in their 30s, not in their 20s, so the hotties have often been snapped up by that age. I was at a Navy Ball a year ago with one '6' I pulled off POF, and around me were a ton of young guys 18-22 with SMOKING ASS wives/girlfriends. I was stunned. Of course it'll be interesting to see them in 20 years...

So yeah when you're in your 20s you can pick up chicks who are 7s and 8s that, when they get into their 30s, turn into 5s and lower.
 

Robert28

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i just cancelled my pof account because it's a waste of time. i'm not into messing with single moms and that site is LOADED with them. not only that but these girls are LOSERS for lack of a better word. they even have the gall to think they deserve some Bradley Cooper type when they're spitting out b@stard children left and right. alot of fatties on that site as well and the FEW hot girls on there wont talk to you at all. it's not that just the quanity of women have gone down hill, the quality has too. it's hard to bag a 5 or 6 on there much less an 8 or 9.
 

pdx1138

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ha ha Robert so true.

So many bitter chicks showing their cards right off the bat.

DON'T bother messaging me if:

(HUGE LIST)


Also I like the ones that say they won't respond if you only type two sentences and yet their profile is empty or less than one sentence.

I have never gotten even a single response from the better looking ones there, but I get a lot over at okcupid.
 

joverby

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Spot on, PDX. I've seen those countless times. About 15% feel the need to put they don't just want a ONS on there too.(Clearly just got hump & dumped for the 100th time in a row. )

I"ve also seen a lot of those instant bitter showers. i.e. "I have trust issues." I couldn't believe some of the sh1t these chicks said. I know if I said half of this sh1t there's no way I'd stand a chance.

But that's probably why they are on POF.

I'm really tempted to make a thread regarding these things. I think there's enough stupid sh1t chicks do on there to make one.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Robert28

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the sad thing is i've seen many of the same chicks on match.com that were on pof. theyre on ALL the fvcking dating sites!! basically you move to a different site and have the same crappy girls to pick from with one or two that you havent seen before. that's why im not on match.com either.

i laugh at the ones who put "if youre looking for sex dont bother" or something to that effect. what the hell do you think guys want? your company? i can honestly say ive never dated a girl who i didnt want to have sex with.
 

oneboy21

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POF is a gallery of ugly chicks and average chicks with low self esteem.
I have never seen any chick with good manners and well education
 

gaspipe

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joverby said:
Spot on, PDX. I've seen those countless times. About 15% feel the need to put they don't just want a ONS on there too.(Clearly just got hump & dumped for the 100th time in a row. )

I"ve also seen a lot of those instant bitter showers. i.e. "I have trust issues." I couldn't believe some of the sh1t these chicks said. I know if I said half of this sh1t there's no way I'd stand a chance.

But that's probably why they are on POF.

I'm really tempted to make a thread regarding these things. I think there's enough stupid sh1t chicks do on there to make one.

The fact of the matter is a high percentage of these chicks,especially the hotter ones, are just there to see how many chumps message them over and over again and have no intention of dating anyone. The satisfaction is the validation they get from this.

I know of a girl acquaintance who is on POF and is a 6 at best. She tells me she gets 40-50 messages a day. I could only imagine the volume of messages an 8 or 9 will get. Its the thrill of the attention they thrive on, plain and simple.

The ones who are willing to date, from my own short experience on POF are either fat, ugly, look nothing like their picture and/or have more baggage than Heathrow airport.
 

Solomon

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gaspipe said:
The fact of the matter is a high percentage of these chicks,especially the hotter ones, are just there to see how many chumps message them over and over again and have no intention of dating anyone. The satisfaction is the validation they get from this.

I know of a girl acquaintance who is on POF and is a 6 at best. She tells me she gets 40-50 messages a day. I could only imagine the volume of messages an 8 or 9 will get. Its the thrill of the attention they thrive on, plain and simple.

The ones who are willing to date, from my own short experience on POF are either fat, ugly, look nothing like their picture and/or have more baggage than Heathrow airport.
I know a girl who would be a "3" to most guys standards, and she gets +12 Messages a day

The girl who I boned who was a 6 not to long ago said she got 70 messages a day

:(

lol @ Heathrow airport thats a funny one mate

POF is "Cop N blow" aka "Pump N dump", to guys claiming their getting "quality" i saw "show me"

If your dating a solid "8" or above its cause your not a regular bloke, thats for sure whether it be in looks, money etc
 

Stagger Lee

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I agree with everything said about POF and that goes for OKCupid and all the dating sites. I have concluded that you have a better chance of picking up an 8+ in a club on a sausage fest night, than getting the rare 7-9s on those dating sites.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Sue Madre

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Stagger Lee said:
I agree with everything said about POF and that goes for OKCupid and all the dating sites. I have concluded that you have a better chance of picking up an 8+ in a club on a sausage fest night, than getting the rare 7-9s on those dating sites.

It's better to spam the pay sites like match because those girls don't get 100 messages a day.
 

pdx1138

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Sue Madre said:
It's better to spam the pay sites like match because those girls don't get 100 messages a day.
2 of my lady friends got 50+ a day for awhile after signing up.
Both are 7's one is 37 the other 53.
 

Borknagar

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Solomon said:
I find it hard to believe you can't find even a "6" in SOCal on pof. I bet you Socal looks better then Minneapolis don't believe me just browse Minneapolis POF and let me know what you think of the wilder beast, you may need a hunting rifle mate!
Hahaha Whats the difference between a wilder breast, a scalleywag, and a grenade? I see you use all three terms lol I've decided I need definitions!
 

Borknagar

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Stagger Lee said:
I agree with everything said about POF and that goes for OKCupid and all the dating sites. I have concluded that you have a better chance of picking up an 8+ in a club on a sausage fest night, than getting the rare 7-9s on those dating sites.
Very true!
 

Stagger Lee

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pdx1138 said:
2 of my lady friends got 50+ a day for awhile after signing up.
Both are 7's one is 37 the other 53.
There's no approach anxiety behind a keyboard. That's why I think you're ahead to just approach in real life where there's less competition and hopefully the girl doesn't have an online dating profile taking all her focus up. Plus if you approach in person, you just answered the question if you both have any connection in real life.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

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