"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

POF denting my confidence/game

For_F

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I made a POF account about a month ago. I've experienced dozens of HB1s up to HB4s giving me attention and high levels of interest. I find many of them absolutely disgusting NOT because they are unattractive physically but because of their about me sections - "I'm hot property I choose who I want f*ck off if I don't reply to your first message." It's this false sense of power they get on such mediums as POF that drives all of this insanity.

I have gotten phone numbers of 4 HB8s (judging by pics at least) but have had no actual meet ups. Seems like this POF stuff is just to hook up with trashy pigs. I wasn't expecting to meet my next girlfriend but I thought it would be a little more positive.

But back to my point, all this bullsh1t on POF is starting to affect my offline game. I don't know, just in several subtle ways such as lowering my standards, not having as much confidence in myself, fearing constant rejection etc. In my 'real life' game I'd say I get at least 60% of girls numbers I approach and they tend to be nothing under HB7s. From then on I get dates with 50% of the girls I got numbers from.

I know obvious solution would be to delete my POF account but I still see potential to gain casual sex from hb5s or 6s. Perhaps my profile needs improvement.

Can y'all relate to what I'm saying?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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betheman

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its a world of delusion you seem to be buying into. if those wome were so hot and they were all that, what the hell are they doing online? most are trash, never forget that, ignore the profile, when you look at a profile, in your mind, the headline of any given profile should be...TRASH!
They big themselves up, they have to because its the only way most of them can grab any vestige of power in their sh1tty lives.
troll them, take the pi$$, never buy into it.
 

For_F

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It's in every extension of life these days though. Women get this power when they go clubbing because they regardless of their looks, get hit on by desperate drunk guys. At work many women with decent looks get preferential treatment. We are expected to let women have seats, walk before us, speak before us, be warm when we came with a jacket and they didn't. These by themselves don't seem troublesome but as a whole, men have become so pathetic in their status that it is us who are expected to prove our worthiness and potential to get a phone number or even a decent conversation. The act of dialogue has been stripped from underneath us and replaced by cliche rejection lines.
 

betheman

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For_F said:
It's in every extension of life these days though. Women get this power when they go clubbing because they regardless of their looks, get hit on by desperate drunk guys. At work many women with decent looks get preferential treatment. We are expected to let women have seats, walk before us, speak before us, be warm when we came with a jacket and they didn't.
says who?

men have become so pathetic in their status that it is us who are expected to prove our worthiness and potential to get a phone number or even a decent conversation.

youre right, dont be like them! you have nothing to prove, be different, take this sh1t in your stride and shrug it off, they dont want you to be a walkover


The act of dialogue has been stripped from underneath us and replaced by cliche rejection lines.
you need to mock, laugh at them, above all be confident in your dealings with them. they reject you? look them up and down slowly, shrug, smirk...walk away
 

Poonani Maker

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I've probably caught at least one strain of HPV from the girls I've fvcked off of there and from girls I've first met in person. They say after 10 different sex partners, you're highly likely to have caught it even if no symptoms (warts). 50% of men have it. You can try to choose wisely, but do you really think that a woman will tell you if she has it?? and it's dark at night in her/your room, maybe drunk at the time?

POF, as with bars, college, out in the business world, I'd imagine, have 50% women with STDs.

Don't let it discourage you that they reject you. These women are desperate. The sexually active ones wanna fvck. The non-sexually active ones want a "relationship" because they've already been fvcked many times over.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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VladPatton

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From bullshyt photos to bullshyt profiles to bullshyt requests and demands, I personally don't trust any of that online dating crap. Same goes for the ones you gotta pay for. Craigslist is beyond bottom of the barrel (you are most likely getting head from a transexual and not even knowing it!).

Keep it classic. See the girl live, talk to her, get her digits, date her a few times, go from there.

It's bad enough people lie, cheat, flake, and disrespect you in the flesh, you don't need to have it done to you online. Those biznitches are Average Frustrated Wh0res with unreal demands that no man in his right mind will be able to tolerate.

Just the thought of saying: "We met on POF" to anyone I know makes me wanna projectile vomit 20 feet.
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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It has been tested time and again. Everyone by now knows that women get 100's of messages per week. Even relatively ugly ones (just maybe more like 20-30). An attractive guy gets maybe 5-10 per week. Tops.

As a rule of thumb, girls online, especially POF go up 2 points in looks and men go down 2 points. Say you're a 7 and you meet a HB6 in person. You have a good chance with her. Online? You're fighting an uphill battle. You become a 5. Online she becomes a HB8.

Trust me when I say HB6's do actually think that they are gorgeous. Or at least they keep telling themselves that. Imagine. An HB6 online thinks that she is "gorgeous". What does that make a HB7? A goddess?

Going online is like a bum digging through a huge garbage bin at the mere chance of finding a half-eaten muffin with bird **** on it.
 

nismo-4

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A man's pof profile is only as strong as his worst picture.

Women online have huge egos because of the mass messages they get. Men don't get a lot, and since women won't initiate with you 99% of the time, what the hell else can a man do? What, wait for some hope of magic that a Sofia Vergara lookalike will discover him? What a crock of sh*t.
 

Stagger Lee

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OKCupid's research found that women rated only 20% of men's photos better looking than average. Whereas men rated women on a bell curve as would be expected. The men messaged the more atttractive rated females more but also messaged most women of course. But they said women went ahead and messaged some guys they didn't rate attractive anyway. I call these guys who are just good enough looking, but not no-gos.

But here's the thing. You are still worse off than at a bar with more men than women and every guy is drunk and approaching more, since even in a bar many guys are not approaching much or even at all and hopefully female inhibitions are down some. Plus online you can't rely on your nonverbals which I believe are a majority of what causes attraction.

Pof is worse than going to crappy dive bar full of dudes, UGs and a few 7+. Would anyone think the odds are good to pick up one of the few 7+s being swarmed by guys at a bar?

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/
As you can see from the gray line, women rate an incredible 80% of guys as worse-looking than medium. Very harsh. On the other hand, when it comes to actual messaging, women shift their expectations only just slightly ahead of the curve, which is a healthier pattern than guys’ pursuing the all-but-unattainable. But with the basic ratings so out-of-whack, the two curves together suggest some strange possibilities for the female thought process, the most salient of which is that the average-looking woman has convinced herself that the vast majority of males aren’t good enough for her, but she then goes right out and messages them anyway.
 

betheman

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Stagger Lee said:
OKCupid's research found that women rated only 20% of men's photos better looking than average. Whereas men rated women on a bell curve as would be expected. The men messaged the more atttractive rated females more but also messaged most women of course. But they said women went ahead and messaged some guys they didn't rate attractive anyway. I call these guys who are just good enough looking, but not no-gos.

But here's the thing. You are still worse off than at a bar with more men than women and every guy is drunk and approaching more, since even in a bar many guys are not approaching much or even at all and hopefully female inhibitions are down some. Plus online you can't rely on your nonverbals which I believe are a majority of what causes attraction.

Pof is worse than going to crappy dive bar full of dudes, UGs and a few 7+. Would anyone think the odds are good to pick up one of the few 7+s being swarmed by guys at a bar?

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/
lot of good sense in this post and truth
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

TillTheEndOfTime

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Stagger Lee said:
OKCupid's research found that women rated only 20% of men's photos better looking than average. Whereas men rated women on a bell curve as would be expected. The men messaged the more atttractive rated females more but also messaged most women of course. But they said women went ahead and messaged some guys they didn't rate attractive anyway. I call these guys who are just good enough looking, but not no-gos.

But here's the thing. You are still worse off than at a bar with more men than women and every guy is drunk and approaching more, since even in a bar many guys are not approaching much or even at all and hopefully female inhibitions are down some. Plus online you can't rely on your nonverbals which I believe are a majority of what causes attraction.

Pof is worse than going to crappy dive bar full of dudes, UGs and a few 7+. Would anyone think the odds are good to pick up one of the few 7+s being swarmed by guys at a bar?

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/

I have brought up the exact same blog post from OKC months ago. It validates basically every idea that I have about online dating:

1) Online dating is a woman's world.
2) Woman online think they are more attractive than they really are.
3) Woman online have unrealistic expectations of what they "deserve".

You have better chances almost anywhere else if there is a reasonable ratio of guys to girls.
 

For_F

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Well it's hilarious because I act like a prick to a bunch of women on POF who deserve it and then they just next me haha. In real life I can act like a prick to women who would be amongst the best looking on POF but they come back time and time again.

Do you guys think online dating will take over all aspects of dating? I think many women are still turned off by online dating only because theyre scared of their profile becoming public knowledge. Otherwise, it would feed the egos of women across the world. Another medium to reinforce and encourage women's beliefs that men are beneath them.
 

Naughty Ninja

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Enough of the nonsense. Who gives a fvck what women's "advantages" are? You have to work on yourself to improve in all aspects of life for you.

If you do POF you NEED to have your absolute BEST LOOKING pictures up.

I ignore everything and everyone on that site and just do what I do. And it works regardless of all the nonsense and theories thrown out on this site.

I swear to God I think some of you are completely controlled by women. Their looks, actions, everything. Ignore that silly sh1t.
 

incognito42

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Actually I felt improved confidence, could
careless about rejection, have risen my expectations for what kind of chick I can get. The 2 main problems I see are...

1) you bother to read the about me section. I don't know how many times I've seen guys complain about what these girls say in their profile, what they claim to be looking for, if they do or dont have kids, if they have a job, if they smoke, etc. If you're worried about any of this then you probably aren't using POF for it's only real purpose

2) you take them too seriously. They aren't all Trashy rhinos. There's plenty of skeezy hot chicks too. Main point is you said it yourself, they're all trashy. Just ignore everything they say and treat Pof like an experiment. Be more aggressive with these girls too, just not in a perv kind of way


For_F said:
I made a POF account about a month ago. I've experienced dozens of HB1s up to HB4s giving me attention and high levels of interest. I find many of them absolutely disgusting NOT because they are unattractive physically but because of their about me sections - "I'm hot property I choose who I want f*ck off if I don't reply to your first message." It's this false sense of power they get on such mediums as POF that drives all of this insanity.

I have gotten phone numbers of 4 HB8s (judging by pics at least) but have had no actual meet ups. Seems like this POF stuff is just to hook up with trashy pigs. I wasn't expecting to meet my next girlfriend but I thought it would be a little more positive.

But back to my point, all this bullsh1t on POF is starting to affect my offline game. I don't know, just in several subtle ways such as lowering my standards, not having as much confidence in myself, fearing constant rejection etc. In my 'real life' game I'd say I get at least 60% of girls numbers I approach and they tend to be nothing under HB7s. From then on I get dates with 50% of the girls I got numbers from.

I know obvious solution would be to delete my POF account but I still see potential to gain casual sex from hb5s or 6s. Perhaps my profile needs improvement.

Can y'all relate to what I'm saying?
 

Naughty Ninja

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incognito42 said:
Actually I felt improved confidence, could
careless about rejection, have risen my expectations for what kind of chick I can get. The 2 main problems I see are...

1) you bother to read the about me section. I don't know how many times I've seen guys complain about what these girls say in their profile, what they claim to be looking for, if they do or dont have kids, if they have a job, if they smoke, etc. If you're worried about any of this then you probably aren't using POF for it's only real purpose

2) you take them too seriously. They aren't all Trashy rhinos. There's plenty of skeezy hot chicks too. Main point is you said it yourself, they're all trashy. Just ignore everything they say and treat Pof like an experiment. Be more aggressive with these girls too, just not in a perv kind of way

It's like some of these dudes are going "Wifey" shopping online. These chicks are all getting banged by who knows how many dudes and God help the poor soul who actually takes them serious and wants to wife up any of them.

Who reads profiles? Who cares? Look in your best looking pictures, spam message. ask them how the site is treating them. Then tell them you're not on the site much to comment about it to be honest. Give me your number and I'll give you a call sometime. (Your real name) =) Get number. Set up meet. Escalate.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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incognito42

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Depends who you're talking about. I haven't been good in big groups or going out until recently when I got on Pof. Wouldn't approach much, and of course wouldn't have much success. I keep pof in perspective at all times, but it's made me not give a **** also. On Pof its safe to say I could sleep with 5 new hot chicks per month. Probably more. Seems to me it's far easier and takes very little effort and if your get chicks in real life like that then it may be your strategy that's hurting you

Stagger Lee said:
OKCupid's research found that women rated only 20% of men's photos better looking than average. Whereas men rated women on a bell curve as would be expected. The men messaged the more atttractive rated females more but also messaged most women of course. But they said women went ahead and messaged some guys they didn't rate attractive anyway. I call these guys who are just good enough looking, but not no-gos.

But here's the thing. You are still worse off than at a bar with more men than women and every guy is drunk and approaching more, since even in a bar many guys are not approaching much or even at all and hopefully female inhibitions are down some. Plus online you can't rely on your nonverbals which I believe are a majority of what causes attraction.

Pof is worse than going to crappy dive bar full of dudes, UGs and a few 7+. Would anyone think the odds are good to pick up one of the few 7+s being swarmed by guys at a bar?

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/
 

Stagger Lee

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You can put your best pics up on POF, OKCupid or whatever else dating site, and even meet some girls in person. But if you don't look convincingly in person as good as you do in your pics, you likely won't get any closes.

That's what has been happening to me 90% of the time now. I've gotten older, my hair is thinner. A few years ago I was getting way over 50% of my meet ups ending in sex, and now over 90% don't. I was just out with a girl I met from online tonight. No close. It's also a whole different ball game when your age is over 30 and the site matches you with mostly women around 30.
 

incognito42

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That's understandable, but if it were me personally I'd use your best current pics. Even if they don't get as many responses as your older pics, I'd prefer putting up a fair representation of your current self so that you don't have that problem when you meet.

If you're not looking to actually meet them and just wanna use it for entertainment or to get nude pics, then by all means use older pics
 

Poonani Maker

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I really know what you mean. Just a couple of hours ago, b!tch totally interested (I'd added 2 new pics from yesterday), ask her what she's gonna be doing tonight, she says nothing blah blah, then asks me, I tell her exactly what I'm contemplating doing but am iffy on it, she messages back that she's free to go out in my town tonight (of course, using the word "maybe"), so I message back 2-3 things we could do here, go eat bbq, go eat at a fine expensive restaurant (I named it, I like it and I'll be hungry), and/or walk around/talk/listen to music at a festival that's taking place here all weekend. Yep, you guessed it, 2 hours later, she STILL hasn't responded/still logged off. I think that she was just fishing this morning/afternoon for dudes who'd be willing to take her out to boost her ego or tell her gf(s) who's house she's at about 5-10 miles south of me.

Plenty of Flakes, more apt, I'm getting pretty sick of it guys I'm good-looking but getting ever older. I CAN/am supposed to hook-up with this chick tonight I've already fvcked before, but I don't really want to fvck Any girl tonight, I just want to go out and have good times with one, maybe kiss, feel up, but no sex. I can't even get that good times anymore, but I can get a booty call from one who already knows me and has wanted me to call her for a month. I did finally this week.
 

Poonani Maker

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^^Welp, as I just wrote that, she messages back..
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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