Pls don't roll your eyes as you read this one - it'll help me in the long run

[TopGun2000]

IMHO, the only time you want to be persistent is when the girl is shy and conservative. doesn't look like the girl you mentioned is that type :trouble:

It's true that I have been guilty of not spinning more plates. I've probably been taking the easier route of trying to re-start things with this half-baked chick rather than get more options (like joverby said). that's the MAIN problem and i realize that.

But the other important thing remains: I basically want to learn from this experience. I want to slot her in the right category. it's just that she has flaked on me twice, and conventional wisdom would say "don't give her a chance again so she can flake once more". Which i sort of agree with. On the other hand, i read some thread about being persistent with a girl till she says "no" or avoids you. confused!

It's just that this girl flakes and then next week when i call she hangs out with me. She also takes my calls immediately. This weekend, if we didn't have a big storm & wasn't that cold, im quite positive she would have come over. She does seem the lazy type, as has been obvious in some of the talks we have had. I'm just trying to get better at identifying "types": Does she just need pushing or is just not interested at all (i know IL is not SUPER high for sure, but i can work with a moderate IL too)

How would you guys have handled it differently from the beginning or how do you read her?

Note: My life doesn't depend on this chick. I want to bed her, esp bec i feel im so close to doing that. I Dont have one-itis from this chick. instead of simply nexting, want to learn from you DJs as to why I shd be doing that and so I can apply that in future....

 

[pdx1138]

How would you guys have handled it differently from the beginning or how do you read her?

Had she not shown up or called to say she couldn't make it WITHOUT a counter offer.....then you walk away.

It's that simple.

A woman who has genuine interest will make you a priority & appear at the time agreed to. Anything else is wasted effort.

Get used to it, it will happen a lot.

 

[mark123]

Thanks pdx1138/Topgun2000. She is a little on the shy/conservative side (as i experienced when i have tried to pass some sexual innuendos) but nothing too extreme. I actually met her on an online dating website and do see her logging in pretty frequently. maybe she has other prospects too.

I dont really give a fvck about her anyway. This was meant to be casual. just want to come out a better and more in control person out of this experience. Speaking of which, i don't think I was in control on the phone with her - for her to have said "u seem upset" means i was showing my cards. gotta work on my composure, esp since i anticipated this.

 

[pdx1138]

I actually met her on an online dating website and do see her logging in pretty frequently. maybe she has other prospects too.

I guarantee she has many.

All of the flaky women I've dealt with on dating sites are online daily, no doubt going through tons of messages, with interest levels changing as the sun rises and sets....

You know how to deal with it now.

 

[mark123]

I guarantee she has many. All of the flaky women I've dealt with on dating sites are online daily

You are absolutely right. I "dated" this chick from online briefly for about 6 weeks earlier this year. I would log in just to see her activity there every once ina while and saw her active within hours all the time . Of course, I didn't see potential there so never saw the need to confront her.

This current chick also is a piece of work. On our first date, she tells me that she has been on the website for 6-8 months and later had the nerve to tell me that i was the FIRST one she ever met....classic!

 

[mark123]

Update # 2

Ok - so after a week or so of NC from my side, she calls me up now and wants to watch a movie. I try to steer her towards watching at my place but she wants to watch one in the theaters. i didn't push it.

Any ideas on how I can convince her to come to my place after? I have already pushed the idea of coming to my place many times with her so don't want to seem to desperate.

I was thinking of saying after the movie "hey lets talk someplace quiet over wine. i have some nice merlot at my place and can show u those italy vaca pics i was telling u about". any good? and if she seems 50-50 anything else to say to convice her? Thanks all!

PS: by the way, NC works wonders!