Plenty Of Fish fun

[:-)]

I'm going to post various openers and exchanges that might be cause for amusement or prove educational. I shall update as time goes on. Feel free to add your own. In the meantime:

Case #1:
Me: You're quite tall for an Oriental lady, aren't you?
Her: You shouldn't make assumptions about people. I'm not Asian.
Me: You're quite tall for an Oriental-looking non-Asian lady, aren't you?
Her: Abusive message + Blocked (I couldn't read the presumably abusive message due to the blockage).

Case #2:
Me: Hey, what are you saying?
Her: Nothing. What are you saying?
Me: I'm saying where in (City) do you live?
Her: North (City). You?
Me: Ditto. Where in North (City) do you live?
Her: (Name of town)
Me: Cool not too far. I'd like to meet up with you to see if we hit it off. When's good for you?
Her: Where are you from?
Me: (Name of town).
Her: No response as yet.

Case #3
Me: What are you going to cook me for dinner?
Her: I don't cook for strangers. I do go out for dinner though.
Me: That's too bad. I don't take strangers out for dinner.
Her:

 

[:-)]

Case #4:

Me: You like a little gerbil.
Her: Ha ha. What?
Me: You look like a little gerbil, I meant to say.
Her: No response.

 

[compleks]

1 & 3 were good. haha

 

[VikingKing]

Case 1.

Her personality type says "hedonist"


me. Do you know what Hedonist means?

her. Wth?


me. Tell your mom I said thanks.

her. You're not welcome


me. I got yellow fever baby! (shes asian, i thought she would appreciate that)

me. But on a serious note, if you look like your mother, tell her 'm interested and to hit me up on here.

her. Are you on something?

me. I just think your really cute, so I wanted to get your attention. Did it work?

her. Yes but in a very annoying way. So no thanks.

me. Ok, not a problem! You can still let your mom know, thanks in advance!

case 2.

me. Hey I find you attractive. Now if the amount of guys you have been with is equal to or exceeds 20% of your age, I would never consider a committed relationship, only for fun, let me know

her. Hmmm .2 x 25 = 5


her. Difficult math for an accountant ya know.


me. ?

her. Oh so that's a serious question? I seriously thought it was joke. Like the dead wife thing in your profile.


me. I prefer the term "deceased wife". It sounds less graphic.


me. So did you go to xxxxx (highschool)

Her. I thought it was okay to be brutal since it was a joke...? Nah. I'm not from xxxxx. Moved here in January

I haven't responded yet. Probably wont.



Case 3.

Me. Red or white?

her. Totally Red.


me. Really? I thought you looked like a white wine kinda girl...hmmmm


her. Wow.. didn't know that was the question, but you're spot on. I am a white wine kinda gal. My favorite is Chardonnay. (these girls are just geniuses)

me. You know xxx on 6th street?


me. That's my favorite place to eat and have drinks. You should join me there Monday at 8pm, and we can enjoy some chardonnay together. (but i'm no where near that city, plus broke, I was going to flake any way.)

her. LOVE xxxx. No one ever wants to go with me, they all say it's 'too far' away from Main Street. Unfortunately, I play softball on Monday's and I'm pretty sure we have a late game next week.


me. Ok, when days are you available next week?


her. Don't know yet! Haven't gotten my schedule for next week, I will soon though!

Haven't responded.

 

[:-)]

Lol. Dead wife in your profile?

 

[Bible_Belt]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=2164657#post2164657

 

[j.619]

Lol. Dead wife in your profile?

This. There's no way you include that in your post, but not explain what it says lol

 

[VikingKing]

Here is my about me section. Fvck it, its online dating. I would prefer if you dont be little thieves, but you will, and I cant control that.
I'm a very good looking man building his own life while looking for a gal to decorate the fixtures. I'm looking for a replacement for my deceased wife. You must have light hair, good eyes or be willing to wear a wig and contacts lenses. You must also be willing to wear her clothes (size 9-12) and answer to her name (Brumhilda).



Some people can't handle a dry sense of humour. Life is too serious and you gotta laugh at the little dramas. I can be a little flirty or cheeky, but always a quite wolf.

I have very old fashioned values; the good ones. My ideal type would be a femine woman who takes pride in her appearance, character and is in touch with her sexuality, but who I can talk to for hours. I have no expectations and value all experiences for what they are whether it's dating and fun, or something deeper.

I'm also into working out and nutrition. I love hot weather or rainy days with a movie or book.

ps. I'm quite dubious about women with just one photo, unclear or distant photos. Don't take it personaly if I don't reply, sometimes I just can't see what you look like.

 

[:-)]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=2164657#post2164657

What kind of response do you get from this?

 

[:-)]

Here is my about me section. Fvck it, its online dating. I would prefer if you dont be little thieves, but you will, and I cant control that.
I'm a very good looking man building his own life while looking for a gal to decorate the fixtures. I'm looking for a replacement for my deceased wife. You must have light hair, good eyes or be willing to wear a wig and contacts lenses. You must also be willing to wear her clothes (size 9-12) and answer to her name (Brumhilda).



Some people can't handle a dry sense of humour. Life is too serious and you gotta laugh at the little dramas. I can be a little flirty or cheeky, but always a quite wolf.

I have very old fashioned values; the good ones. My ideal type would be a femine woman who takes pride in her appearance, character and is in touch with her sexuality, but who I can talk to for hours. I have no expectations and value all experiences for what they are whether it's dating and fun, or something deeper.

I'm also into working out and nutrition. I love hot weather or rainy days with a movie or book.

ps. I'm quite dubious about women with just one photo, unclear or distant photos. Don't take it personaly if I don't reply, sometimes I just can't see what you look like.

You're okay mate. I won't steal it.

Here's mine:

Love being with my friends and family.
Trying new ventures.
Meeting new people and making new friends.
Hanging out and socialising.

 

[Bible_Belt]

What kind of response do you get from this?

Massive attempts to demonstrate value.

(edit to answer question below)
Honestly, none yet, but I've been getting a lot of pvssy elsewhere, so I haven't been trying that hard. I've only been on there a week, and I live in a very rural area, so online dating is even more of a joke because there are so few people on it.

 

[:-)]

Massive attempts to demonstrate value.

How many bangs have you got from it so far?

 

[:-)]

Case 5:

Her: Hi, good afternoon how r u x
Me: Hey, how u doing?
Her: Hi, im great how u enjoying ur day x
Me: Enjoying it very much indeed. I'm at work! What you up to?
Her: I don't work weekends so chilling out watching the tour de france x
Me: Lucky you. Too bad for me the NHS (national health service) don't close weekends.
Her: Lol i guess so x so what do you do in the nhs x
Me: Doctor
Her: Wow so i take it u have ur work cut out for u there x u must be a very patient man x im a visual merchandiser in london x
Me: I'm very patient and i like to take my time. What do you visualise with us?
Her: Well i visualise a very patient man who is a amazing kisser x what do u visualise x
Me: I visualise you cooking an amazing breakfast.
Her: Really lol x must be a way to a man's heart.

Must be the doctor thing. I'm sure she would have given this up a long time ago had it not been for me being a doctor. Notice the change of gear after I mentioned it.

 

[VikingKing]

4.
me.
From looking at your profile, I get the idea that you have to play down your looks, because it attracts the wrong type of men if you don't. If you put up more pics, all the horn dog guys would go crazy, but that's not what you want. And I think I like that about you already.

her.
Hahaha well thanks. And yes I guess I do down play cuz I'm not looking for a piece of ass.


me.
Most women on here are just looking for a piece of ass, so what makes you different?

her.
Cuz I don't need it all the time. I have toys for that lol. I just like hanging with guys a lot more then girls


her.
But so do all the guys on here. They all just want some ass. This is just an easier way to talk to people that are out of their range lol

me.
I see. So what makes you cool enough to hang out with me?

her.
Hahahaha more like the other way around my dear


me. 7/5/2014 12:59:28 PM
Well you certainly have a sense of humor, thats good.

her. 7/5/2014 1:27:09 PM

Oh I sure do and I'm kinda on the sarcastic side

me. 7/6/2014 1:08:07 PM
Let's go to a nice restaurant, sit at the bar, and make fun of all the people there who are on dates. You'll drink too much, make out with me in the parking lot, and then bolt even though you are turned on because you want me to think you are a nice girl. I will totally understand, not be a d!ck about it, and look forward to seeing you again.

her. 7/6/2014 3:57:48 PM
Report this message for inappropriate content

Hahaha that actually sounds like a wonderful plan!!!


me. 7/6/2014 4:59:07 PM
I know. So whats your number, and I'll text you to set up a meet.

 

[:-)]

Did you get her number?

 

[Icegreen]

Here is my about me section. Fvck it, its online dating. I would prefer if you dont be little thieves, but you will, and I cant control that.
I'm a very good looking man building his own life while looking for a gal to decorate the fixtures. I'm looking for a replacement for my deceased wife. You must have light hair, good eyes or be willing to wear a wig and contacts lenses. You must also be willing to wear her clothes (size 9-12) and answer to her name (Brumhilda).



Some people can't handle a dry sense of humour. Life is too serious and you gotta laugh at the little dramas. I can be a little flirty or cheeky, but always a quite wolf.

I have very old fashioned values; the good ones. My ideal type would be a femine woman who takes pride in her appearance, character and is in touch with her sexuality, but who I can talk to for hours. I have no expectations and value all experiences for what they are whether it's dating and fun, or something deeper.

I'm also into working out and nutrition. I love hot weather or rainy days with a movie or book.

ps. I'm quite dubious about women with just one photo, unclear or distant photos. Don't take it personaly if I don't reply, sometimes I just can't see what you look like.

Wow, you actually copied my profile verbatim. The only thing you seem to change is the cliche sh*t about working out and nutrition. Atleast cite me. I'm disappointed yet flattered at the same time. :nono:

I believe the forum mods should give me a promotion for providing Noobolgy with this wonder piece of online dating literature.

Source - Post #34 of my old thread:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=213350&page=2

You have now tainted my about me section. What if some chick googles my about me section? She will see your garbage. Thanks bro!

 

[VikingKing]

Wow, you actually copied my profile verbatim. The only thing you seem to change is the cliche sh*t about working out and nutrition. Atleast cite me. I'm disappointed yet flattered at the same time. :nono:

I believe the forum mods should give me a promotion for providing Noobolgy with this wonder piece of online dating literature.

Source - Post #34 of my old thread:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=213350&page=2

You have now tainted my about me section. What if some chick googles my about me section? She will see your garbage. Thanks bro!

Yeah right. You already knew I did it. I googled that about me a while after I stole it from you, and I found a profile of a semi-retarded kid in a wheel chair, wearing a suit with a bow tie, and the pictures looked professional. In a city near me.

Also you tried to troll me, if you look at this post http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=2135788&postcount=31 and my response http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=2135801&postcount=32

Obviously it was you. You made a fake profile of some 29 year old 4/10 and hit me up, asked me to tell you about myself. So I made up so long retarded story about how I was a cocaine dealer, and just nonse which resulted with you saying the above post I linked.

and no, i left out the part about studying finance and logistics, kept the part about finance. Copyright it next time, thats what copyrights exist for.