I am able to make plenty of acquaintances. I am a college student, these are the type of people you talk about before or after, and sometimes during, class. They are the type of people you will greet when you pass them, perhaps even stop to have a brief conversation with. Interestingly, these people generally gravitate toward me, not vice versa. Yet, I have no real friends at college. No one I can hang out with just to kill time. No one I can suddenly call and hang out with when I am bored.
Perhaps I have grown too dejected, but I feel that my problem has deep causes that are fundamental to who I am. Regardless of what I do, I simply cannot break this threshold—a threshold I likely need to cross if I am ever going to become successful with a large number of women. I wear glasses, not the big “nerdy” kind, but glasses nonetheless. I strongly suspect that this a major reason, although certainly not a make or break one, for my woes. I am barely 21 years old and very few people wear glasses at this age. Basically, I suspect that I am automatically pigeon-holed and put in the “ignore pile”, if you will, because people consider me some sort of weird geek (there is some justification to the notion of me being a so-called “nerd”, but people should not be assuming this from the moment they spot me. That absolutely kills me.). Hence, I am contemplating getting contacts.
One problem I have, I don’t know how large it is, perhaps someone who has been in a similar situation, can tell me, is that I was basically a loner during my first two years. People form cliques immediately, I had a chance but blew it and even exacerbated that by wasting my second year. Hence, I am on the outside looking in at the cliques around me.
It seems some of the people I tried to be friendly with, or know my prick roommate, who talks about me to his friends and reveals my social woes, see me as either a freak or an object of pity. Once I was eating in the school cafeteria eating alone and the girl from right across my room—who I tried to befriend (I had little attraction to her) but got absolutely nowhere—and her boyfriend kept looking at me every minute or two. I presume that is either due to pity for me or because they see me as a freak and find me entertaining, in a perverse way. At any rate, I mention this particular event not to whine, but to try to give some insight on how I am perceived by others. What kind of person would evoke such a reaction? If it is pity, they are not willing to try to help me by bringing me into their circle, or even have lunch with them that one day. That strongly illustrates how repugnant I am to some. They don’t want anything to do with me.
I am not “broken” yet. I have eight months remaining here. After that, I go to law school. I am at a point where I have become mostly stoic about my fate during my final months here, although as this thread suggests, I have not totally thrown in the towel yet. I am neither excited or deeply depressed about my state. Still, I was a very effervescent individual—even as recently as three months ago. I would be very excited to wake up each morning. To give you an idea of what kind of outlook I used to have, I would start each morning with the song “Beautiful Day” by U2 blaring from my computer speakers. Now, I feel nowhere near like that. I feel as if I am a robot going through the motions, just trying to get the finish line. There is no excitement in waking up and racing a few day anymore; it feels like a job.
The only quality I have that people automatically assume about me is that I am seen as intelligent, largely due to my classes and perhaps because of my Asian ancestry (being Asian certainly is not a plus in terms of clicking with a population that is 95 or 96% non-Asian). Given this, my value in the eyes of women should increase in coming years as they start to think long-term and seek a guy who has a high-paying job, and I am the type of guy that people assume will be making a lot of money because I am perceived as intelligent. How can I parlay this, in any way, if possible, to increase my chances with women? I do have a solid sense of humor, especially when I am in my effervescent state, but that is something a lot of guys have. The only thing that I have that 99% of guys don’t have is the “he is going to be someone” or “he is going places in life” aura. That is why I seek to capitalize on it because it is the only competitive advantage I have, but, like I stated earlier, it is a double edged sword. It kills me with many 18-22 years women at college.
This post may be a bit incoherent but I am in a state that I have never been in before. Sure, I had bad times before, but I never lost a fundamental zest for life then. I always hoped that things would change for the better in the “near future.” Right now, I am basically just coasting to the finish, with only the slightest expectation of an improvement in the next 8 months. I hope my post gives an indication of the type of problems I face and what kind of individual I am and some who have been in a similar situation can offer advice.
Yes, this post may be pathetic but this my last life line, if you will. If I don’t see any reason to cause me to believe that things can change soon, I will pack it in for the remainder of the year and hope I can do better in law school, where I definitely will not make some of the mistakes I made, mistakes that were so basic but carried great consequences.
Perhaps I have grown too dejected, but I feel that my problem has deep causes that are fundamental to who I am. Regardless of what I do, I simply cannot break this threshold—a threshold I likely need to cross if I am ever going to become successful with a large number of women. I wear glasses, not the big “nerdy” kind, but glasses nonetheless. I strongly suspect that this a major reason, although certainly not a make or break one, for my woes. I am barely 21 years old and very few people wear glasses at this age. Basically, I suspect that I am automatically pigeon-holed and put in the “ignore pile”, if you will, because people consider me some sort of weird geek (there is some justification to the notion of me being a so-called “nerd”, but people should not be assuming this from the moment they spot me. That absolutely kills me.). Hence, I am contemplating getting contacts.
One problem I have, I don’t know how large it is, perhaps someone who has been in a similar situation, can tell me, is that I was basically a loner during my first two years. People form cliques immediately, I had a chance but blew it and even exacerbated that by wasting my second year. Hence, I am on the outside looking in at the cliques around me.
It seems some of the people I tried to be friendly with, or know my prick roommate, who talks about me to his friends and reveals my social woes, see me as either a freak or an object of pity. Once I was eating in the school cafeteria eating alone and the girl from right across my room—who I tried to befriend (I had little attraction to her) but got absolutely nowhere—and her boyfriend kept looking at me every minute or two. I presume that is either due to pity for me or because they see me as a freak and find me entertaining, in a perverse way. At any rate, I mention this particular event not to whine, but to try to give some insight on how I am perceived by others. What kind of person would evoke such a reaction? If it is pity, they are not willing to try to help me by bringing me into their circle, or even have lunch with them that one day. That strongly illustrates how repugnant I am to some. They don’t want anything to do with me.
I am not “broken” yet. I have eight months remaining here. After that, I go to law school. I am at a point where I have become mostly stoic about my fate during my final months here, although as this thread suggests, I have not totally thrown in the towel yet. I am neither excited or deeply depressed about my state. Still, I was a very effervescent individual—even as recently as three months ago. I would be very excited to wake up each morning. To give you an idea of what kind of outlook I used to have, I would start each morning with the song “Beautiful Day” by U2 blaring from my computer speakers. Now, I feel nowhere near like that. I feel as if I am a robot going through the motions, just trying to get the finish line. There is no excitement in waking up and racing a few day anymore; it feels like a job.
The only quality I have that people automatically assume about me is that I am seen as intelligent, largely due to my classes and perhaps because of my Asian ancestry (being Asian certainly is not a plus in terms of clicking with a population that is 95 or 96% non-Asian). Given this, my value in the eyes of women should increase in coming years as they start to think long-term and seek a guy who has a high-paying job, and I am the type of guy that people assume will be making a lot of money because I am perceived as intelligent. How can I parlay this, in any way, if possible, to increase my chances with women? I do have a solid sense of humor, especially when I am in my effervescent state, but that is something a lot of guys have. The only thing that I have that 99% of guys don’t have is the “he is going to be someone” or “he is going places in life” aura. That is why I seek to capitalize on it because it is the only competitive advantage I have, but, like I stated earlier, it is a double edged sword. It kills me with many 18-22 years women at college.
This post may be a bit incoherent but I am in a state that I have never been in before. Sure, I had bad times before, but I never lost a fundamental zest for life then. I always hoped that things would change for the better in the “near future.” Right now, I am basically just coasting to the finish, with only the slightest expectation of an improvement in the next 8 months. I hope my post gives an indication of the type of problems I face and what kind of individual I am and some who have been in a similar situation can offer advice.
Yes, this post may be pathetic but this my last life line, if you will. If I don’t see any reason to cause me to believe that things can change soon, I will pack it in for the remainder of the year and hope I can do better in law school, where I definitely will not make some of the mistakes I made, mistakes that were so basic but carried great consequences.
