Please offer Advice to an Rafc-->Read

[Exniceguy]

Hi there: This is my first post ever so i ask you not to flame.

I've went from unable to even talk to girls to being able to hold a normal conversation with any girl. Right now, I'm not really a pro DJ yet (okay not even close i admit). I dont think i kino properly tho, i need help on that.

I must admit that my success rate isnt that high; i know i can do better. I think im doing something wrong, and i was wonder what you guys think it is.

Here's how i usually approach:

1) say hi and talk about anything possible
2) get her laughing (talk about generally things)
3) after 5 minutes ask for a number

Girl usually give their number but generally, they dont date lol. Not much interest sparked for sure.

I think I don't kino properly. I'm not really sure how. I usually either
1)brush their cheek
2)put arm around them.
3) Slap them lightly

No good results for either. Any smooth kino moves you have? Please share (i promise i wont tell anyone lol )

SAMPLE APPROACH:

Here's a bit more detail to what i have done in the past (feel free to skip over this).

I met a girl while volunteering at a seniors homes. We flirted for a while, talking about general thing (nothing that you wouldn't talk to your guy friends about). She laughed alot i found and kinda took the initiate to talk to me. I had to leave so hugged her goodbye.

Anyways, met her again the next day. Did the same thing: chatted about just anything, school, hobbies etc.

She didn't really mind me putting my arm around her waist or feeling her up. She had no real reactions. I was going to kiss her but I chickened out lol.

I found out she had a boyfriend later. So much for thinking i was smooth lol.

Better luck next time.

More info available on request.

Thanks alot for replying

 

[wjh]

start with shaking their hands.

 

[Exniceguy]

Originally posted by wjh
start with shaking their hands.

lol i hope thats a joke. I thought that would set them on "formality" mode. And plus im only 18

 

[octane_orphan]

It kinda works but in formal situations, meetings, weddings etc etc ... if you have just met and your both dressed casual then I wouldnt do it :s

 

[wjh]

no, don't shake their hands like you would a business partner. be gentle but firm.

if you just start off humping a girl (which is the sort of vibe I'm getting) you're not going to get any success. you'll come off like a creep. start off small.

either that, or you need to provide a lot more detail about exactly how your conversations flow and what sort of body language you're using.

i'm largely considering the fact that you touch their FACES within minutes of meeting them. kino is important, but touching a girl's face isn't the smartest way to START kino.

 

[Exniceguy]

anymore advice

 

[DoubleD]

Hey man.. sounds like your trying hard... maybe too hard. Just cause you get a woman laughing doesn't mean she's gonna sleep with you. I've known plenty a funny man that don't get laid.

Sure kino can be important.. but again I've got a bunch of friends that go for heavy Kino without building other sorts of rapport and girls just think of them as weird or at best as one of their new girlfriends.

I would reccoemend that you stop reading this board for a weeks worth of approaches.. apporach without even thinking and don't even try. See what happens and write down what works. Don't try to make her laugh.. don't force the kino.. just relax and be cool.

You need to get the 1st part of your game sorted before you start escalating and going for kino to get her horny etc.

DoubleD

 

[Exniceguy]

Double D
hmmm, good advice. Actually, I kinda did the oppposite of what u predicted: I didnt approach enough.

What i can comprehend is why your "friend with heavy kino" fail to become anymore than weird or girlfriend. Sure, they need credit just for trying, but why girlfriend all of a sudden. I always thought it was kino that differntiate between chump and champ.

Thanks

 

[Delta Male]

This is actually a very common scenario for rAFCs. You're getting numbers, but you're not making anything of them, so you say "I need to add in more C&F" or "I need some smooth kino moves." Smooth kino moves and C&F help is used at the right times, but they're not your problem right now.

You're problem is a deeper one: you're not a very cool guy and you don't really believe you're attractive. Girls pick up on this, and therefore, they don't want to date you. It's very hard to admit this to yourself, but it's the first step towards making some solid improvements.

If you keep blaming your problems on needing another gimmick, routine or tactic you'll be stuck in an endless cycle of searching for new gimmicks, and getting no results.

So how can you solve this problem? It's going to take a long time, because it's a massive change in inner beliefs and personality. Years, in fact. You have to

-improve your inner beliefs
-improve your body language
-improve your voice
-improve your body
-improve your style
-improve your vibe
-improve your opening skills
-improve your #closing skills
-improve your phone game
-improve your game on dates
-improve your kino and sexual talk
-improve your performance in bed

Lot's of stuff, right? There's lots of resources out there that can help you, but you'll never change any of these things unless you do the work to do it. As in, you should be doing at least 20 approaches per week. If you're interested, PM me and I'll point out a few things that might be helpful to you.

-Dan

http://www.rapidsocialimpact.com

 

[Exniceguy]

thx for your advice Delta Male. I sent you a PM with some info that may help you understand the situation better.

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

searching for my sexual vibe

[QUOTE}This is actually a very common scenario for rAFCs. You're getting numbers, but you're not making anything of them, so you say "I need to add in more C&F" or "I need some smooth kino moves." Smooth kino moves and C&F help is used at the right times, but they're not your problem right now.

You're problem is a deeper one: you're not a very cool guy and you don't really believe you're attractive. Girls pick up on this, and therefore, they don't want to date you. It's very hard to admit this to yourself, but it's the first step towards making some solid improvements. [/QUOTE]

BINGO!!!! Damn does this ever describe me to a tee. It certainly explains why my relationships never get off the ground. They never even make it onto the runway. I guess they all explode in the hangar.

My problem is twofold:
I have no sexual vibe to speak of and I suck at building rapport. I've only had sex 3 times (I'm 27!!!) and all were miserable experiences. The last was 2 years ago.

So, in the meantime I meet women like crazy, get a few numbers, create no attraction, and crash and burn, then repeat about 200 times.
What am I getting out of this? Not much.
I have the balls to approach. (great)
I'm not afraid of rejection. (yep, I'm so used to it that I expect it. Whoo-hoo)

I've used many techniques, but they come across as very fake and forced...plus, I'm a terrible liar.

Usually I just ask them if they're single. VERY high rejection rate, almost 100%. I'm being honest, and it's very efficient. Some consolation.

I guess I should be glad, in a way. Goodness knows I wouldn't be such a good lay for an HB.
Perhaps I'm just not ready yet.