Please help, what to make of this rejection??

[sidewind3r]

I kept on noticing this girl at school over 2 years ago, we would take the same bus and get off at the same stop and we always noticed each other but i never initiated conversation with her.

Whenever we'd see each other we'd look at each other as if we'd acknowledge the fact that we should talk but we just didn't.....


Finally, last year (I work at a gas station) she came to fill up her car. so I say "hey, dont i know you from school" and she says "yeh, and were neighbours too".

Turns out she lives 5 houses away....

So finally we chat a bit but we get interupted and she leaves, but i see her again at work the next week and we chat again but i still don't make a move...

to make a long story short i saw her like 4 or 5 times, she seemed interested but annoyed that i never made a move and then i didn't see her for like 9 months. (she was landed at university and i was still taking my time finishing up "my french canada, prequel to university" degree.... )

lo and behold i start university, and who do i see? anyhow.... i notice her but i just let her walk by, staring like a loser.

BUT

she shows up at my gas station a week later and we chat, she acknowledges seeing me at school, we have a great 10 minute convo, then i ask her if she wants to see me sometime and she says yes and gives me her number.
This was a sunday,

i call her on wednesday, but she isn't there so i leave a message just so she knows i tried to call. she doesnt call me back so after 3 or 4 days (tonight, a week later exactly) i decide to call again.

She's home, remembers me and is sweet and receptive on the phone. I let her talk about herself and find out all sorts of things about her then we discuss school and exams.. 10 minutes into the convo, i say, "so are you free this friday"???
she quickly replies, "oh no really not, i have plans with my girlfriends, its the first day off from exams and the beginning of the reading week (1 week holiday)"...
and then before i can ask, she chimes in.. "and during reading week im busy too, seriously i have like 4 friends with birthdays all in a row and were going to these bars (names all these bars) to celebrate them"...
so im thinking, wow thats really odd that she's totally busy all this time, this must be a subtle rejection.
so i joke and say, "well you're a busy girl, should i try again in a month"???
to which she replies, "hihihihihi, maybe"....
So im about to end the conversation but she keeps on talking and the convo reaches an all time peak, we discuss our messed up neighbours and her family and a bit of mine etc.

just when im about to end the conversation, she beats me to it, saying she has to go back and study now, so i say, yeah same here (we talked for exactly 30 minutes, but it flowed perfectly without any stuttering, she kept the flow really well, she did 65 % of the talking, it never got boring).

So i say "well, yeah i have to go as well, basically i was calling to see if you were available to go out some time, but i see that youre a busy girl, heres my number just in case something opens up... (she takes down my number) but if not (politely, jokingly sarcastically) i'll call you back in a month or something",

to which she replies, "oh just call back the week after",
to which i reply (reading week???) and she says "ugh, oh, the week after that".

I mean how vague is that??? thats like in over 2 weeks from now. Did she just give me her number to be polite? she's obviously letting me off gently, if she were playing hard to get she would have given me an opening right??

where did i go wrong... she seemed to enjoy the conversation and all and it lasted a whole 30 minutes,
if i felt like it was getting lame i would have ended it right away...

am i the victim of a girl who just doesnt want to hurt my feelings?

 

[ikkenai]

 

[backbreaker]

i literaly can't read that...


go back over it and make different paragraphs

 

[DinoCassanova]

I wouldn't call her again, personally. I would erase her # from my phone and pretend I hadn't met her. If you see her at school ignore her. If she says something to you, then chat a bit maybe but always be the first to end it. Because basically on the phone she used some DJ type of tactics on you; she showed you how busy she was/is , what a "life" she's got going, so she's got you thinking now about how cool it would be to be a part of that life. She also was the first to end the convo. That's also a DJ type tactic. She sounds like she's just , yeah, like you said, "letting you off easy". Don't waste too much time thinking about this one either; you'll risk getting one-itis. If she was really interested in doing something she'd give you an opening to invite her somewhere, you're right. This is just my opinion; others will weigh in here as well I'm sure. ~Dino

 

[sidewind3r]

thanks for the reply, it confirms my initial thought. A female don juan, who'd have known.

 

[backbreaker]

Now... It's a good chance that she doesn't want anything to do with you...


BUT...

Give her 2 weeks, and call her back...


Hell, she just might be telling the truth...

Give her the benefit of the doubt...

Call her, sense she told you to... Go in expecting to set up a date (don't take a whole 30 minutes either). If she gives you some flake job... just tell her, "honestly babe, I'm not getting getting a great vibe from you, so I will just see you around some time... Take care and have a great time at the bars, etc".


My last GF did something like that...s he actually cancelled 2 dates that we setup, actually didn't cacnel, just didn't pick up the phone when I was coming to get her...

So one day I called her and said "look... you are cool, but i'm going to be honest with you... I am going to give you ONE more chance to go on a date with me, and if you dont', then I will leave you alone, but I'm not going to put up with this flakiness"

Low and behold we not only went out, we went out THAT NIGHT and the rest was history.. turns out she was getting over an EX and still had some precautions about getting out there.


No harm in giving her the benefit of the doubt.

However, once you realize it is a flake job (assuming it is), let her know that you won't stand for it (in a polite manner of course) and simply move on.

No harm done, because you aren't chasing her anymore

 

[sidewind3r]

thanks backbreaker, but i'm worried that calling her again would make me look like an inexperienced tool if she is a flake, where as leaving things as they are right now would let her know that i either understood she isnt interested (if she isn't) or that her vagueness just turned me off, and hopefully she'll call ME up when she makes up her mind...

 

[Serialized3]

Originally posted by sidewind3r
thanks for the reply, it confirms my initial thought. A female don juan, who'd have known.

Uhhh... not so much a "female don juan" as much as she's a girl who is indirectly rejecting you. She hopes that by promising you time in 2 weeks or three weeks or whatever that either you'll forget or you'll call her and get the runaround again man. I had a girl promise me she would call me in a month...let's just say that never happened (and i didnt expect it to).

Give it up, actions are three thousand times more honest than words.

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by sidewind3r
thanks backbreaker, but i'm worried that calling her again would make me look like an inexperienced tool if she is a flake, where as leaving things as they are right now would let her know that i either understood she isnt interested (if she isn't) or that her vagueness just turned me off, and hopefully she'll call ME up when she makes up her mind...

your missing the point..

Who gives a damn what she thinks...if she doesn't play fair this time you are not going to call her again anyway!


What YOU are saying is that you understand that she isn't inerested, and what I am saying is thaty ou don't even KNOW if she isn't interested.. Imean, it's a good chance she isn't, but you never know...

It's not going to make you look like a tool, as long as you are direct about it, with no hard feelings.