"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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please help need advice

DJArlington

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guys i dated this girl for three years on and off. we finally broke it off for good in December 2007. i was the one who broke it off w/her but now i'm torn up without her. i can't tell if it's loneliness, oneitis, the fact that my family hated her guts and tried to tear us apart (I'm Indian she's American / Caucasian). I had problems with her that led to us breaking up that were separate from my family (I found a porn video that she did with an ex-lover on her computer, problem was she was still in contact with the guy). Once my parents found out about the problems (like an idiot I told them what happend because I thought our relationship was over) they caved in on me and pressured me to stop seeing her. After that, all I wanted to do was hold on to her.

well let's forward to June 2008, now she is dating someone, sounds like a pretty decent guy. she still wants me in her life but only if i am able to handle the family situation. i can't tell if my family put doubts about her in my head or if the video is still bugging me (i.e. i still have trust issues with her).

i'm so confused. can someone shed some light on this? do i just need to move on? i have fixed all the independence issues with my family, which by the way took years of therapy. she lives across the country and sometimes i feel the urgency to move to where she is and just try it out. the problem is if i move there my family will freak out, so i guess i haven't worked the issues out. i feel like this weird relatinsihp w/my family is screwing me up, like in other areas of my life. they are great ppl it's just not healthy for me.

and by the way the sex was mind blowing - honestly it'll never get better than this.

and i have dated around during our on / off break up periods. the girls were cool but not like her
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Bible_Belt

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do i just need to move on?

She has done so herself, if she has a new guy and lives thousands of miles away. What do you mean by "still wants me in her life?" She has someone else now, and is likely keeping you on the shelf just like she did porno guy.
 

RokyRoc

Don Juan
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She is just being NICE. Sometimes that oneitis bug will creep up on you especially after 6 months of withdrawal. the best way to fix that is to go out and have some fun and meet some new ppl especially some new girls.
 
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