Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Please help me talk some SENSE into this girl!!

sux2bu

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I recently found out something very disturbing and depressing.. This girl I have know for 8 months is about to make the biggest mistake of her young adult life. This guy she is infatuated with just gave her a promise ring over Valentine's day.

Now, a little background. She met this guy over the internet. They both live in the same town. From what I understand he's HARDCORE AFC. You name it, he's done it. Everything in the book! Get this! She's only know him since Christmas. This guy crawls up her a$$ everyday. Comments, a$$kissing, buying her a rose every week, telling her she's beautiful all the time. [this girl is a 7 on a good day, and she knows it!]. Endless supplicating. The girl is only 17 and the guy is 20. This guy is a total loser. He wasted a year out of high school, then decided to take ONE class at tech. He dropped out of that. And he keeps promising her that he will go back soon. He works full-time at a Video Game store and still lives at home.




I told her this over the phone last night and she started to get "huffy" with me:

ME: He doesn't have what it takes to maintain a long-term realtionship, much less a marriage. He's VERY insecure, emotionally unstable, and lacks confidence. Not a good foundation to build upon. His feelings for you are blinding him and he has lost control. He will not hear of it until he has already CRASHED-N-BURNED. This one's going to end ugly. Sorry.

Me: I wouldn't be saying all this If I didn't care for you. I want what's best for you, and he's not it. I'm sorry. You can't see it because you're not thinking rationally and you're blinded into believing this pipe-dream and air castle in the sky that he has created. You are not crazy. Just misguided.

Her: But! I'm happy! And I love him!

Me: No, what you're experiencing is temporary insanity. The high (infatuation) will soon wear off! If you decide to go through with this, you will NOT have my blessings.. Just don't hate me when the whole thing collapses like a house of cards. k?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I look upon her as a good friend and I want what's best for her. I am NOT jealous whatsoever. I just hate to see this girl get in over her head with this guy. I just have this gut feeling. I feel helpless as to what to do and i've run out of ideas to persuade her not to go through with this!

Now, is there any other advice that you would recommend? I want to tell her that she's going to thank me later if she just listens to me! But, she is hard headed and hell bent! She is VERY insecure and will look at anything that gives her attention. So... it will appear as though my work is cut out for me.

Please help me help her.. THANKS IN ADVANCE.

:confused:
 
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sux2bu

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No one has been in this situation before?
 

Kevl01

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Sounds like jealousy to me.

Maybe it's better off she goes through this proccess so she can learn something valuable from it.
 

sux2bu

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Originally posted by Kevl01
Sounds like jealousy to me.

Maybe it's better off she goes through this proccess so she can learn something valuable from it.
No.. I'm not jealous. I just hate to see someone mess their life up. You're right. Maybe she should go through it to see what it's like. But, I would like to prevent all the turmoil and hell that she is going to experience.
 
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prophet123

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This is a hard situation to be in, and I'm afraid you're going to just have to let time run its course. I know you want to be a good friend and prevent this, but some people are just too stupid to realize good advice when they see it. My tip to you though, is to ignore it, and let their relationship run itself to the ground. Who knows? Maybe it will work. All signs point to no, though, so just stick around and be supportive if you can still stand being around her.
 

fragmentor

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Originally posted by sux2bu
No.. I'm not jealous. I just hate to see someone mess their life up. You're right. Maybe she should go through it to see what it's like. But, I would like to prevent all the turmoil and hell that she is going experience.
Dude, this whole situation is exactly what i was going through about a year ago, but instead of a friend it was my SISTER and the biggest idiot ever. And no i don't think it's jealousy on yuor part - it sure wasn't with me.

If you think it's hard watching your friend ruin her life with a total AFC that can't provide anything just imagine what it's like watching your own sister, your own flesh and blood go through it. At least your guy has a job, this guy busked (sang on the street) to make any money. What a fvcking loser.Thank God my sister got over it a while ago and it's in the past now (they were actually plannign to get married at one point).

My advice to you is this: He's a typical afc nice guy right? And your telling her that she shouldn't see him yeah? What you're basically doing is making him seem like a rebel in her eyes. Back off. Make your point - she can do better and she should watch out because it will only end in tears - and BACK THE FVCK OFF. If he's as bad as u say then it will get messed up and it's hard i know but the very best thing you can do is just be a spectator. Don't approve of him and don't constantly dissaprove of him.

This is a lesson she's got to learn for herself. Nothing you do or say can change that. It's sad but true. Just try and not let it bother you too much and when she mentions him just change the subject.

Keep the peace man.

Frag-Mentor
 

sux2bu

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I feel like i'm beating a dead horse when i'm talking to her. She's one of these close-minded girls that think's her way is the best way. And that's that.
 

fragmentor

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Originally posted by sux2bu
I feel like i'm beating a dead horse when i'm talking to her. She's one of these close-minded girls that think's her way is the best way. And that's that.
Perfect description of my sister and, to be brutally honest, most women these days. She'll learn but she has to do it herself. Just heed my advice and keep it real.
 

Luscious

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Guess what?
For all your hate that has been put on this guy, he is finding SUCCESS WITH A WOMAN. Imagine that. He may not be the uber-DJ with amazing skills, but he's clearly doing something right. Why must you hate on him for that?

What I gather from this is that you don't want her to make a 'mistake', right?
Earth to sux2bu...this might not be a mistake.
She may want a man like this.
She may simply be looking for a man and this guy is in the right place at the right time.

It sounds like, regardless of how you deny it, you are jealous. That's perfectly fine, I admit I am jealous all the time of other, although not necessarily 'smoother', but more successful guys.

If she is truly making a mistake, it is HER decision, HER mistake, and HER responsibility to realize and recover from it.

Ever try advising AFCs on what to do? It's like talking to a brick wall. They will shut down every DJ principle you offer with their sappy romantic crap. THEY DO NOT WANT TO CHANGE.

The same goes for this broad. She apparently IS FINE WITH HIM. If it isn't a good hookup, as you suggest, she will eventually reach the 'breaking point' and call it quits. SHE must have the realization that it won't work, and the decision must come from HERSELF.

Let it go. You're only going to look like more of a jealous guy if you keep trying to trash this guy to her.

Like anyone else, she will live and learn, and so must you.
 

PEACEDJ

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DON'T GIVE ANYONE I REPEAT ANYONE Advice when they DON'T ask for it. It only makes you look like if you are jealous and from what I'm hearing let this girl go and let her experience everything by herself.
 

ilyadaimpaler

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just curious, are you trying to get with this girl sux2bu? Cuz I wouldn't go through all that trouble without any hope of a payofff.
 

sux2bu

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Originally posted by ilyadaimpaler
just curious, are you trying to get with this girl sux2bu? Cuz I wouldn't go through all that trouble without any hope of a payofff.
Ah, hells no. I'm 22 ok? I've been around the block a couple times to know that "immature love" never lasts. I'm just trying to "drill it into this girls head." But, alas. The only way to get people to understand that you are trying to help and encourage then, is if you just let them hit rock bottom. Then, and only then will they see the error of their ways. This appears to be the case with this girl. Her mom is about as dumb as a box of hammers. I think she would let anyone marry her just to het her a$$ out of the house.

So, to answer your question. NO. I have no intentions whatsoever to pursue her romantically. People create their own little private hell that they live in. I'm just trying to alter history for her. Laters bro.
 

Da Game

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People only learn from experience. Not to mention that the more you say this guy sucks, the more she'll want to stay with him to try to prove you wrong. Don't bother being the voice of reason; it never works.
 

sux2bu

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Originally posted by Da Game
People only learn from experience. Not to mention that the more you say this guy sucks, the more she'll want to stay with him to try to prove you wrong. Don't bother being the voice of reason; it never works.
I may have to end up using reverse psychology on her. lol.
 

The Antichrist_Star

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The answer is plain and simple... let her fall on her ass, and then when she runs to you... **** her ;)

I'm kidding.

The Matrix: Reloaded
 

sux2bu

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Originally posted by The Matrix: Reloaded
The answer is plain and simple... let her fall on her ass, and then when she runs to you... **** her ;)

I'm kidding.

The Matrix: Reloaded

I don't accept damaged goods. :D
 
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