Please help me re-gain my balls...

[JeffMerr]

I've posted previously about this AW-type girl that I've been basically dating on and off for the past 5 months. I've tried breaking up with her 2 previous times and I always come back like a little b1tch. When I refuse to talk to her I'm basically spending my nights sitting in my room alone (full-time student/part time job), and it kills me, I always end up answering her text message and then a few days later its back to the same old sh1t. I've always been shy and never approach girls much, so I guess somewhere in my head I feel like I need to hold onto this one or something, this is the closest Dr. Phil explanation I can come to.

She doesn't respect me at all, she is a MAJOR AW, she is not girlfriend material, she comes from a broken family and has major daddy issues, but for some reason I just can't let go, I hate being alone and even though she stresses me out like crazy, I keep going back because I guess I figure something is better than nothing. What am I to do?

 

[MotownMack]

Inner game.

It's not about the relationship, it's not about this girl.

It's about you - you looking for a relationship to complete you, and this girl being the low hanging fruit, that's easy for you to go back to, rather than move forward with other things in your life. My guess is if you had other women, even ones who were not g/f material, you wouldn't feel this way.

Get a hobby, find a purpose, get some focus... anything that is new and fresh, that will help you break your old AFC problems.

There's an old saying: If you were unhappy with the results of yesterday, do everything the exact opposite today.

 

[randalll]

I've posted previously about this AW-type girl that I've been basically dating on and off for the past 5 months. I've tried breaking up with her 2 previous times and I always come back like a little b1tch. When I refuse to talk to her I'm basically spending my nights sitting in my room alone (full-time student/part time job), and it kills me, I always end up answering her text message and then a few days later its back to the same old sh1t. I've always been shy and never approach girls much, so I guess somewhere in my head I feel like I need to hold onto this one or something, this is the closest Dr. Phil explanation I can come to.

She doesn't respect me at all, she is a MAJOR AW, she is not girlfriend material, she comes from a broken family and has major daddy issues, but for some reason I just can't let go, I hate being alone and even though she stresses me out like crazy, I keep going back because I guess I figure something is better than nothing. What am I to do?

im going through exactly the same thing right now. this girl has said she likes me a few times and i said the same thing back to her like a little afc.. but she's defo not relationship material, she's had huge family problems too (was even in the local paper). when i said we should stop seeing each other she said she would be upset. two days after that we were back on again :S


btw what does AW stand for??

 

[Faded Image]

You remind me of the 2003 me.

How I got over my X-Wife:

This site, going out four or five times per week (anywhere). I met plenty of women without even trying, some liked me and of course some didn't.

That's when I realized that you can't rely on other people for happiness. Learn to be happy with life outside of a relationship before you go back into a relationship.

 

[KontrollerX]

Rollo says it all perfectly so here you go...

Never root through the garbage once you've dragged the trash can to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it and you rarely find whatever it was you thought would be worth looking for.

Never go back to an Ex; and particularly if she was the one who disconnected from you. The only reason AFCs think getting back together with an Ex is a worth while expediture of their time, effort and money is because they have NO OTHER OPTIONS. The fear of rejection by new, prospective women seems more terrifying than coming to terms with the time they waste trying to find the magic formula that will bring him back into an idealized relationship with a womon who once accepted him, but now rejects him. Hear me on this now, time and effort spent on a new prospect will ALWAYS be preferable to trying to get back with an Ex who's rejected you. Why do I say that? Because a woman who once accepted you for intimacy already knows you, has already experienced you and has already formed evaluations and comparisons of you - a new prospect has NOT, and therefore you can make new and better impressions. You were accepted and then later rejected, whether it was her fault or your own makes no difference.

The first thing I ask chumps who constantly ask me how to get back with the GF is "why would you want to?" Imagine for a second that the Ex miraculously saw you for the perfect BF you try to be all the time and took you back after ƒucking some other guy she was hot for. What does that say about you that'd you'd be OK with that? Guys think that a woman will genuinely appreciate this uber noble gesture of forgiveness in her moment of weakness. I'll tell you now, if you do so you will eventually be perceived as an even BIGGER chump than when she left. Women want to pair with a confident guy that other women will compete for. By taking her back you not only convey that you aren't capable of generating new options, but you are so desperate that you would reinforce her indiscretions by rewarding her with your continued attentions even after she banged some other guy. In other words, you're emphatecally telling her you're so pathetic that you don't mind being her second alternate. And just to carry the scenario further, lets say you do marry her after this. Now you're the guy she settled for for a life time. "Yeah, I love my hsband, but there was this one time when we split up and this other guy just rocked my ass soo hard,..." You're not her first choice, but you'd do. And you're OK with that.